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Key:

[Background SFX]

(SFX created by the speaker)

{Stage Direction}

*non-spoken context*

|Author’s Note|

~emphasis~

An Arcane Archeologist

|If it isn’t too much of a hassle, all whisper SFX should be made by the speaker and overlaid onto the dialogue.|

|This script has a lot of [non-verbal SFX]. While I think they’re nice, the story could easily be done without them.|

[stone door slides]

{pleased}

Welcome my dear compatriots, to the forgotten crypt of Oiyv!

|This is just a mash of some letters. Any name would work, but I’d try to keep it vague enough to be androgenous|

After thousands of years, it has finally been rediscovered! We have to document everything! You two, head to the east chamber, you three, document this main room, and I’ll check in on the inner crypt.

[walking sfx]

Here’s the casket. The inlaid materials are very impressive considering the technology.

[camera flash]

Of course, the walls depict the life of Oiyv. We’ll be studying these myths for a while.

[camera flashes thrice]

Wow, there are a ~ton~ of paintings on these walls! Many more than the crypts of the high priests and concubines. We should consider how many of these stories will actually be attributed to Oiyv.

*small pause*

I’ll call the rest of the team in here to measure the room. Then we can see what’s left inside the crypt!

*turns around*

{amazed}

Wow! That gemstone is huge! I think it’s the centerpiece of the crown, but why it would be sitting on a doorframe eludes me.

[camera flashes]

I’ll take it down now since it doesn’t look like this was even the original resting place.

{conversing}

Hey, you’re down with the east room already? Alright, start measuring in here, I need to pop out for some air.

[walking begins]

[crystal reverb]

{confused}

What was that? Oh, no, did someone start up the radar while we were in here? Everyone knows how that messes with me!

[walking accelerates]

[desert night ambiance]

{annoyed}

Yep, definitely feels like someone turned on the scanners. There’s no way I’m laying down while they discover the find of the century!

{loudly}

Pack up the sensitive stuff and call it a night! And tarp up the entrance to the tomb, we wouldn’t want anything interfering.

[tent flap opens]

[ambiance quiets]

{normal speech}

[writing sounds intermittent]

Meanwhile, it’s time for ~you~ to get a closer inspection. What do we have here? About twelve hundred carats, clarity is; very slightly, or maybe eye clean, the cut is immaculate for pre-industrial tools. Quite the impressive jewel you had here Oiyv!

*small pause*

[desert ambiance fades]

It looks like there is a richer deposit in the center of the emerald. That’d be unheard of!

(unintelligible whispers)

It’s… really…

(quick exhale)

I must be more tired than I thought! I suppose it’s not too early to throw in the towel. It’s not like you’re going anywhere!

(chuckles)

[cot compresses]

Tomorrow, we’ll be ready to open up the casket. Then we can get some information off the bones!

(yawns)

*time skip*

(breathily mouthing words)

*snaps awake*

{tired}

Ugh, these expedition cots get worse every year! I barely slept!

[opens tent]

[desert day ambiance]

(yawn)

Looks like there wasn’t a sandstorm. That’s good! But I’m in no shape to head back under. I’ll just head to the research tent and try to sort some things.

[walking sfx]

[tent opens]

{more awake}

Okay, what’s around here? The east chamber was an armory so we’ve got some ornamental garments. The main room had these idols, they might be significant. Ooh! Now that looks interesting! It looks like a spare burial diadem! But it’s missing its gem. Actually, it looks like the center gem was pulled off after the gold set. Maybe even after burial? The headband is oddly large, maybe it was meant to go over the head, not on top. But that’s not how they depicted it.

*pause*

Maybe you just have to balance it. Will the front fit on my head?

*places crown*

Oh! That’s actually really snug. How is it…

{confused}

It’s smaller? I literally just looked at this thing and it seems smaller than before. Do I have heat stroke or something cause that doesn’t make any sense. How about I put this thing down and go get some water.

[walking sfx]

(unintelligible whispers)

{concerned}

Okay! I’m definitely delusional. I should let the medic take a look at me. Yep, I’ll get some water and then get a nice check-up! I’ll open up this tent and…

*small pause*

I thought I put this thing down! I must be really messed up to hallucinate actions. I’ll just drop this headpiece right here and walk away.

[crown hits floor]

Let’s get some water and then a check-up! Why am I repeating myself?

*small pause*

I really am losing it, but it’s fine! I caught the symptoms in time, I’m sure I’ll make a full recovery!

(drinks water)

That feels much better! And I’m sure the doc can fix me right up! I’ll head to their tent right now!

(whispered: No!)

{distressed}

And it’s getting worse! I need to see someone right now!

(whispered: No!)

I’m going to ignore that. I’m clearly not doing well.

