My KoFi: https://ko-fi.com/timeraft

Archive!:https://www.reddit.com/r/ASMRScriptHaven/comments/x9hb9v/script_archive/

Can you believe I've never done a Neko script? I feel like that's against the rules or something IDK.

The listener has recently adopted an adorable little black cat. Oh sure they're grumpy and loud and work really hard to pretend that they don't like you petting them and they wait till they think you're asleep to climb onto the bed, but they're just so adorable! Unbeknownst to you though they're secretly an evil sorcerer/sorceress trapped in the form of a cat! And they've got a plan to retake control! Just as soon as they can figure out how to get over their fear of the spray bottle.

Dialogue

Sounds

Context

Context that changes the audio

The cat is waiting at home for their human to come back from work

The cat is meowing but people can't understand them. This takes the form of regular talking for the audio. But the listener as a character can only hear the meowing.

I hate being a cat so much! I'm so weak and helpless and that peasant who owns me never gives me a moment's peace! Always snugs and pets and headpats, makes me sick!

It's almost bad enough to make me regret all those magical crimes I did.

Almost.

But soon! Soon I shall be human again! As soon as that fool returns I’m as good as free. All I have to do is trick them into saying they love me and then give me a kiss. There was a time I thought such a thing impossible, but this overly affectionate simpleton has done both, I simply need to get them to do it in the right order. And even if that's not the exact right way to break the curse the spell circle I have prepared on the porch should provide me enough of a magic boost to smooth that over.

Door opens

Ahhh yes they have returned from their labor. Soon I will finally be able to enact my plan!

Greetings peasant! I require your attention.

Listener reaches out and pats their head

No… ouch… don't pat my head!

No I do not desire a nose boop!

Oh how I wish you could hear my words, but fortunately you're simple minded enough that a few mews and meows gets my point across well enough. Now come!

Come!

Listener baby talks at them

Yes yes I am a pretty/handsome little potato boy/girl now pay attention!

Follow me to the porch!

You're not following me

Listener holds up a stuffed mouse shaped cat toy

That little stuffed mouse won't distract me, peasant! Not at all. You think of me as a mewling simpleton? Do you truly think I am the type to be distracted by a ball of felt wrapped string assembled into the crude facsimile of a mouse? if you throw it I will simply ignore it-

Listener fake throws it and the speaker madly chases it

Where is it!? Where is it!?

Where is it!? I can't find it!

Listener holds it up

Arghghggg you never threw it did you!?

Ohhhhh you'll pay for that soon. Soon fool.

Laugh while you can. Laugh while you can

Now follow pet! Follow me to the porch

They knocked over the potted plants and drew a pentagram with the soil. The speaker stands in the center.

Bah don't yell at me I needed this potting soil for my spell. I had to make the glyphs out of something. Your succulents will be fine. I'm no monster.

Listener scolds them

Scolding me? Fool soon you shall grovel before me, but first I must complete the ritual. A sorcerer must be resourceful. I can already feel the magic flowing through me.

I have the physical component completed as best I can, but I must complete the spiritual aspect and it must be tonight.

Ah peasant you scold and scold, but soon you shall be as clay in my hands! Molded to my will! Your simple minded nature is no match for my dark cunning.

Behold, arrogant fool! Kitty Cat eyes!

They act cute and the listener forgets their anger

Yes yes! Your anger now forgotten you reach down to scoop me up!

Soon fool Soon! the ritual shall be completed!

You wuv me? Fool! You gave unto me an affirmation of love! Crude tho it may have been. Now, now the final part of the ritual! A kiss from one who has learned to love me! Or wuv as you so crudely articulated.

No do not rub my belly. No!

They get distracted

Ahhhhhhhhhhh yes, scratch my belly, scratch it! Ohhh that's good yeahhhh

No no no I have to focus! The ritual!

Do not remove your hand! No, you must complete it! Kiss me!

Listener kisses speaker on the forehead

Yes yes! A kiss! A kiss on the forehead perhaps but a kiss nonetheless! The world is mine now, fool! You have broken the curse!

