Realized I hadn't shared anything in a little while, so here's the script for my very first audio. I'm caught up in other writing projects at the moment, but I'd like to share some original scripts here soon, as well. As always, monetization is fine, just please credit me, and have fun!

***

Hey. [scratching door]

Hey. [scratching door]

Hey, lemme in. [scratching door]

[door opens]

Finally. What’s that on your desk? You’re studying? [-] Why aren’t you sleeping instead? It’s 8:30 at night, and I gotta get up at 1.

What do you mean, “what do I have to do at 1 am”? Cat things, obviously. You wouldn’t get it, you’re not nocturnal.

You mind if I crash in here? Your bed is softer. Yeah, thanks.

[pause]

Hey, I can’t sleep. Tell me what you’re studying. [-] Oh really? What are you gonna do with that? There a lot of work in that field? [-] Oh. Sounds like you have a plan, then.

What am I studying? Nothing. College is expensive. [-] What do I do all day? Sleep, obviously. Nocturnal, remember? [-] Of course I have a job. What do you think I do all night?

“Run around the apartment and break stuff?” Oh please, I haven’t broken anything. Tell me about work. Your boss still an asshole?

Oh, he’s not, is he? Isn’t he always rude to his employees? And doesn’t he take hour long breaks and leave like two people to look after the whole store? And he has four dogs. Sounds like an asshole to me. Can’t trust someone with that many dogs.

You should get a new job. This one doesn’t make you happy.

Well, if the pay is that good…

[something being pushed across a surface until it falls]

What? It didn’t break.

I pull my weight just fine. My part of the rent is always paid on time, right? Right. The bills get paid, right? Right. And I don’t actually break your stuff.

What do you mean, “it’s the principle of the thing”? I can’t even touch your stuff? It’s my apartment too, isn’t it? [-] I do wash my hands. They’re probably cleaner than yours, really. [-] Alright, I’ll ask your permission next time, before I push your toy plane off your desk. I’m sorry.

I do not shed everywhere. Maybe a bit in the summer and that’s it. [pillow shaking sound] Hey, why are you shaking your pillow around like that? [-] Oh. Well, it can’t be my hair, it’s not my pil- oh, it is my hair. How did that get there…

For real this time, I’m going to sleep now. I gotta be up in a few hours.

[sleeping/breathing]

[purring]

[mumbling in sleep, rising into a surprised yelp]

Hey, what the hell? How many times have I told you not to touch my ears? Seriously, what’s with humans always touching people’s ears? It’s like your first instinct on seeing a non-human. “Hold on, I gotta go screw with that person’s sensory organs!” And you complain about me touching stuff.

[-] Sorry, it’s because I’m what? It’s because I’m cute? Yeah, obviously, I’m a neko. Being pretty and graceful and dignified is kind of our thing. Like how tugging on people’s ears is apparently yours.

I’m torn right now. Your bed is so much nicer, but I don’t trust you not to start pulling on me again.

I’d be able to afford a nice bed too if I had a job, would I? I do have a job, though. [-] Yeah, I do, I’m a lifestyle blogger. I write for a website about the curiosities and tribulations of being a non-human in a human-majority city. [-] Yes, it is a real job, it pays. [-] No, I’m not telling you how much. Like I said, the rent is always paid, isn’t it?

No, actually, I don’t like it. It’s not actually that much different here from my hometown. Well, aside from one’s a city and one’s a town. It was a bit weird the first few weeks, you know, job hunting, looking for a flat. I’ve told you about that, right? [-] Yeah, just a lot of places didn’t want to hire a neko, or rent to one. Apparently people might be allergic to me if my hair got everything. I had to sleep on a buddy’s couch for a while, then I found that blog while looking for work.

Once I moved in with you though, things smoothed out. Nobody seems to mind me- provided they don’t have to hire me, apparently- so there’s not much to talk about anymore. I end up just making shit up half the time. Don’t tell anyone.

What, you don’t believe me? Alright, here’s the website. See? There’s my name under that article, and that one, and- scroll down- that one. There’s more, too. Part of me wants to keep bullshitting them- it’s decent money for work that lets me sit around the apartment being pretty- but I also didn’t plan on being a creative writer. So, I’ve started looking for a new job. Not anything too menial. These claws are too well-manicured to be sweeping or stocking shelves.

So why’d you choose your field of study? [-] Is that so? Aren’t you full of surprises. [chuckles] Fair enough.

Alright, I’m serious this time. I gotta sleep. Yeah, I’m gonna do it here. You don’t look like you’re stopping any time soon. But, ah, don’t touch my ears this time, pervert. Good night.

[sleeping breaths, then purring a moment later]