Part 1 Part 2

Summary: You’ve settled in well amongst the members of Rowan’s oddball family. One day, as you and Rowan tackle a mountain of laundry down at the stream, they gradually begin to open up to you, revealing how they came to be kicked out of their guild. As the trust between you two builds, other feelings also start to bloom. However, an unexpected appearance from your stepparent may just bring your newfound happiness crashing down.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: All characters are written as gender-neutral. Wherever there is a pronoun in bolded brackets [like this], the VAs can insert the pronouns suitable to their rendition of the script. For example, if Rowan is played by a male, you can insert “him” instead of “them” where appropriate, etc. Also, despite the way this part ends, the Listener doesn’t actually die--stay tuned for Part 4 for a twist! :)

CW: descriptions of abuse; stabbing

Characters:

• Rowan (any gender): A hunter and a former member of a thieves’ guild. Sassy, sarcastic, devil-may-care, yet with a heart of gold. As they grow closer to the Listener, they’re starting to fall for them.
• Monarch (any gender): The equivalent of the evil queen. Proud, cunning, manipulative, and cruel. Stole the throne from the Listener, and is desperate to keep it. Has discovered where the Listener is hiding, and shows up to put an end to them, once and for all.

Usage:

• OK to record & monetize, as long as you give me credit in the video/audio description as the scriptwriter! I would also love to listen to the recording when it’s done–please send me the link on Reddit! Paywalling is okay; however, if you paywall, you must make it possible for me to listen to the finished product.
• Gender-flipping and small tweaks are okay (e.g., changing pronouns, leaving out/changing curse words), but no large edits are permitted.
• Feel free to use music or insert sound effects if you’d like. Any sound effects given are suggestions–use at your discretion. *Sound effects in bold, set apart by asterisks\*
• Any dialogue or reactions given by the Listener are purely for the benefit of the VA, to help them feel like they have something to respond to while they’re acting. Listener reactions in italics.
• Please let me know if you have any questions!

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\running stream; ambient forest noises\**

\thump of something heavy being set down\**

\groans in pain** Ugh…man, I forgot how much laundry seven people make. You get captured for a couple of days, and you come back to a basket piled as high as the North Mountain.

The Listener sets their basket down beside him.

Damn—you barely even broke a sweat. How’d you manage to carry yours so easily???

[...]

Fair enough. I guess you’d be used to it, after working for your [stepmother/stepfather/stepparent] for so long. Wish I could say the same…my shoulders are gonna be killing me tomorrow.

[...]

Some healing tea? (surprised at their thoughtfulness) Oh, uh—sure. I mean, you don’t have to, but I won’t turn it down. Not gonna lie, you’re a really good cook. That stew you made last night was incredible—even Gunther cleaned his bowl.

[...]

Huh? Oh, no; it’s fine. We can take our time. I know he was all like (mimics a gruff dwarf voice) “Don’t you dare be dilly-dallying down by the stream all day!” But that’s just how he is. Ordering people around is his love language. He might talk big, but he’s all bark and no bite. Besides, he already adores you.

[...]

Oh, yeah. He told you the story of how he caused the cave-in, right? Once you hear that, you're practically best friends. Just be warned—you’re definitely gonna hear it again. Many times.

[...]

Of course he does. They all do. To be honest, I’m impressed. It’s barely been a month, but somehow, you’ve managed to turn them all into your best friends. The twins were even asking me last night if you could stay forever. (joking) It's almost as if like they like you better than me.

[...]

(joking) Jealous? Pfft—nah. Who needs your natural charm? I’ve got other ways of getting what I need, even if they’re not exactly legal.

[...]

\snorts** Shut up. We both know I’m about as charming as one of Ugg’s after-dinner belches.

[...]

Yeah, he’s a giant. Well, technically. You can see why he ended up with us. It’s not every day you meet a so-called giant who’s shorter than me.

[...]

Yeah, poor guy. His tribe kicked him out for being a runt. Then again, most of us have a similar story. Selene, the voiceless siren; Lapis, the fairy with no magic. Then there's the twins—their parents abandoned them in the woods, and they almost got eaten by some witch in a candy house.

[...]

I know, right? Creepy. But anyway—besides them, there’s Gunther, our grumpy ex-miner dwarf, and me. A bunch of misfits and rogues, living in an abandoned roadside tavern, pretending to be a family. Weird, huh?

[...]

Heh, thanks. To be honest, though, I don’t really care what anyone else says. Not that there are a lot of people around to judge us, way out here in the woods, but anyway. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. \chuckle* (joking)* Ugh, just listen to me—you’ve got me sounding sappier than a maple tree. Thank the gods Gunther’s not around…he’d never let me hear the end of it. He already thinks I like you—he doesn't need any more reason to—

[...]

What? (realizes what they just said; stammering) Oh, crap. I—no, I—I didn't—! I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, maybe that’s what he thinks, but obviously he’s just imagining things.

[...]

Shut up! I am not bright red! \groans** Ugh...dammit. Can we please just forget that ever happened!? Even if it were true, there’s no way you’d wanna be with someone like me. I’m the biggest misfit of them all.

[...]

\hollow laugh** I guess, compared to the rest of them, it’s not as obvious. But what else would you call a thief with no guild? I mean, it’s my own damn fault I’m not with them anymore, but still.

