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Key:

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Artificial Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

~ ~ = Special Emphasis

{ } = Line Delivery

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That Really Gets My Goat

(whistle call)

I know you’re around here, Chuupy! You’ve been scratching up the rocks around this little den! Marking your territory, weren’t ‘cha?

*small pause*

Surely you know there ain’t that many Chup-s left! Modern world is here, Chuupy. We ain’t got no more tolerance for goat-suckers.

*small pause*

Come on out, Chuupy! You ain’t gotta’ be scared! I’ve seen the claw marks. You’re a big one! Surely, you can fight an old cowpoke like myself!

*small pause*

{sing-songy}

I’ve got some goat blood for ya’ Chuupy! Canned stuff, still fresh!

*small pause*

Here, let me crack it open for ya’!

[can hits rock]

(big sniff)

You smell that, Chuupy? Smells good, don’t it? I reckon’ you ain’t had a proper meal in days! Don’t you wanna’ sink your teeth into something real?

*small pause*

There’s my monster! Couldn’t resist the scent, could ya’?

*small pause*

That’s it. A little closer, Chuupy. You’ve got it. Just lunge at me and take the can! You can do this.

*listener lunges*

Gotcha’! That new-fangled snare trap worked a wonder! Good thing too, looks like you were going for blood! Ha, going for blood! I crack myself up.

*small pause*

Take the can, Chuupy. You earned it. And while you’re enjoying that, I’ll get you proper mounted. You're lucky I got to bring you in ‘live Chuupy. Otherwise, I’d just take your skull. It’d be much easier to carry, that’s for sure.

*small pause*

Ah, someone stopped hissing. Feeling better with a little food in your belly? Well, I hope it fills you up. It’s a mighty long ride to Brownwater, and I don’t got no more cans.

*small pause*

Hyah!

[horse gallop starts]

I ain’t go much to say to a mutt, Chuupy. Just stay quiet and we’ll have a pleasant ride. If you’re lucky, that doctor mister will get you sent to a reserve or something.

*pause*

[horse gallop stops]

What was that, an hour of riding and you stayed quiet? Smart dog. We’ll be making camp here then riding you out in the mornin’. I hope you don’t get any ideas ‘bout making an escape.

*listener “responds”*

Don’t you snarl at me! I could just kill ya’ and make the doc do some science bunk to prove you were a fresh corpse! Just sit nice and purty and if you’re really good, I’ll vouch for your survival. Ain’t many of your kind left, I’m sure some rich prick would buy ya’!

*listener stops*

Good dog. I think that cactus is dry enough to be firewood. If you stay quiet while I’m working, I’ll give you a bite to eat.

*speaker works*

Ya’ know, you’re at least a little less stubborn than the other Chup-s I’ve wrangled. Albeit, I’ve only ever got two before you, but don’t be thinking I’m inexperienced! I’ve hunted everything from chimera to cockatrice! They were all plain nasty so compared to them, you’re a bonafide saint!

*small pause*

Supper is mutton. If you don’t get all snappy on me, then I’ll give ya’ a nice piece. I assume you want it raw?

*listener “answers”*

Did you just nod at me? Must be an ounce of clever in that head. Alrighty, here ya’ go. It’s probably a little less than you’re used to, but beggars can’t be choosers.

*small pause*

[fire crackles]

I ain’t gonna’ eat mine bloody. Frankly, I don’t know how you stomach it. Raw sheep might just be the worst thing I’ve ever had to munch. Must be an acquired taste.

*small pause*

Say, I was just gonna sleep with you in the bag, but if you’re smart ‘nough to hear english, you’re probably smart enough to figure a way out. I’ll have to get you in something more binding.

*small pause*

Let’s see. I mostly just got gun stuff in my sack. I knew I shoulda’ grabbed that chain while I had a chance.

*small pause*

Rope, that’ll help a little, but your teeth are sharp.

*small pause*
Ah, my shovelhead. That gives me an idea! Wait no, you can climb with those claws, can’t ya’?

*small pause*

Guess I could just shoot ya’ a little. A bullet to the leg would at least stop ya’ from running.

*listener “begs”*

Don’t look at me like that! I weren’t gonna’ do it! And if I was, puppy dog eyes wouldn’t save ya’!

*small pause*

Tell ya’ what. I’m pretty sure Chupacbras don’t have the jaw strength to snap rope. So I’ll tie up your snout and hogtie ya’.

*small pause*

Now, I promise ya’ Chuupy, if you bite me while I’m tying ya’, I’ll shoot you dead. Got it?

*listener “nods”*

Wow, you are a smart dog. Alright, sit still.

*pause*

There we go. That should at least hold ya’ to first light. I gotta’ catch the sandman now Chuupy. Try not to struggle loudly.

[fabric rustles]

*pause*

[coyote growls]

{half-asleep}

Stop growling Chuupy. You ain’t got nowhere to be.

[coyote growls]

Chuupy, I swear, if you don’t stop rustling over there, I’m gonna throw you into the river and watch ya’ drown.

[gunshot]

What in the Sam Hill!

[coyote growls]

Coyotes! How’s that-? Nevermind, I’ve gotta get ‘em out!

*small pause*

{shouting}

Now git!

[gunshot]

[coyote growl]

Git! Go!

[coyotes retreat]

Coyotes. All bark and no bite.

*small pause*

Thanks for alerting me, I suppose. Although, I can’t reckon how much of it was just self-preservation.

*small pause*

How’d you shoot that first shot? How’d you even figure a gun?

*listener “responds”*

I suppose speech is still outside your wheelhouse, huh? Well, you still earned my respect with that one Chuupy. But it ain’t gonna save you from the chopping block. Go back to sleep.

*pause*

Wake up Chuupy, it’s time to finish up our ~partnership~.

*small pause*

I see we ain’t growling today. Something special I don’t know about?

*listener stares*

Hey, I already told you not to look at me like that! I don’t wanna’ see none of that! When we make it to Brownwater, I’ll tell them of your pleasant demeanor, but you ain’t escaping fate. I wanna get paid.

*small pause*

Hyah!

[horse gallop starts]

Nothing to snarl about this time? I imagine a hogtie ain’t more comfortable than the snare. You sure you ain’t got nothing to growl about?

*listener remains silent*

Fine, we don’t got much riding ahead of us. If your demeanor holds through, it’ll be smooth sailing.

*pause*

There she is, Chuupy. Brownwater.

*small pause*

Really? You got nothing? Most of the smarter bounties get flagrant when they’re at death’s door. You make peace in the night or something?

*small pause*

[horse gallop stops]

We’re not a mile out of town, and you ain’t got nothing to bark about?

*listener stares*

(groan)

I said don’t be lookin’ at me like that, Chuupy! You’re gonna’ make me do something I might regret!

*listener doubles down*

(angry sigh)

I better not live to regret this, Chuupy!

[knife cuts rope]

There, you’re free. Best I can see, you’re a pretty solid dog, I’m sure you ain’t causing that much trouble. Now git, before I change my mind.

*listener stays*

Don’t do this to me, Chuupy. Run. Run all the way home and don’t get caught ever again.

*listener stays*

God damn it, you’re sitting. You could figure out a revolver but you can’t run?!

*listener stares*

Alright, I get it. I don’t know what makes you special but you’ve worn me down. You can pal around for a while, but I’m still gonna head into town! If those folk draw and quarter ya’, I won’t be held responsible!

(sigh)

Let’s go then, Chuupy. Make sure to keep up. Hyah!

[horse gallops]

​

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