They change back into a human

Talking outloud

Ahahahahahahahaha! Fool! I am human again! Free to walk the night! Free to conquer! Free to rule!

Oh how I relish this! My power restored! Magic flows through my veins again! Why I may be even stronger than before! Those goodie goodie white mages who trapped me in this form won't know what hit them! And then I'll have all the fish and catnip I desire! I will be the one patting heads and booping noses!

Evil laugh

Why are you standing there all slack jawed? Kneel fool! Kneel before the great sorcerer/sorceress Socks!

That's not my name…. my name is Socks!

No no I know my name that's not my name. That's the name you gave me when you took me in off the streets! My name is s-s-s-socks! Argh!

Fool! Why did you name me such? I didn't even have white paws! I was silken and black! Black as the darkest night! Just as the hair of my gorgeous human form!

No matter! I'll figure that out later. For now I shall revel in being human once again! Oh how I have desired this.

I owe you gratitude peasant! I think I'll give you the honor of being my slave!

Now now, it's rare to receive such a boon from a being as beautiful and powerful as me. I suggest you count your blessings. Or soon you'll be counting curses instead.

Now quickly slave, bring unto me a mirror so that I may admire the beauty so long lost to me!

Why do you laugh? Fetch the mirror immediately! Make haste, lest I trap you eternally inside of it!

They look at the mirror and realize they still have cat ears.

Anguished shriek

My sweet Lord. I'm not human. Nonono I-I'm-I'm still part cat!

Angry shouting as they toss the mirror aside

The ritual is incomplete! That's why I cannot say my name! Oh what cruel fate!

Argh! You fool! You "wuv" your cat don't you!

The white mage was very clear that the curse would only be broken by a declaration of love followed by a kiss, but you didn't do it right! I'm a filthy Neko! And-and it's all your fault! You did this to me!

I don't care that you had no way of knowing! You've trapped me as this-this beast! Oh oh you'll pay! You will pay! I-I'll turn you into a mouse!

Yes that's what I'll do! Hope you like cheese peasant!

They begin a magical incantation.

Te Sey Sabir te-

Spray bottle

Pfft pfft. D-di-Did-Did you just use the spray bottle on me!

Oh now I'm really mad!

Incantation begins again

Te sey sab-

Spray bottle

Will you stop that I'm trying to put a spell on you you insolent little twerp! Learn to read the room!

Te se-

Spray bottle

Stop!

Te s-

Spray bottle

Te-

Spray bottle

T-

Spray bottle

Crying

Stop, stop! I give up!

You've beaten me! I don't know how but you've broken my spirit. My evil evil spirit.

I'm cold and wet and defeated and humiliated. I wish you'd just left me as a cat! Oh what have I done to deserve this!

I'm just going to stand in the corner and cry now.

Listener reaches out to their chin

Don't you dare touch my chin fool! I'll-

Listener begins scratching their chin

Oh oh yessssss there is an itch there. Yess, scratch my chin- ooooof!

Listener pulls them closer

Pulling me into an embrace will not save you! Soon I shall-

Listener scratches behind their ears

oh oh oh yesss scratch right behind my ears yessss yessssss ohhhhh.

Get my back too- yessss

Purring and miscellaneous cat sounds

No! No! I must focussssssss ahhhhhhhhh.

More purring and miscellaneous cat sounds

Stop! Stop! Stop this insolence at once!

Pause for awkward silence

Did I say you could stop scratching behind my ears? Chop chop peasant!

Yet more purring and miscellaneous cat sounds

Oh yeah that's the stuff. There we go. Oh sweet merlin you have no idea how stress relieving this is.

You’re quite good at that, I must admit. Perhaps there is wisdom in me remaining with you.

More scritches

Yeah I needed thattttt.

The couch? Yesssssss. This ritual has made me tired. I've had quite a dayyy. Sit at once upon the couch! So I may rest my head upon thy lap!

Exaggerated yawnnnnnnnnn

Drowsy

Yes slave I shall sleep with my head in your lap for a momenttttttt and then once I wake from this catnap I'll take over the world or something. Yes and then I'll have all the fishhhhh. First the power, then the fishes.

Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Contented cat noises.

-30-