[...]

(reluctant; uncomfortable) I dunno. It’s a…it’s a long story. I don’t wanna bore you.

[...]

Thanks, but—I—I dunno. Let’s just focus on getting the damn laundry done.

\sounds of water splashing, rinsing, scrubbing\**

Hey—what’s that on your arm?

[...]

That mark. When you rolled up your sleeve, I couldn’t help but notice. Is it a tattoo?

[...]

Since you were little? Huh—interesting. From this angle, it kind of reminds me of a snowflake. Does it mean anything?

The Listener evades their questions, becoming uncomfortable.

(taken aback) Oh, uh—okay. Sorry; I didn’t mean—never mind. It's okay—we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.

[...]

It reminds you of your mother? Oh...that's really sweet. I’m glad you’ve got something to remember her by. Wish my own mark had some good memories attached to it.

[...]

(giving in) Yeah. They give it to you as soon as you join the guild. I was so proud when I first got it…I thought I’d finally made it big. I was actually a member of the Grey Arrows. Now, though…it’s just a reminder of my own failure.

[...]

I guess you could say that. Though, I don’t know if “kicked out” is the right word…more like I’m on their hit list. If they find me, I’m dead.

[...]

I…betrayed them. We were planning to rob a grain shipment that was going to a far-out village, which had been hit by a recent flood. It’s not like we were hungry, or anything—Thornfell just wanted to grab it, so we could sell it at a mark-up. But it didn't—it didn’t feel right to me. Those people—they needed the grain for the winter. So I...I tipped off the local guard, in secret.

[...]

Yeah. I’ll never know how Thornfell found out it was me, but either way, I was lucky to escape with my hide. \sigh** So there you have it. Now do you see why I’m here, with the others? Where else can I go? I’m too much of a thief to be part of the regular world…the Arrows’ mark saw to that. But I’m not a good enough thief to be part of the bandit world, either. I’m just a gods-damned misfit…nothing more.

[...]

Well, yeah, I know I did the right thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

[...]

What? Brave? But—

[...]

*sigh* ...Alright, fine. When you put it that way, yeah—I guess doing the right thing does take courage. Even if it totally screws you over in the end.

The Listener defends Rowan, saying that they never should have been punished for doing the right thing—the Arrows were the ones in the wrong!

(touched) Uh…thanks. Wow, I…I can’t remember the last time anyone stood up for me, outside of our group. Everyone else told me I was a fool...they said I’d basically thrown my life away, all for the sake of some villagers I’d never even met. Deep down, I know that they're the ones who should feel guilty...but hearing you say it—that really means a lot. (slight pause) You, uh—you know the same goes for you, right?

[...]

Well, duh. You didn’t deserve what happened, with your [stepmother/stepfather/stepparent]. [They] were your guardian—[they] were supposed to protect you! The way [they] turned on you, making you into a slave, and then trying to kill you—it's sickening. I know it’s easy to blame yourself—I mean, just look at me. But I promise, none of it is your fault. I’m—I’m really sorry for the part that I played, too. You know, back when I attacked you, in the woods. I never should've agreed to help that [bastard/witch] in the first place. I don’t blame you if you’re angry with me.

[...]

No hard feelings? Come on. Are you serious?

[...]

Damn…you’re a better person than me. Thanks, Snow.

[...]

Snow? Oh, I dunno. I thought it'd be good for you to have a codename, just in case. It seemed fitting, with the shape of your mark. (playful, teasing) If you don’t like it, though, that’s fine—we can go with something else. Maybe “Birdbrain”?

[...]

\laugh** Okay, okay. Snow it is. But seriously…thanks for listening. I’m…I’m really glad you’re here with us. And not just because you're an amazing cook, or because you can lift eighty-seven pounds of laundry, or anything like that. I've never met anyone so kind, or so brave. When you're around...I dunno. Things just seem so much brighter.

Romantic-tension-filled pause.

Uh...oh, shoot; looks like we’re out of soap. I’m, uh—I’m gonna run back to the tavern real quick. Do you need anything?

[...]

Okay. I’ll be right back. Try not to get too distracted by your feathered friends in the trees, okay?

\splashing sound\**

\splutters; laughs** Okay, okay; fine! See you in a bit.

\footsteps fading away\**

Pause, before the King/Queen/Monarch (Q) suddenly appears behind the Listener.

Q: \evil laugh** Well, well. What do we have here?

The Listener scrambles up.

Q: Oh, my pet. Don’t act so surprised. Did you really think you’d managed to escape me? You should know better than to think I’d let you get away.

“How did you find me!?”

Q: I have my ways. You forget, I am the [king/queen/monarch]. I have power beyond your wildest dreams. And now, not only have I managed to find you, but that pathetic excuse for a thief, as well. I suppose fools of a feather flock together.

[...]

Q: Oh, don’t worry, my pet. [They’ll] pay for [their] crimes in due time. (sinister) But for now…I think it’s high time I finish what I started. Say goodnight, my pet!

\stabbing sound, as the Monarch stabs the Listener\**

\thud, as the Listener collapses\**

Q: \evil laugh** There! Let’s see that mirror call you the “greatest” now. Farewell, you worthless brat. Tell your dear Father I send my love.