Part 1

Summary: You can’t remember the last time you saw your stepparent show mercy. Yet now, they’ve asked you to escort the thief home. As the two of you make your way through the forest, they reluctantly introduce themselves as Rowan. Despite their stand-offish attitude, you do your best to make them feel comfortable, while enjoying the chance to be outside in the fresh air. Little do you know, however, there’s a far more sinister plot at work.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: All characters are written as gender-neutral. Wherever there is a pronoun in bolded brackets [like this], the VAs can insert the pronouns suitable to their rendition of the script. For example, if Rowan is played by a male, you can insert “him” instead of “them” where appropriate; if the queen is played by a female, you can substitute "queen" and "her" where appropriate, etc.

CW: mild violence, threats, dagger-to-throat situation, discussion of manipulation/blackmail, a few mild curse words

Characters:

• Rowan (any gender): A hunter and a former member of a thieves’ guild. Sassy, sarcastic, devil-may-care, yet secretly has a heart of gold. They’ve accepted a deal from the evil monarch: if they kill the Listener, the monarch will let them go free. However, as much as they’re trying to be cold-hearted about it, they feel sick at the prospect.
• Monarch (any gender): The equivalent of the evil queen. Proud, cunning, manipulative, and cruel. Stole the throne from the Listener, and desperately wants to keep it. Has blackmailed Rowan into killing the Listener, in exchange for freedom. Consults their magic mirror, in order to get its reassurance that they are the greatest in the land.
• Magic Mirror (any gender): An ethereal being imprisoned in a mirror. The evil monarch sold their soul to this being in exchange for magic/power, but then trapped the being in a mirror in order to get out of their part of the deal. The mirror always speaks in rhyme, and is compelled by magic to always tell the truth, even if it proves dangerous for someone else.

Usage:

• OK to record & monetize, as long as you give me credit in the video/audio description as the scriptwriter! I would also love to listen to the recording when it’s done–please send me the link on Reddit! Paywalling is okay; however, if you paywall, you must make it possible for me to listen to the finished product.
• Gender-flipping and small tweaks are okay (e.g., changing pronouns, leaving out/changing curse words), but no large edits are permitted.
• Feel free to use music or insert sound effects if you’d like. Any sound effects given are suggestions–use at your discretion. *Sound effects in bold, set apart by asterisks\*
• Any dialogue or reactions given by the Listener are purely for the benefit of the VA, to help them feel like they have something to respond to while they’re acting. Listener reactions in italics.
• Please let me know if you have any questions!

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SETTING: The forest. The thief, Rowan, is walking along, the Listener at their side. The Listener has been told by the evil monarch to escort Rowan home. However, behind the scenes, the monarch made a deal with Rowan: if Rowan puts an end to the Listener, they go free. Rowan is trying to work up the courage to fulfill their part of the bargain.

\ambient forest sounds\**

\footsteps\**

(no-nonsense; they’ve got a job to do) This way. Come on, keep up. It’s not much farther.

“I didn’t think anyone lived this deep in the forest.”

Well, we can’t all live in cushy castles, can we? The forest may not be ideal, but it’s got its perks.

“Such as?”

Huh? Oh. Well—I dunno. There’s fewer people around to bother you, for one thing. And there’s food, if you know how to find it. And if you don’t have guards on your a**, enforcing stupid laws that say you can’t hunt.

“I never got the chance to ask—are you okay?”

Am I...okay? What do you mean?

“The guards were pretty rough with you back there, in the throne room.”

(awkward; not used to people caring about them) Oh. Uh, yeah, I’m fine. I mean, it’s not like the guards were gentle, but I’ve had worse. Thornfell could teach them a thing or two about punishment.

“Who’s Thornfell?”

Thornfell? He's the leader of the Grey Arrows. It doesn’t really matter, though—I’m not with them anymore. The [king/queen/monarch] had that much wrong, at least.

“How’d you convince the king/queen/monarch to let you go? I can’t remember the last time they showed mercy to anyone.”

Why’d [they] let me go? (evasive) Oh, uh…it, it was just—it was just a technicality. I never actually shot anything, while I was hunting, so [Their] Majesty said [they'd] let me off, just this once.

“Well, I’m really glad you’re okay.”

Uh….thanks. Why do you care so much?

“Why shouldn’t I? Isn’t that what a good ruler does? Care about their people?”

True, I guess that is what a good ruler does. You should try telling that to [Their] Majesty. It’s not like you royals really need the deer, after all. Us peasants, meanwhile, some of us actually need to hunt in order to live.

“So that’s why you were poaching?”

Yeah. What, you think I just do it for sport? It's for my family. If I don’t hunt, then they don’t eat. I’m not about to just sit by and watch them starve.

