Google doc with better formatting {https://docs.google.com/document/d/1da9i2ZoCkiMpqLPmD9GliwlYJFszwnSzYibnT4sW04U/edit?usp=sharing}

An Experiment Blooms

~Doctor; bitter~

Begin log for Project Tri-Phthalo, Day One.

*breath*

Proposed Query, what can humanity do to resolve our waste problem? Potential Hypothesis, create a being, organic or otherwise to dispose of the waste. After much genetic selection, I believe a modified specimen of Phylum Bryophyta is the best candidate. For the duration of this project, I will refer to this life as Phyta. The experiment is currently contained within a twenty-gallon terrarium. It has not sprouted from the soil yet, although I have faith that Phyta will survive where Bi-Phthalo and Mono-Phthalo failed. End Recording

*taps glass*

~Doctor; kind~

I believe in you Phyta. Even if the Consortium doesn’t. I know you can grow up to be big and strong, and then I’ll present you, and I won’t be the mad doctor anymore. I’m counting on you, so if there is anything you need, let me know.

*chuckles*

Not ready to talk yet? Don’t worry, I can wait.

{timeskip}

~Doctor; muffled excitement~

Begin log, Day Twelve. Three days before my calculations projected, Phyta has sprouted. A single bud is visible above the soil. Phyta is exclusively shades of green, suggesting they are quite healthy for the developmental stage. This could be considered odd since they did sprout early. One can only assume that the genetic build used to make them was near or precisely perfect. End Recording

~Doctor; lovingly~

That’s right Phyta. You’re so much better than I expected! If you can keep these rates up, I promise I’ll give you all the yummy plastic you can eat.

{timeskip}

~Doctor; serious~

Begin log, Day Eighteen. Phyta’s original bud has flowered. Many others have sprouted from the soil, although even the oldest show no signs of blooming. This observation is confusing but, will be assumed normal considering Phyta’s behaviors are all one-of-a-kind. Beginning today, I will be placing macro-plastics on the surface of the soil. Phyta has already consumed almost all of the micro-plastics within its enclosure and while that is valuable, eating a cup or a bowl would be much flashier. We will monitor the pod continuously to observe if Phyta is capable of consuming macro-plastics at all. End Recording

~Doctor; as if talking to a child~

Hear that Phyta? I’ll be staying with you all day now. And I’ll have an alarm to wake me up if you do anything special while I’m asleep. I’m never going to leave your side.

*overjoyed sound*

You’re doing so well, I’m just so proud.

{timeskip}

~Doctor; more casually than before~

Begin Log, Day Twenty-Three. Since continuous monitoring has begun, Phyta has grown nine percent faster than before. This may be because of stalling within gestation, a boost of carbon-dioxide thanks to my presence, or any other number of unknown reasons. Regardless, I cannot afford to lose that progress by leaving. Phyta slowly broke down the macro-plastic brick. Soon we will commence with the protein tests.

[quieter and unprofesional]

[I have some takeout here and I want to see if Phyta will consume the styrofoam but leave the leftovers inside.]

*regain composure*

Phyta has grown a mossy layer on top of the soil, and the beginnings of vines are forming around the original bud. How Phyta’s genetic structure allows for such a myriad of plant appendages is unknown and will be studied at a later date. End Recording

~Doctor; with a sigh~

I didn’t say it for the camera Phyta, but I think you're growing because I want you to. That may just be the five days of isolation talking, but it seems like you respond well to my praise. If that’s the case then would you please succeed on the takeout test? It would make me really happy.

~Doctor; under breath~

And if word gets out that you eat organic material too, people might not be so keen on releasing you. Passing the test would certainly silence those fears.

~Doctor; normal voice~

But don’t worry about that. Even if you ate live chickens I’d still be proud of you. Just do your best.

{timeskip}

~Doctor; impressed~

Begin Log, Day Thirty. Phyta has passed every protein identification test. The confusing part of that is, that biologically Phyta should be able to digest all material, not just inorganic. The enzymes Phyta produces would be effective against other plants and animals, however, Phyta does not consume them. It seems as though Phyta is choosing not to eat them. In addition to this, Phyta’s original bud has a contemporary. A second bud flowered and they both have moved to the center of the tank. The vines that were previously discussed seem to be shielding the stems of the flowers. Note that Phyta is doing this without a nervous system, so the method by which Phyta moves is entirely unknown. The importance of the two flowers also alludes me. My leading conclusion is that the flowers will soon release pollen allowing for Phyta to reproduce. This would explain a protective instinct within the vines, but would not answer why Phyta has only produced two flowers. End Recording

~Doctor; jokingly~

You know Phyta if you just want to tell me the answer I wouldn’t mind. I’d welcome any hints into your biology. No? You still haven’t grown vocal cords? Don’t worry I can talk for both of us. You’re my best experiment Phyta. So smart. When the consortium sees you I won’t even have to talk. Your value will speak for itself.

{timeskip}

~Doctor; excited~

Begin Log, Day Fifty-Five. I’ve been so confused about the purpose of the flowers and now it all makes sense! Phyta has been focusing most consumed materials on growing vines around the flowers for the past twenty days. I thought that maybe it was a defense response to a larger predator but it was something else entirely. Phyta has shaped a rudimentary head out of the vines and aligned the flowers in them to mimic eyes. The moss bed has covered the mass making a sort of hair. Phyta is trying to appear human! End Recording

{timeskip}

~Doctor; trying to remain professional~

Begin Log, Day Sixty-Two. After just a week of having a head, Phyta has learned to nod. Of course, being less than a year old Phyta often gets confused, but that just leads to the most interesting observation. When confused or sadden, Phyta wilts slightly. Not only does this prove an emotional response, but the best way I’ve found to comfort Phyta is a repetitive light touch. Phyta is responding to human emotion and seems to have imprinted on me as a caretaker. Even if Phyta wasn’t the perfect garbage disposal, they’d still be the second most intelligent creature on Earth. I know the Consortium will lose it when they see this! End Recording

~Doctor; overjoyed~

I think you’ll be ready very soon Phyta! We’ll get you in a bigger tank, then we’ll ride to the Consortium.

