Hey everyone. So as the title says, i wanted, to post this incase my original post/mention gets drowned in the abyss, never to be seen again. Link to the original post/origin of vent. Down below will be a copy paste of a message I wrote towards the bottom of that script.

Okay, before I start, I just want to say thanks for taking the time to read this.

So, it’s been about 7 months since I became a script writer for this little community, I first started back in early July of last year, but some time afterwards, depression had hit me pretty hard and I ultimately took down a lot of the original work that I wrote, but I had gotten better and I came back in September bringing more script ideas and the continuation of my “Super-villain takes you in” series until completion by the end of the month.

Well, a lot has happened since then, and I’ve learned a lot. A fair amount at least anyway. And let me tell you, I never, in a million years expected to get the attention those scripts have gotten me. The only reason I started this little journey was because I became inspired and saw a growing need to create ASMR RPs that could break the social norm, play around with various clichés and tropes, or interesting, original concepts that were never really conceded before. Next thing I know, I found myself with a hobby that I truly enjoyed and wanted to put time and effort into improving.

But even with the positive pros that came with me, there was one major con that never left. Depression. Even as I write this. I still struggle with it. You see, I was always taught to humble thyself and to never let your pride get the better of you (A value/lesson I still hang onto) but of course, because I was taught this lesson so intuitively and instinctively, this has cause me to raise others up, while keeping myself down. I’m not a perfectionist by any means, it’s just that when I see my own work compared to everyone else’s. I feel like I’m not special, good enough even. Yeah, good enough, that’s what I always tell myself. I’m just good enough, average, make the mark but not excel it.

And because I seem to devalue my own work when I see everyone seemingly being uplifted or even gaining a sort of high from their accomplishment, I become jealous, envious, and this jealousy and envy instantly converts into self-deprecation.

So that raises the question, “Why am I telling you all this?” I don’t know, I guess I have a bad habit of keeping these demons bottled up inside me. I am strongly introverted IRL. I will constantly keep to myself and will hardly approach anyone/ make the first move. Let alone talk to them unless they speak to me first. I guess I need this as an outlet to vent.

Trust me, I’m not the type of person who would unleash this jealousy and envy to spite and spread harm to other people for their success. I will destroy myself and my accomplishments first before that could even take a second to happen. With that said, I want to congratulate all the script writers mentioned above, as well as the VAs who manage to find some form of success in this little community. And I wanted to shout out to everyone else who may not have been mentioned here as well.

With that said, What about me? What will I do now? Well let me go ahead and tell you. NO! This will not be the end of me and my ASMR RP script writing days. The Swans haven’t sung my song just yet. However, I will once again be taking a break starting the month of February. You may have noticed a recurring pattern here. I stop posting scripts for a month, then come back and post what I have written during that month I was away. I honestly may stick to this, since it gives me more time to focus on what I am actually writing, and not stress about getting it out as planned/scheduled.

With that said, I don’t know when I’ll be back. But I do know that I should be grateful for everything that has transpired thus far, and not self-deprecate/down-play my small victories that I myself have managed to achieve. I could have just been writing scripts that no-one dared to touch, or even bat an eye. But boy was I wrong. I’ve met so many people online because of this little hobby. Even though I may never get to know them on a personal level. So I just wanted to say. To all the scriptwriters, VAs, viewers/readers/listeners big, and small. Thank you. Thank you so much for everything. And if you ever find yourself in a mental situation such as myself, I hope this odd ball of a script can help remind you in some way that you are not alone. And never, ever, truly will be.

Well, I think I’ve gotten out everything I wanted (and hopefully needed) to say. See you all….when I see you. Oh, and don’t worry when I get back, if anyone needs a script series. Just know. That I'll be that guy. Trust me. I think you’re going to like what comes next!

~From the oddball that is this scriptwriter, Brandon P.

(Exotailx3)

P.s: I think I’ll leave this vent here this time. As both a future reference to myself, and to any upcoming script writers.