“I’m sorry.”

Thanks, I guess. I mean, being sorry doesn’t really fix anything, but…whatever. Thanks anyway.

“What’s your name?”

My name? Oh, uh…you—you don’t need to know. It’s not like we’ll be seeing each other again, after today.

“Please. I—what if I want to make sure you’re alright, in the future? Maybe I can help your family.”

Okay, okay; fine. It’s Rowan. Like the tree.

“Rowan. It’s nice to meet you.”

\sigh** Did I mention that another perk of living in the woods is that you almost never need to make awkward small talk with strangers? Unless, of course, the queen assigns you a completely unnecessary escort home.

“Oh, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

(resigned) No, no; it’s fine. Might as well follow [Their] Majesty’s orders. I don’t need to make myself an even bigger enemy of the crown. Now, keep up. And stay close! The last thing you want is to be lost in these woods after—

The Listener suddenly points out a bird in a nearby tree.

—What? (sees) Oh. Uh...yeah, it’s a bird. Is that surprising?

"It's beautiful!"

Uh…sure, I guess it’s pretty. Now, come on. We gotta—

"What kind is it? Do you know?"

—What kind? I dunno. A blue one?

"No, but look--it's got some white and pink, too. See its belly?"

(unimpressed) Okay, fine, but it’s still mostly blue, isn't it? What difference does it make?

"I don't know. I just thought you might know, since you—"

Look, just because I live here, it doesn’t mean I know the name of every type of beetle and bunny and whatever!

"Wait—listen! Can you hear it? Just listen to that song!"

(impatient) Yeah, yeah, sure; it’s a beautiful little bird with a beautiful song. Now come on! You think I’ve got time to be standing around here listening to birds all day? Whoa, whoa, hey; watch your—!

\thud, as the Listener trips over a tree root, falling to the ground\**

—step. \sigh** See, that’s why you want to be looking at your feet, and not at the trees. Here—let me give you a hand.

\grunt, as they help the Listener to their feet\**

Don’t thank me. Just watch where you’re going from now on. I swear, it’s like this is the first time Your Highness has taken walk in the woods.

The Listener confesses that it’s been awhile.

Yeah, I can tell it's been awhile. What’s the matter? Too many fancy balls to attend?

“No, I—I usually have a lot of chores to do.”

Chores? What kind of chores are we talking about? You mean, like, embroidering pillows, or something?

“No. I do things like scrubbing the floors, serving meals, doing the laundry…whatever Their Majesty wants me to do.”

What? Are you serious? Wait—then, when you were scrubbing the floors, back in the throne room—that wasn’t a one-time thing?

The Listener shakes their head. "I'm basically nothing more than a servant."

What the hell!? That makes no sense! You’re the heir to the throne! Why would [they] treat you like a servant!?

“They say it’s too much responsibility for me. They say I’m lucky to be where I am, living a simple life.”

“Sparing you the responsibility of ruling?” Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you actually believe that!? They’re just trying to keep you off the throne! How long has this been going on?

“I don’t remember. Ever since Father died.”

Since you lost your father??? Gods...I’m sorry. He was a good king. He’d never have made it illegal to hunt, or anything like that. I wish—well, anyway. I'm sorry.

Pause.

Um—by the way, for what it’s worth, thanks for, you know...stepping in back there. When the guards first brought me to the [king/queen/monarch]. If it weren’t for you…I might not even be here right now.

“It’s the least I could do. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to be queen, but if I do, I promise, I’ll be just as good of a ruler as my father was. I’ll repeal all those stupid laws. You’ll be able to hunt to your heart’s content.”

(soft, with chagrin…remembers their mission is to put an end the Listener) Well, uh, that—that would be great. I mean, if it ever happens. It’d be nice not to have to worry about getting arrested, just for trying not to starve. (serious) Believe me, though, [Their] Majesty’s not gonna let their throne go so easily. If you knew how far they were willing to go to—well, never mind. Still, wanting to rule like your father—it's a good goal.

The Listener’s brow furrows. “Are you alright?”

Huh? Yeah, I—I’m fine. Come on—we’ve gotta get going. It’s gonna be dark soon.

\footsteps\**

Hey, look—up there, on that branch. Is that the same sort of bird, from earlier?

The Listener looks. “I don’t see it. Where?”

Over there. Can’t you see it? Keep looking.

Brief pause, before Rowan pulls out a dagger, holding it to the Listener’s throat.

\dagger being unsheathed\**

Don’t move. It’ll only be worse if you do.

“What!? Rowan, what are you—!?”

Shut up! You hear me!? Don’t say anything!

The Listener falls silent, trembling.

Look, I’m sorry. It’s the only way!

“Please,” the Listener whispers. “Please, don’t!”

