Part 1

Summary: As your eyes drift open, you find yourself in the castle dungeon. Luckily, however, you’re not alone. One of your fellow prisoners may quite literally have the key to your escape, if the two of you can agree to work together.

CW: non-consensual imprisonment, some curse words/swearing, a metric tonne of sass

Usage:

• OK to record & monetize, as long as you give me credit in the video/audio description as the scriptwriter! I would also love to listen to the recording when it’s done–please send me the link on Reddit! Paywalling is okay; however, if you paywall, you must make it possible for me to listen to the finished product.
• Gender-flipping and small tweaks are okay (e.g., changing pronouns, leaving out/changing curse words), but no large edits are permitted.
• Feel free to use music or insert sound effects if you’d like. Any sound effects given are suggestions–use at your discretion. *Sound effects in bold, set apart by asterisks\*
• Any dialogue or reactions given by the Listener are purely for the benefit of the VA, to help them feel like they have something to respond to while they’re acting. Listener reactions in italics.
• Please let me know if you have any questions!

—————————————————————

Look who’s finally awake. Good morning, sunshine. Not that you can really tell if it's morning down here, but anyway. Welcome back to the land of the living.

[...]

(sarcasm) No…really? We’re in the dungeons!? I never would’ve guessed. It’s not like the damp air, the bars on the door, and the guards were any clue.

[...]

Me? You can call me Cal. And I don’t even need to ask who you are. How’d Your Royal Higness get thrown down here? What’d you do?

[...]

Wow, touchy. Someone woke up on the wrong side of their mold-riddled straw bed. Come on—what’d you do? Did you try on the crown jewels without permission? Did you use the wrong fork at your last fancy dinner? Or, no, wait—don’t tell me. Did you sneak out after curfew to meet your secret lover for a moonlit stroll in the royal gardens?

[...]

Whoa, whoa; okay; fine! Sheesh.

[...]

Nah, it’s—I’m the one who was out of line. Sorry. You stay down here too long, you start to forget how to have an actual human conversation. I mean, I was never really great at that to begin with, but still.

[...]

What am I down here for? Heh, someone’s nosy.

[...]

(sarcastic, playful) \mocking gasp** You assume I’m a criminal? How rude! What if I’ve been falsely accused? Did you ever think of that? What if I’ve done nothing wrong? What if it’s all just a misunderstanding, and yet I’m forced to remain locked in this cell, day in and day out, all the while praying that a kind, generous, good-looking royal such as yourself will give me a chance to prove my innocence?...

[...]

(back to normal voice) \chuckle** Oh, well. It was worth a shot. I really am innocent, though—it shouldn't be a crime to want to feed your family.

[...]

Why should I tell you? How do I know you’re not gonna make fun of me, or worse? For all I know, that bastard could’ve sent you to spy on me.

[...]

Whoa—damn. If looks could kill! Never mind…I guess you hate him as much as the rest of us.

[...]

\sigh** So, you’re not gonna let it go, huh? Fine—we’ll trade. If I tell you my story, you’ll tell me yours in return. And don’t try and lie to me. I promise, I’ll be able to tell if you do. Deal?

[...]

Alright. For me, it’s not really anything special—I got caught stealing a loaf of bread from a supply wagon headed to the castle barracks. They caught me, and threw me in here. End of story.

[...]

Yup. One loaf. Rye, if I remember correctly. I tried to stuff it under my cloak, but I guess I wasn’t fast enough this time.

[...]

Huh? “This time?” Oh, uh—don’t worry about it!

[...]

Nope; I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was absolutely, definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, the first and only time I’ve ever stolen anything. The one blemish on an otherwise spotless record!

[...]

Okay; okay. But can you blame me? It’s only been a few weeks since the king died, gods rest his soul, but taxes have already gone up twice. Okay, so I wasn’t exactly an angel before all this, but even so, I’d rather give up my halo any day than see my family starve. Still, I didn’t think the guards would keep me here so long.

[...]

Oh, um…a week, I guess? Maybe more? It’s hard to tell, without the sun.

"They locked you up for that long, just for stealing a loaf of bread!?"

I know, right? Back when the king was alive, at most, I’d have gotten a week’s labor. Knowing His Late Majesty, he probably wouldn’t have even done that—he’d have found me a job instead, so I wouldn’t even have to steal to begin with. But now, with that bastard on the throne, they decided to make an example out of me. I’m not the only one, either. They’d rather just clamp down tighter, instead of trying to actually solve the problem! Gotta love a ruler who punishes you for the problems they create.

[...]

You’re telling me! Pretentious pr*ck…he hasn’t even technically been crowned yet, but he’s already acting like he rules the whole damn world!

[...]

Huh? Oh—is my family okay? (quiet, serious, the most serious they’ve been so far) I—I don’t know. I haven’t heard. I mean, it’s just my mom and sister, but my mom hasn't been able to work since the accident, so...well, anyway. Never mind. (changes the subject) I’ve told you my tale of woe. Now it’s your turn. What in the world is your royal highness doing down here? I mean, I’ve heard of getting sent to your room, but this seems a little extreme.

[...]

Wait, what??? Treason!?

Pause, as the Listener explains.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Forgery? You mean, the first will was a fake!?

[...]

Gods! Then you were actually the one who was supposed to rule after the king! Damn it—that rat bastard!

[...]

Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I believe you? Like I said, I can tell when people are lying. Besides, to be honest, I don’t really care. I’d much rather have you on the throne than that pr*ck. I may not know you that well, but you don’t seem like you’d toss someone in a cell just for the crime of being hungry.

[...]

I thought not. (thinks) Okay. So…how about another deal? I help you get out of here, so you can go find the real will and kick that pretender off your throne, and then, when your royal butt is back in its divinely-appointed seat, you pardon me of all my so-called crimes. And maybe also bring the taxes back down to livable levels. What do you say?

[...]

Hold up. First: shake on it.

They shake hands.

Wonderful. A pleasure to be working with you, Your Highness.

[...]

(smug) Oh, please. Would I have even brought it up, if I didn’t have a plan?

[...]

…Ouch. I swear, though, I really do have a way to get us out of here. \clinking of keys\** Ta-daaaa! You may now act all impressed.

[...]

I managed to nick them from the last guard who brought my food. Believe me, it wasn’t easy, but even the toughest purse is no match for an expert like me.

[...]

Huh? Oh, uh…well…my record may have a few more blemishes than you’ve been led to believe.

[...]

Wow, okay. Damn, is swallowing knives part of your royal training? With a tongue that sharp, you could probably cut right through the bars, never mind the key.

[...]

Fair enough. We can continue this little battle of wits after we escape. Give me a moment.

\sounds of unlocking a cell; a door creaking open\**

And voila! Well? After you, Your Highness.

[...]

Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. I’ll follow along behind you. Just be confident—as long as you act like you’re supposed to be out and about, we should be able to walk right out of here with no trouble.

[...]

Positive. Come on. You got this!

The Listener walks out of the cell, Cal following.

Yeah, just like that. You’re doing great. Assuming we don’t run into the rat bastard himself, we should be good if we just—oomph!

The Listener stops short, and Cal runs into them from behind.

—Ow! Hey, why’d you stop!?

Cal trails off on the word “stop,” looking past the Listener’s shoulder to see none other than the Advisor, flanked by guards.

…Oh, snap. (urgent; panicked) Okay, new plan: RUN!!!