All use; monetized, edited, or otherwise are acceptable. Credit SplashiestPig.

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Key:

(SFX created by the speaker)

{Stage Direction}

*non-spoken context*

~emphasis~

Privy Purrs

Alright, one last form. I acknowledge the rules of Neko Nurturing… Be patient with the Nekos… no outside food or drink… yep… yeah…

{shocked}

Do not molest the cats in the main room?! I’d certainly hope so! God, what kind of place is this?

*small pause*

No, it’s probably fine. The reviews are so good, some idiot probably got handsy so they had to make a rule. I swear, some people are just perverts.

*small pause*

There we go, all signed. I think that means I’m ready to head in. Oh! Hand sanitizer.

*small pause*

Okay, now I’m ready.

*small pause*

Wow, there are a lot more people in here than I’d expect.

*small pause*

Woah! If you were any bigger you would have knocked me over! Running into a hug like that. You’re a small one, aren’t you? Probably just a kitten.

*kitten runs*

And there they go. Must be a short attention span on that one. I guess I’ll just go sit down and see what happens.

*small pause*

(exhale)

Wow, this couch is really comfortable.

(yawn)

Was I this tired when I walked in? Eh, it’s probably the ambiance. The passive sounds of purring certainly aren’t helping to keep me awake. I could just lay down here and-

(yawn)

-Rest my eyes for a moment.

*pause*

(rousing)

{half-asleep}

Is there something..?

*small pause*

Oh, hey there kitty! I didn’t expect someone to lie down on me.

*listener snuggles*

Wow, you’re really cute. Do you have a name, sweetie?

*listener speaks*

I’m sorry, I must be hearing things. What did you say your name was?

*listener repeats*

Honey, that’s a number. Are you sure that’s your name?

*listener states*

I guess that… I guess that makes a little sense. I think I’ll still call you kitty, though. A number feels… off.

*listener snuggles*

You’re snuggling into me a lot. Are you cold, or do you just want pets?

*listener responds*
Little bit of both? Well then, let me just…

*small pause*

There. That should warm you up. And you look really cute with my coat draped over you. Can I… pet your ears?

*listener agrees*

Wow, you’re practically vibrating. Does it really feel that good?

*listener admits*

No? I don’t understand.

*listener states*

You just purred so I’d think you liked the pets? I don’t get it. Do you want ear rubs?

*listener states*

No? Okay, but you said you wanted pets. Do you want chin scritches or tail fluffs or..?

*listener admits*

You don’t actually want to be pet? But, why would you lie, dear?

*listener claims*

So I’d like you more? Sweetheart, I like you plenty. You don’t have to pretend.

*small pause*

Did you even want to lay on me, or was that just part of the act too?

*listener admits*

Well then, let’s sit up.

*small pause*

You can keep the coat if you want it.

*listener responds*

That’s fine. Now, why is a pretty kitty like you trying so hard to charm me? There are plenty of other humans here, and from what I understand, you’re allowed to just, not interact with us.

*listener states*

I’m sorry, you’ll have to walk me through this a little slower. This is my first time in a Neko cafe. What do you mean?

*listener dodges*

Yes, I see the other cats, dear. But that’s not answering my question. You said you ~had~ to charm me. Where do the other cats fit into that?

*listener questions*

You’re older than them? I suppose that checks out. You’re at least a lot bigger than all the other Nekos. Why does that matter?

*listener states*

You’re six years old? Okay, we still haven’t answered my original question. Why did you act so shy and cuddly when I first woke up? And why does your age matter at all?

*listener claims*

People only want kittens? What do you mean, want? I thought you just got to free roam the cafe. Why does it matter if people like you or not? As long as you aren’t actively violent, shouldn’t you get a free pass?

*listener disagrees*

That’s not how Neko Cafes work? Well, would you like to enlighten me?

*listener states*

Yes, the cafe only makes a profit if people come in. And?

*listener speaks*

Neko Nurturing can only support about eighty Nekos at a time? Okay, where are you going with this?

*listener states*

Older Nekos aren’t good for business? I still don’t get that claim. Why does the age of the Neko matter to anybody? You come to the cafe, maybe you get to play with the cats, you leave. Age seems like a non-factor.

*listener states*

I’m sorry, adopts? No one adopts older cats? I didn’t think adoption was on the table here.

*listener comments*

They let people in, the people fall in love with a Neko, and then they offer adoption for a large fee? Wow, that’s quite the scam, isn’t it?

*small pause*

So if I’m reading between the right lines, Neko Nurturing would only want kittens because people like to adopt young. But I think I’m still missing something. Why do you care?

*listener states*

{exclaim}

Kick you out?!

*listener shushes*

Oh, I’m sorry. I should keep this quiet, shouldn’t I?

*small pause*

Have they been threatening to just, throw you to the streets?

*listener denies*

You’ve made yourself profitable? Smart move, but I’m worried. What exactly have you done?

*listener denies*

You shouldn’t tell me? Kitty, you’re scaring me. Please tell me this isn’t some weird, culty thing, is it?

*listener worries*

Kitty, you can trust me. It’s really starting to seem like you’re in danger. And if you need help, then I want to help you. No matter how old you are.

*listener states*

You want me to ask the front desk about their, ~cashmere special~? Okay, can I tell them you told me that or..?

*listener denies*

Got it. I’m friends with Madison, and they told me about the special. Anything else?

*listener speaks*

Take my coat back? Alright. I’ll see you soon, then.

*pause for time skip*

Kitty, are you in here? ‘Cause being led to a dimly lit back room is starting to feel like an organ harvesting plot!

*listener reveals*

Oh my god, you’re naked! Here, take my coat back.

*small pause*

Kitty, I have one question that I fear will answer everything. Who exactly is Madison?

*listener states*

Yep, I was worried you’d say that. So, and correct me if I’m wrong but, have you been selling your body to this Madison and any of their friends because they own the cafe, and they’d kick you out if you ever stopped?

*listener confirms*

Sweetie, is that why you tried to be so friendly? Because the only way for you to escape is to be adopted?

*listener confirms*

Oh, honey. I’m... I’m so sorry. Am I the first person you’ve told about this?

*listener recounts*

You convinced someone to call the police, but Madison is friends with the commissioner? Oh my god, this is textbook sex trafficking.

*small pause*

That spot under your collarbone. It’s a burn wound, isn’t it?

*listener confirms*

This is…

*small pause*

How much does it cost to adopt a Neko?

*listener states*

Done, I’ll double it to get you out of here, tonight. Keep the coat, sweetie. Stay warm, and stay here. I’ll come to get you.

*pause for time skip*

Sweetie? It’s time to go. I’ve got all your stuff right here, which is sad enough as a concept, and if you need to say any goodbyes, we can visit some other time. Right now, stay close to me, and don’t look back, we’re leaving.

*listener agrees*

That’s it. Just hang on to me. We’re almost out.

*pause*

This car is mine.

*small pause*

There, you’re safe now. You don’t even have to think about that place, ever again. Just close your eyes, rest, and I’ll tell you when we get to your new home

*listener sobs*
There there, it’s going to be okay. We’ll get you a nice rest, then first thing in the morning, we’ll go shopping. We’ll get you a bed and some more clothes, and you’ll never have to debase yourself ever again. I promise.

{fading out}

It’s okay.

You’re safe.

Let it all out.

You’re okay.

It’s okay.