Google Doc with better formatting

All use; paywalled, monetized, or otherwise is okay. Any edits or sound choices are great. Credit SplashiestPig and I'd love to see any finished products post-publication.

Key:

[Background SFX]

(SFX created by the speaker)

{Stage Direction}

*non-spoken context*

|Author’s Note|

~Emphasis~

Cherishing Constriction

{relieved}

Another great Halloween, in the bag. I swear, the trick-or-treaters get better costumes every year. I mean, that little witch girl was spot on.

*small pause*

Porch lights, off! Oh, I should give Boa their treat!

*pause*

Hey buddy! Lounging in the sun lamp, are we?

*small pause*

It’s time for your favorite holiday tradition! Lights off…

a blanket to muffle the sound and…

Live mouse, coming in hot!

*small pause*

[snake sounds]

You go for it buddy, even if I can’t bring myself to watch.

*small pause*

Should I watch a movie tonight? Not like I’ve got anywhere to be tomorrow. What do you think Boa?

*small pause*

{speaking for pet}

You sssshould go to ssssleep, |name|? |If “name” has an “S” be sure to over-enunciate it|

{normally}

Classic Boa, always looking out for my health.

*happy sigh*

The snake is right. I’ll brush my teeth and get a good night’s sleep.

*pause*

[bed sounds]

I hear you’ve quieted down, Boa. Did the mouse get you in a food coma?

{speaking for pet}

Yessss, I am very ssssleepy.

{normally}

Goodnight then Boa.

{speaking for pet}

Goodnight.

*pause*

{annoyed}

[snake sounds]

Oh great, sleep paralysis. It’s always great to see you again.

*small pause*

I should work on managing my stress.

*pause*

It’s weird, normally, I can’t talk during this. I guess I’m getting better.

*pause*

Yep, get nice and close. You’re ~really~ scary.

[snake sounds]

Wow, I can actually feel you on my skin. You’re really scaly, it’s…

*speaker jumps out of bed*

(sounds of distress)

{panicked}

I’m not paralyzed! You’re real!

*small pause*

Stay back! I don’t want to die!

*small pause*

I said get back! I’ll fight you! Don’t think I won’t! Stay away!

*pause*

You stopped. That’s weird. But good! Please don’t move. I don’t know what you are, or why you’re here, but I’m sure we can work something out, just don’t hurt me!

*small pause*

Ah, you’re moving again! Please just go away! Go back to wherever you come from and I promise you won’t have to worry about me.

(yelp)

You’re moving! Farther away? Thank you so much. I’ll be grateful forever, goodbye!

*small pause*

You stopped again. I don’t understand, I thought we had an agreement. Please don’t decide to eat me now!

*small pause*

Wait, be careful! That’s my snake’s tank! You can’t fit you’re going to break it!

{worried}

Oh my god, where’s my snake! Did you eat them? Please tell me you didn’t.

*listener responds*

(yelp)

You can talk! That’s unexpected, but not unwanted. So, will you please go home and never come back?

*listener speaks*

{confused}

“Home”, yes, I want you to go to your home. I’m sure it’s better there than here.

*listener replies*

“Home”. Yes, I want you to go to the place you live. This is where I live. My home. You don’t live here.

(gasp)

Are you taking over?! Are you going to kill me and claim my house?! Please don’t!

[flesh on glass taps]

Why are you touching Boa’s tank?

*small pause*

Oh, my sweet stars. You look just like Boa!

{heisitantly}

Are you, Boa?

[snake sounds]

Oh, we’re getting close again! Please don’t..!

{terrified}

You coiled me! Please don’t eat me, Boa. We’re friends! I keep your tank warm, and I change your water, and… and I gave you a mouse! I know you’re probably hungry since you’re a lot bigger, but I can get you something else to eat, I promise!

*small pause*

{confused}

Are you hugging me? This is too weird. You have arms and a face. And you're sending me some really mixed signals. You spoke earlier and now you’re not. I think I’m going insane. Or I’m dreaming. Probably the latter.

*small pause*

So is this just a body heat thing or..?

*listener speaks*

“Love”?! Okay, I’m definitely dreaming. I’m just lonely and I dreamt of a tall, strong, oddly attractive version of my pet snake. This isn’t real.

[snake noises]

Did you just lick me?

*small pause*

I don’t know how to respond to that. Was that just to get a better look at me? Or are you tasting me?

*listener speaks*

“Good”. That’s not really an answer, but I guess I can’t expect too much from you.

*small pause*

Oh, you’re a good snake! Not eating me is very good! I don’t know if that’s what you meant, but I will give you plenty of positive reinforcement to not eat me!

[snake sounds]

{strained}

Okay, we’re coiling tighter! Please don’t crush my lungs! I know coiling is what you do to warm prey, but we’ve discussed this! I’m not food!

(sounds of struggle)

Release!

(deep breath)

{nervous}

Thank you. I’m so glad we worked on basic commands!

*small pause*

Is there a reason you tightened on me?

*listener answers*

“Cold”? Oh, you’re still naked! With all the crushing and fear I barely noticed. Here, let’s get you one of my shirts.

*small pause*

Just sit still and I’ll drape this over you.

*small pause*

{calm}

Okay, that’s that. It’ll probably take a while for you to warm up, being cold-blooded and all, but I think your human parts were producing heat. Maybe not, it was kind of hard to tell.

*small pause*

You aren’t going to fit in the tank, so I guess you can sleep in my bed. I’ll grab a blanket and sleep on the couch. Then I’ll wake up, and you’ll be a normal snake again, and I’ll be sure to cut stress out of my life so I never have these weird dreams ever again.

*listener asks*

“Leave”? I’m not leaving. I’ll just be a room away. Unless you're telling me to leave, in which case I will gladly eject, just say the word.

*small pause*

Goodnight, I guess.

*pause*

Hi Boa. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you aren’t very good at blending into the carpet. I know you’re laying right next to the couch.

[snake sounds]

{panicked}

Woah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to strike a nerve just stop dragging me! Hey! Boa!

[bed sounds]

{confused}

You dragged me back to bed? Are you still cold or something?

*listener speaks*

“Hug”? I guess I can’t blame you, hugs are pretty nice. Come here, Boa.

(grunt)

{happy}

Okay, you're still very heavy, please don’t lay on top of me.

[snake sounds]

You’re a crazy little snake, you know that? I’m not really sure how much of this is happening or if something I ate was laced but no matter what it is, I can cuddle with you for at least one night.

*small pause*

Goodnight, boa.