Apologising To A Former God

*** = listener speaking

Can be monetised, just please link back to either this post or my YouTube!

Gender(s)/names can be changed if wanted!

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You know, it’s common courtesy to make sure the homeowner isn’t in earshot when you’re denigrating their abode.

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I was just out on a shopping trip. I was out of macaroni, so I went to grab more bags.

I used to have a much wider range of choices when it came to food, but now, I’m finding that simpler, traditional home cooking can be quite delicious.

As long as you have different kinds of sauces in, you can have macaroni and tomato sauce one week, macaroni and Bolognese the next…

~~~

How rude!

Questioning my cooking skills, the audacity!

It’s not like I have an eventful life these days. Actually, I barely leave the house.

So I don’t see how it’s unusual hat my meals are a little simpler too.

Besides, I’m sure I could master dishes like “La Lettre a Focalors” or “Blubber Profiteroles” in no time. If I felt so inclined.

Pfft, not yet, maybe, but… Anyway! What are you even doing here? I do hope you didn’t come here just to ogle my fall from grace?

Come to think of it, where’s that floating companion of yours? Did you sneak off from her so that you could have a personal show to laugh at?

Even if my final show was a spectacle, that doesn’t mean I’m going to do an encore.

Please just amuse yourself with your own thoughts if that’s the case.

~~~

If that’s not what you showed up on my doorstep for, then please explain yourself promptly. I’m getting rather peckish, so I want to be able cook my macaroni soon.

~~~

You were worried about me, and… wanted to check on me?

T-There’s no need to do such a thing.

I can take care of myself like any other human.

I should hope that you haven’t already put our final trial out of your mind.

Besides, Monsieur Neuvillette has been kind enough to send me care packages since my departure, so-

~~~

You haven’t… what?

I’m not going to understand you if you speak in incomplete sentences.

It would also be nice if you raised your head and looked at me in the eye.

What, has me losing my status as the ‘god’ of Fontaine made me unworthy of even that respect, even if I was a fake?

…Nothing at all to say?

…W-Well… if it’s something you’re uncomfortable saying out in the open, t-then… why don’t you come inside?

Granted, my living quarters are nowhere near as splendid as the ones inside the Palais Mermonia, and I wasn’t anticipating any guests so it’s not really in the state to host anyone, but-

~~~

Again with the cutting me off – do you really have no respect for me at all?

[speaker sighs]

No matter. Yes, I meant it when you could come inside.

Now, hurry up before I change my mind.

[door opens and closes]

L-Like I said, my house isn’t really in the state to receive visitors at the moment, but… make yourself at home, I suppose.

~~~

…Why do you look so shocked? You saw the outside, of course it wasn’t going to be anything special.

I even specifically said that it was no Palais Mermonia. Don’t tell me you thought I was bluffing?

Even if Neuvillette is sending me aid, there’s no way he could justify sending me enough mora to lavishly furnish the place…

***

You thought the interior would be a mess!?

Excuse me! I may no longer be in the position of a god, but I am more than capable of cleaning up after myself! I took care of an entire city not that long ago, don’t forget.

Why would you think such an utterly foolish thing?

***

I told you; it was because my house may not be what you think it was compared to where I used to live!

I wasn’t saying it because I’m incapable of cleaning up after myself!

Listen, I have committed to living an honest, normal life now!

I no longer desire to play any sort of roles after being released from my fake godhood. Why would I suddenly ‘act’ like an average citizen?

It serves me no purpose whatsoever! None!

Please keep that in mind the next time you want to try to accuse me of lying!

~~~

[speaker sighs]

No, no, it’s alright.

I… came off a little strong there.

Sorry. You just… hit a sore spot, that’s all.

I need to learn to cope with it and reign those emotions in, in case someone unknowingly follows in your footsteps… so, if anything, it was a wake-up call.

Look at that. You actually gave me a wake-up call, even if it wasn’t the one you intended to give me at the trial.

I tip my hat at you in congratulations, my fine non-citizen.

~~~

I told you, you don’t need to apologise-

~~~

…Oh. You wanted to talk about the trial.

[speaker breathes in and out, as if in pain]

As I said… you don’t actually have to worry about it.

At the end of the day, you were doing what you thought was right at the time, given what you knew.

Who’s to say I wouldn’t have done the same if I were the one in your shoes?

So, let’s… let’s just call it water under the bridge, huh?

~~~

N-No?

Why not?

Do you… still hate me?

[speaker’s voice is cracking, holding their emotions back]

Not… that I blame you… I’m sure the rest of the people of Fontaine feel the same towards me.

Tricked, cheated, betrayed… I am nothing more than a lousy faker no one can trust to you all, aren’t I?

…You don’t need to tell me that.

[listener hugs speaker]

H-Hey, what are you-

~~~

A-Again, you don’t need to apologise! I…

[speaker starts to cry]

I… I should be the one apologising to all of you…

~~~

I told you… E-Even if you didn’t know my side of the story… I told you, it’s fine!

~~~

Y-You don’t need to apologise a hundred times over… of course that would be enough. Any amount would be enough.

You…

You’re the only one who’s actually come and apologised to me.

I know Neuvillette is trying to apologise by providing me with a stable beginning to my non-god life, and some of my former guards like Clorinde have invited me out to drinks to show their own regret… but…

But you are the only one… who has said it to my face.

I…

~~~

How much I suffered as a fake god shouldn’t be your concern… it shouldn’t be…

But… thank you. I forgive you.

I didn’t realise how much I needed something like this.

Actually, I don’t remember the last time someone hugged me.

Like this, anyway. A proper hug on equal terms.

Have I ever been hugged like this before, come to think of it?

…I’m sorry if this sounds selfish… but can you hug me for just a little longer?