[In one breath, becoming frantic]

[We can’t fly, you might respond negatively to high altitude, but I don’t care how long it takes to drive there. When they see you, they’ll finally see I was right and they’ll…]

*deep breath*

Why are you shaking your head? Phyta this is everything, why not?

*Phyta attempts communication*

Phyta, I love you but you still can’t talk, and I don’t know what that weird blinking means.

*pause*

Alright, I’ll try to figure it out just calm down. I’ll ask questions one at a time so you can answer. Ready?

~Doctor; slowly and pronounced~

Answer my questions one at a time.

Is the Consortium bad?

*nods*

Why do you think the Consortium is bad?

~Doctor; quickly~

Wait, you can’t answer that. Uh

~Doctor; slow again~

Have you met the Consortium?

*shakes*

~Doctor; to themself~

Of course, you haven’t you live in a box, so

~Doctor; enunciating~

Phyta, I have met the Consortium, I used to be one of them before they kicked me out. And I know they would take me back now that I have you.

*shakes*

~Doctor; forgetting to speak slowly~

Why are you shaking your head. I know they’d take me back. They kicked me out because they didn’t think you’d work and you do. You haven’t hurt a fly but you’re great at eating waste. Why haven’t you hurt a fly anyway? How do you know what’s organic? Can you actually see through those flowers? Do you have receptors of some sort?

Do you…

*Phyta shuts down*

~Doctor; kindly~

Oh! I’m so sorry. That was too many questions, too fast. Here, if I pet you a little will you calm down?

*nods*

~Doctor; softly~

There there.

*petting Phyta*

It’s going to be okay. You’ll be nice and secure in a new tank. I’ll make sure you have plenty of plastic, I know that’s your favorite. And when we get to the Consortium they’ll welcome you with open arms.

*Phyta shakes head*

~Doctor; realizing~

Do you think they won’t like you? Is that the problem, Phyta?

*Phyta nods*

~Doctor; trails off~

No, they’ll love you. Since I love you, and… and

*pause*

~Doctor; thinking to themself~

When that intern made a conscious A.I. the consortium shut them down. And they didn’t seem to like my waste collection idea to begin with. Phyta’s right. They wouldn’t like this. They’d probably explode on me for doing this. And who knows what effect that may have on Phyta… Come to think of it, Phyta has never really been angry with me. But something like that might set them off… If light sadness made them wilt I wonder…

~Doctor; attempting to placate~

Hey Phyta. I think you’re right. We shouldn’t go to the Consortium. You should just sit still and enjoy your pets.

*Phyta displays happiness*

~Doctor; nervous~

Phyta… something still confuses me. You have never eaten anything organic your whole life, have you?

*Phyta nods*

But you could if you wanted to. You know that, right?

*pause*

So if you always could eat the meat and fruits I give you, but you didn’t, then there must be a reason behind that, right?

*Phyta nods*

~Doctor; no longer worried~

*sigh of relief*

Good. I was worried that maybe you just didn’t know you could probably eat me.

*Phyta shakes head*

~Doctor; confused~

You just shook your head. Why did you just shake your head?

*pause*

Are you saying you could eat me?

*shakes head*

So you saying you couldn’t eat me. But you could. Scientifically speaking you’re capable and…

*plant sounds*

~Doctor; mild panic~

Phyta? Phyta what are you doing? You’re shaking a lot and… Oh god. You’re getting out of the tank. Ooh, I shouldn’t have told you, now I’m going to get eaten.

~Doctor; panicked, hyperventilating~

Phyta, you know I love you.

*backing up*

And you don’t have to do this.

*plant sounds*

*doctor gasps*

~Doctor; amazed through the panic~

Oh wow! You grew legs! I guess all the aluminum foil was being saved for this. I’m so proud you grew so big, and strong, and…

~Doctor; returned to panic~

And probably very hungry.

*Doctor gulps*

Phyta, I always loved you. You’re basically what my entire career was building to so if you’re going to eat me then fine. Just please, do it quick.

*Doctor closes eyes and braces*

*Phyta kisses Doctor*

~Doctor; no longer panicked~

Phyta? That wasn’t really eating me that seemed more like… No, I’m going crazy there is no way you just kissed me. I must be…

*kiss interrupts speech*

~Doctor; speaking with little breathe~

Phyta. I had no idea you felt like this. We shouldn't even be doing this, I’m the only living thing you’ve ever really met and I’ve kept you contained your whole life. You don’t love me, you’re just confused. I should let you go, wait, I can’t you might be violent or maybe you won’t stop growing and eat Earth or…

*Phyta hugs Doctor and pets their head*

~Doctor; calming~

Phyta are you trying to make me feel better?

*Phyta nods*

I guess I was getting confused and saddened. The petting does help, I see why you like it.

*pause*

So, you definitely don’t plan to eat me?

*Phyta shakes head*

Thank you so much Phyta. You are the best thing I’ve had the pleasure of making. We don’t have to go to the Consortium or anyone else. As long as I have you, I’ll be happy.

​

{Anyone can use this audio for any means fiscal or otherwise. A credit as SplashiestPig would be cool but it's not like I'll sue or anything.}