Context: You knew he'd leave when your world came crashing down. Your husband had shown frustration at your lack of energy for years by the time you found him in bed with another woman. You divorced, and tried to move on with the knowledge you hold secret... but you know he'll find out sooner or later.

Setting: A therapist's office

Tags:[MM4F][Lovers to Exes][Therapist Speaker][Remorseful Ex-Husband Speaker][Shutdown Ex-Wife Listener][Therapy][HARD Angst][Trauma][Accident/Injury][Jealous][TW: Mentions of Infidelity/Divorce/Emotional Affair][CW: Family Drama]

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[T] = A Therapist

[H] = Mr. Harvik, your ex-husband

[Scene opens in a therapist’s office]

[SFX: A very calm environment with a clock ticking away]

[T] “Welcome to your first therapy session, Mr. Harvik. I took a look at your entry forms and while I think I have a general understanding, I’d like you to tell me what’s brought you in, today.”

[A handsome but tired man slouches onto the couch opposite of the therapist, voice low and somber]

[H] “...I cheated on my wife and she left me.”

[T] “Mmh…”

[H] “I… don’t know how to cope with it. All of these feelings… Part of my brain is screaming, ‘She’s the one that froze you out! She’s the one that started slacking and laid in bed all the time!’ but the small shred of me that might be a good person knows I’ve ruined my life…”

[T] “That’s a terrible thing to feel, but not abnormal in this case.”

[H] “...I think I hurt her beyond repair… I don’t know if that’s my ego talking, I don’t know if it’s the way she interacts with me now… It’s like talking to a ghost… She didn’t even react when she caught us together…”

[T] “Some people emotionally shut down to cope with trauma, Mr. Harvik… Some people react in ways that might seem wholly illogical to others, too.”

[H] “No… It’s like she felt… nothing. She’d caught us, I was expecting her to blow up, yell, call me a piece of shit! Something… Instead, she just sighed through her nose and said, ‘I’ll be at my brother’s place. The divorce papers will be served in the next few days’, turned around and just… left. Left the bedroom, left my life… left me.”

[Pause…]

[He rubs his face, irritated and deeply saddened]

[H] “...I didn’t want to hurt my wife with my affair. OK? I know that sounds ludicrous. I didn’t want to shove it in her face… I was just lonely, stupid, and prone to falling for anyone giving me the time of day, apparently…”

[T] “When did you last see your ex-wife?”

[Pause?]

[H] “I haven’t seen her outside of court or custody swap days, since that day… I hear her voice sometimes when we have to discuss our son, and it fucking kills me. I hear her happiness and all the love in her voice when she’s talking to him, but the moment she’s talking to me, it’s all gone. I’m just another fucking problem for her to somehow cope with…”

[The therapist pauses]

[T] “Did your ex-wife struggle to cope?”

[H, with a sad laugh] “No… She was a champion at it. She could do this thing where it could be a barfight, stools flying, fists punching, and she’ll be perfectly calm and handling it… I used to have pretty bad anger management skills… I wasn’t always… grounded.”

[T] “Mmh… Well, if she’s still taking good care of your son, and seems to be doing alright, then that is ultimately a good thing, Mr. Harvik. It seems like you two have worked out a healthy co-parenting relationship as well.”

[H] “Yeah, no, she’s doing great! At least… I think she is… Our son said she’s been coughing lately so I guess the worst thing on her plate is single life living and allergies, heh…”

[T] “This may be a sensitive topic but… have you given thought to her dating again? It may be good to develop some coping methods earlier, especially if you used to be prone to outbursts. This isn’t to say you cannot control yourself, mind, just an idea I’d like to explore further.”

[H, tensing] “...yes. Drives me insane which, I get it, I’m a dirty hypocrite… She’s so beautiful and so attentive. Any intimate moment with her felt meaningful… I don’t want another man to feel that… To feel the same way I do…”

[T] “Mmh… We definitely need to work on some coping techniques, Mr. Harvik. It sounds like you’re under an immense amount of stress and don’t really know how to cope besides punishing yourself…”

[H, scoffing] “Punishing myself?”

[SFX: Some papers flipping]

[T] “Do you think you aren’t?”

[H, hesitant] “...I don’t know what I am, anymore… Everything has felt like a bad joke since I signed those stupid papers…”

[T] “My professional opinion?”

[H] “Yeah…?”

[T] “You’re still deeply in love with your ex-wife. You want things to go back to normalcy that you favor over the current, deeply uncomfortable position you are in. You’re still with the woman you cheated with, which is giving you a comparison to your old life. The unfortunate truth is that you cannot force reconciliation, or even force someone to care for you again. You can only work on being better and kinder in the future. You are also being dishonest to your current partner if you are still emotionally entangled with your wife… I cannot ask you to do anything you do not wish to do, but I do want to be honest with you about your current standing.”

[Pause]

[SFX: The clock ticking]

[H, with a slight voice crack] “... I hate that she looks right through me… I want to reach out and pull her back into my arms so badly, but she just looks at me with those hauntingly sad eyes. Always the same… ‘Hello. How are you? Good? That’s good. Here’s the schedule and his bag is packed. I love you, Parker’... that’s our son ... I once said, ‘I love you, too’ at the exact same time as my son and he looked up at me, so confused, and said, ‘Daaaaad, no you don’t!’. I went back and cried for a few hours…”

[Pause]

[SFX: Papers shuffling]

[T] “Parker is… six?”

[H] “Mmhm…”

[T] “How is your current partner handling Parker being in the house you share with her?”

[H, sighing] “Not well… She basically makes an excuse and leaves for the weekend… Works better, to be honest…”

[T] “Sounds like your current partner dislikes your family being present…”

[H, with a bitter laugh] “Understatement of the century…”

[T] “You mentioned in your initial sign-up forms that your current partner was also causing distress?”

[He lets out a long sigh]

[H] “...Amanda goes out of her way to antagonize my ex-wife, and it drives me up the fucking wall. She goes out of her way to show off how ‘happy’ we are when all we do is argue constantly. She doesn’t want to work and wants to start trying for kids… I think she’s losing her mind because my ex-wife never gives her a reaction.”

[T] “Mmh, that’s a good way to handle that kind of aggression. If I may ask, are you getting positives in your new relationship?”

[H, pausing] “...it has to be worth it.”

[T] “The affair?”

[Your ex nods, tormented]

[H] “I want to at least try… Even though she’s driving me insane. I don’t want to walk away without at least trying…”

[T] “Mmh… Again, I cannot ask or suggest without potentially overstepping, but I’ve made my observations. It seems like you are punishing yourself by staying in a relationship that sounds potentially unhealthy. I’d like you to reflect on that if you’d please.”

[H] “...I’ll try.”

[SFX: His phone ringing]

[H] “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot to mute it! Uh…”

[He freezes for a moment, breathless]

[H] “It’s her… I need to take this.”

[SFX: Him stepping outside and answering the call]

[H] “Hey! Hello?”

[Pause]

[H] “Wait… Parker? Parker, honey, calm down, I can’t understand you!”

[Pause!!]

[H] “... M-Mommy fell down the stairs…”

[The world falls dark around him at that moment. His body moves on its own, running for his car and setting off]

[SFX: Him running to his car and taking off]

[H] “Parker, I need to call people that can help Mommy, OK? I need to put you on hold but I’m on my way! Fifteen minutes, OK?”

[Pause…]

[H, sobbing] “I know you’re scared, honey, just stay on the phone and wait until you hear my voice! I’m on my way!”

[SFX: Fade out on him speeding his way toward home]

[To be continued?]