Part 2

Context: You didn't mean to start a fight but it seems like all you can do.

Setting: Home

Tags:[M4F][Established Relationship][Lovers to ?][Angry Boyfriend Speaker][Anxious Girlfriend Listener][Angst][Fight/Argument][Too Far][Family Drama][Surreal][CW: Mentions of Familial Neglect][TW: Panic Attack/Emotional Abuse]

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[Scene opens in your apartment]

[SFX: A TV playing in the BG]

[You’re cuddled up with your boyfriend on the couch after work, watching a movie]

[Pause]

“Mmh… It’s nice to just sit and watch a movie with you, too. Especially after this week, bleugh…”

[Pause?]

“Hm? Oh, that’s the main character’s mother. She’s giving his love interest a medal to thank her for her contributions to their family.”

[. . . Pause </3]

“Aww, sweetie…”

[He gives you a few kisses on the forehead]

“Don’t be sad. C’mon, you might not get a medal from my mom, but you’ll be getting that award from work in a few weeks. Which you wholly deserve, by the way. Insane little worker bee, hmhm…”

[Pause…]

“...Yeah, you know how she can be… Not the nicest lady.”

[. . .]

[He gives you a look]

“Seriously? You’re seriously still hung up on my Mom saying you weren’t good enough for me? Hon, she’s said that about every partner I’ve ever had, you can’t take it personally.”

[...Pause…]

“I know, I get it. I didn’t stand up for you, but I also didn’t ask you to go out of your way to try and ‘prove yourself’ to my family… I’m worried about how fixated you are on this, baby, seriously…”

[P-Pause…]

[He exhales and puts a hand on top of your head gently]

“I know… I know you don’t really have a family of your own, but you’re killing yourself trying to get a bitter old woman to change. Statistically speaking, they’re the least likely to change people on the planet. How she feels doesn’t represent how I feel.”

[. . .]

[His smile turns into a scowl and he turns away with a sigh]

“And we’re on about marriage again… Do you still not get how ridiculous a ‘timeline to propose’ is?”

[Pause…]

“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, I just think marriage, in general, is kind of unnecessary, you know?”

[Pause?]

[He pauses, taken aback at your forwardness]

“Then why not just do it? I… don’t particularly like being forced to do things. I think that’s reason enough, you know?”

[Pause?]

“Are there no other reasons I refuse to marry you? Sweetheart… I just want to relax tonight, can we please not do this?”

[Pause!]

“I know you’re working hard to improve!”

[Pause…]

“Honey… Even if it would ‘be helpful for you to know what you need to improve on’, that’s not what this is about. Work is crazy, there’s always some family drama going on, I just need time to breathe, OK?”

[. . .?]

[His voice darkens considerably]

“...No, I do not think you staying with Cal so I can have space to myself is a good idea.”

[...?]

“Yes, I know I ‘just said’, but Cal is a boundary for me.”

[Pause???]

“Yes. You hanging out with your male bestie for a few months, alone, is a boundary, as of now. Why would you even suggest that? I want quality time with you but you always look at me like a sad puppy, trying to figure out what you did ‘wrong’ when I’m trying to be nice to you!”

[P-Pause…]

[He rubs his face, frustrated]

“...I know you’re not trying to start a fight… and I DO trust you. Cal, I don’t trust… Not with how he looks at you and not with all the attitude he gives me… I don’t want to be the kind of controlling douchebag that makes his girlfriend cut off a friend completely, but I have my limits.”

[. . .]

“No, you know what? I don’t want to leave it, now. I want to get this shit off my chest before it drives me insane!”

[He stands, towering over you, and a cold wash of dread chokes the air from you]

[SFX: The Speaker standing]

“I swear to God, it’s like you poke and needle and pry because you secretly want me to confirm your worst fears or all these little insecurities you seem to have picked up over the years! Why?! Do you get some catharsis from it? Do you sit there and think, ‘Oh, someone finally agrees with my insane view of myself, now I have an excuse to throw a pity party because it’s the only kind of party I seem to fucking enjoy?!’??”

[. . .]

[He goes through it, for a moment. The brief wince of realizing he’s gone too far. The furrowed brow of him convincing himself he’s not wrong. And, of course, the eye roll of contempt]

“And here come the waterworks… Can we not do this, please? Like, seriously, if you give me a night to think, we can talk about it in the morning… OK? I… I’m sorry I yelled, that wasn’t OK…”

[. . .]

[SFX: Your heartbeat is too loud]

“...What’s going on with your breathing? Hey…?”

[. . .]

[Why won’t he give your air back…? Haven’t you paid enough?]

[SFX: Heart pounding / the Listener stumbling]

“Baby! Whoa, I got you! I got you!”

[His voice is far away]

“Honey?! You’re breathing too fast, you’re gonna hurt yourself! Here… here, sit down, and I’ll get you a paper bag!”

[SFX: Him scrambling about]

[There once was a girl from the sea…]

[You try to find something pleasant. Form a thought. A tale Cal used to tell you]

There once was a girl from the sea, she was sad. Washed ashore, now she was mad. Time passed, with a tick and a tock. So, one day, she turned into a little grey rock

“Here you go! Just try and breathe into it… I know, it smells like a sandwich, sorry, just… just breathe… Try and guess what kind of sandwich! I bet you get it, first try!”

[P…Pause…]

“See? First try… I-I appreciate how many stupid boyfriend facts you know off the top of your head, you know? You know all of my favorites, you remember which places I like and which I hated, and you plan walks by the places I hate so I have something to rant about…”

[. . .]

[He’s holding you, rubbing your back and breathing against your temple]

“Jesus… I’m so sorry, I…I NEVER meant to hurt you like that! I just let my stupid temper get the better of me, I would never, EVER do that on purpose!”

Little grey rock… It’s OK

[. . .]

“Please, please, please, just calm down! It’s OK! Focus on me!”

None of it matters, anyway

“Do I need to call 911?! Baby?!?”

Against the cruel sea, turn grey

[SFX: The Listener’s heartbeat slowing]

“H-Hey… there you go… There you go, keep focusing on me… I’ve got you!”

And lets all their fears wash away

[P-Pause…]

[He comes back into view, panicked]

“Shh, it’s OK… Oh, Christ, I’m so sorry… Are you OK? Did you bruise a rib??”

[...Pause.]

“...You’re fine…? Are you sure…?”

[Pause]

“...Yeah, I can help you to bed… Hon, are you sure? I really am sorry, I swear I never-”.

[Pause]

[He helps you into bed dutifully, uncertain and antsy]

“...I really am sorry…”

[Pause]

“...You’re saying ‘you know’, but… I really feel like we should talk about this.”

[Pause]

“...I did ask to talk tomorrow but…”

[Pause.]

[He hesitates]

“...OK. Yeah, I… I’ll sleep on the couch… Give you some space.”

[Pause]

“...Goodnight… I love you…”

[. . .]

[SFX: Him shutting the door behind him/a few muffled cries]

[. . .]

[SFX: Fade out on ambiance/BGM of choice - the mood is meant to be deeply personal, at this point]

[To be continued?]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The full poem (I can’t poem, lol)

There once was a girl from the sea, she was sad

She once washed ashore, and grew mad.

Time passed, with a tick and a tock.

And she turned into a little grey rock

Little grey rock… It’s OK

None of it matters, anyway

Against the cruel sea, one turns grey

And lets all their fears wash away

For a little grey rock feels nothing

And, perhaps, in the end, that is something