(repetitively whispered: The Crown)

I’ve gone off the deep end! I am not going to look at that headband because the hallucinations tell me to. I am going to march into the medical tent and get myself checked!

[walking sfx]

[tent opens]

Doctor, I believe I am suffering from…

This isn’t the medical tent. This is still research, I’ve walked in a circle.

(repetitively whispered: The Crown ; The Floor)

Great, now I’m close to this thing. I shouldn’t acknowledge it. Entertaining delusion is a good way to get hurt. I am going to walk away from that thing and submit myself for an inspection!

(whispered: Wear It ; Put It On : Don It ; Take It )

I shouldn’t… I can’t… I

*puts on crown*

[background sounds silence]

{anxious}

I can’t see! I can’t see, I can’t hear, I must have passed out. This is not good, this is-

(yelp)

Is someone there?! No, no one is there, this isn’t happening. I’m obviously unconscious and this is my brain’s rendered confusion. Someone will find me laying on the floor and they’ll take me to the doctor and I’ll be fine.

(loud whisper: Don’t Trust The Doctor)

Great, the voice is still here. But it’s not real. It’s just my voice, in my head, being really creepy!

*jolts awake*

I’m back in the tent. I’m fine! I’m going to stand up very slowly and call for help. I’m not well, and no voice can tell me otherwise. I’m going to stop talking to myself and-!

Who are you!

*listener speaks*

{denial}

No, no, no, you’re not Oiyv! You’re a mirage or maybe a prank and I’m not going to entertain you. I’m going to the doctor.

*listener comments*

I don’t care if you wouldn’t go to the doctor, I would and I am. I need help!

*listener disagrees*

I ~do~ need help and you need to stop talking. You’re not real! Oiyv probably wasn’t even real, just a conglomerate of the ruling class. You’re a literary device, nothing more!

*listener warns*

{worried}

What do you mean, “the doctor will betray me”? Wait, no, I don’t want to hear anything from you. You’re not here! I’m leaving.

[opens tent flap]

(echoing whisper: Stop!)

Oh no, I actually did. I’m actually listening to the fake ghost in my head! I’ve lost it!

*listener denies*

{upset}

Of course, you’d tell me I haven’t lost it! You’re the problem! You’re a mental device that is trying to usurp power in my mind… and it’s working.

*small pause*

(sigh)

What did you mean about the doctor?

*listener speaks*

{skeptical}

“You’ve seen this happen before”? What does that mean? Do you possess people often?

*listener confirms*

“Yes”? You’re telling me that you’ve done this more than once, and each time your “host” goes to seek medical aid? Of course, people try to get rid of you! This is borderline schizophrenic! I don’t blame them!

*listener continues*

Oh, I’m sure. You don’t want me to go get help because they’ll think I’m crazy? I am crazy! I’m hearing voices and seeing long-dead deific constructs. I ought to be put in a straight jacket and shipped away!

*listener concurs*

Oh, you’re afraid they’ll ship me away, and cure you? Boo-hoo! You’re a figment of my imagination and I’ll dispose of you as such!

*listener parrots*

What do you mean, “like they’ll dispose of me”? Wait, don’t tell me. You think they’ll take credit for my work and shut me out? Right?

*listener deflects*

Well yes, you didn’t ~say~ that, but it’s what you’re thinking!

*listener argues*

Well yes, if you are me, then that would mean that I’m thinking that. But you’re not me! And this isn’t some suppressed fear it’s speculation at best!

*listener pushes*

No, I’m not the least bit worried that they’d cart me off and take the fame! They wouldn’t do that to me… would they?

(repeating randomly: Don’t Trust Them ; Trust Me)

{irate}

Stop that!

(words continue)

Stop it!

(words persist)

I said stop!

(silence)

{apprehensive}

Say, I believed you. What could you do about it? I can’t just live with you talking to me like this.

*listener offers*

You want me to get your crown jewel?

(echoing softly: The Emerald)

{annoyed}

And then what? You go away? I get sent to an asylum? You resurrect? What would happen next?

*listener answers*

You’d protect me?

(scoffs)

We’ve been over this buddy, you’re not real! But, I do need you to shut up if I’m going to fake sanity until the end of this expedition. If I go get your jewel, will you stop whispering at me?

*listener agrees*

Well then, you have yourself a deal.

[walking sfx]

[tent flaps opens]

(whispering: The Jewel ; The Emerald ; My Jewel ; Mine)

[Picks up emerald]

Is this what you want? Are you satisfied?

*listener speaks*

You want me to put it back in the crown? I had almost forgotten I was wearing this thing. I hope no one saw me in it.

*small pause*

All right, I’ll do it. But you better respect our deal!

(whispering getting louder: Yes ; The Jewel ; My Jewel ; Restoration ; Respect)

[crystal reverb]

There, it’s done! Now-!

[collapses]