I said, shut up! You think I want to do this!? If you’re gonna blame anyone, blame [Their] Majesty. [They’re] the one who offered me the deal! If I put an end to you, [they’ll] let me go.

“What!?”

Don’t act so surprised! I told you, [they] won’t give up [their] throne so easily! I can’t just abandon my family. They need me! So just shut up, and don’t move!

“I’m sorry.”

What!? Wait—you’re sorry!? What do you—!?

“You shouldn’t have been forced into this.”

I shouldn’t have been forced into this? I—what’re you—? Grrrrr; come on! Don’t think you can talk your way out of this!

“Can I—can I just say one more thing?”

Fine! One more thing. But that's it; understand!? These are your last words.

“When I’m gone…promise me you’ll find a way to bring down the [king/queen/ruler].”

Find a way to…bring [them] down? You mean the [king/queen/monarch]!?

“Please. The people don’t deserve to keep suffering like this. If—if I won’t be around to help…then promise me you’ll do it.”

(sputters for a few moments) Wha—I—yeah, sure; whatever. I’ll—I’ll help the people in your stead.

“Thank you.” The Listener closes their eyes, tilting their head back. “Please—just do it fast.”

Y-yeah, okay, I’ll make it quick. Close your eyes. Three…two…

Pause, before Rowan gives a frustrated cry.

\clang/clattering of metal, as Rowan throws their dagger away\**

Aaaaargh! Dammit. Dammit!

“Rowan!? What’re you—are you okay?”

NO! Why did you have to make this so hard!? You were supposed to be just another selfish, stuck-up royal, like the [king/queen/monarch]! I thought—I mean, I didn’t think it’d be easy, but I never thought you’d be so…aaaargh! Gods damn it all, I can’t. I can’t!

“You’re…you’re not going to kill me!?”

No. Gods, I can’t do anything right! First thieving, then poaching…I guess it fits that I’d fail at being an assassin, too. Great. Just great.

“So…what are you going to do now?”

What am I gonna do? Well, assuming the [king/queen/monarch] is anything like Thornfell when it comes to forgiving a failure, I’m gonna take my family, and hide like a mouse in the wall. I’d be more worried about you, though. I was just an means to an end—you’re the one [they're] really after. And when I don’t come back with your body, [they’ll] know you’re still alive.

“What if we used some sort of ruse?

Some sort of...ruse? What do you mean?

"What if we brought them something like an animal’s heart, and claimed it was mine?”

(mildly impressed) Huh. That’s actually not a bad idea…but I don’t think we have time. I’m expected back at the castle by nightfall. Besides, even if we could find an animal, like a pig, I don’t know if the [king/queen/monarch] would be satisfied with just a heart. (considers for a moment) Look—why don’t you come with me?

“Wait--come with you!?”

Well, yeah. You clearly don’t know how to survive out here. If I just leave you here, you’re either gonna starve to death, or get eaten by some sort of wild beast. Besides, if you’re clever enough to think of faking your own death, who knows? You may be useful.

“Thank you!”

Hah—I doubt you’ll be saying that after you meet my family. Well, when I say "family", we’re not blood-related…more like a gang of misfits that just sort of found each other. But still, they’re more family to me than anyone’s ever been.

“I can’t wait.”

\chuckle** You’ve been warned. Come on—I meant what I said earlier, about not wanting to be lost in these woods after dark. Here—follow my lead. And for gods’ sake, watch your feet. If you sprain your ankle, I’m sure as hell not carrying you.

\footsteps\**

----------------Scene 2---------------

SETTING: The castle. The king/queen/monarch (Q) is pacing back and forth before their mirror (M).

Q: \frustrated noise*…Where *are [they]? What could possibly be taking so long!? You couldn’t find an easier target in the whole kingdom. So soft, so trusting—their heart would be easier to pierce than a feather pillow! (realizes they may have been betrayed) What if…no. Surely not. (to the Mirror) Slave within the silver glass, tell me what shall come to pass!

​

\Magic noise\**

​

Q: Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

Who is the greatest one of all?

​

M: To thine renown, none can compare,

and yet, I fear you must despair.

For there is still one, kind and true

Whose greatness far surpasses you.

​

Q: NO! Impossible! How could they be—!? Aaaaargh! That pathetic excuse for a thief! No matter…[they’ll] get what’s coming to [them]. But first, you’ll kindly tell me where that precious little pretender is.

​

M: Deep within the forest’s glade,

Untouched by the hunter’s blade,

Within the Lucky Draw's old hall,

They dwell, the greatest one of all.

​

Q: The Lucky Draw? Some sort of run-down tavern, no doubt. Hmm…interesting. (sinister) Well…it seems if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.