*** = listener speaking

Can be monetised, just please link back to either this post or my YouTube!

Gender(s) can be changed if wanted!

~~~

[woodland noises; someone steps on some branches]

[speaker is groaning as the approach listener]

Gah… gah… brains, brainssss- ow!

Hey, why’d you hit me? I know you knew it was me!

***

Of course I had to scare you! What am I supposed to do, come up to you all sweet and give you a little peck on the cheek on Halloween?

I’ll still do that if you want, but I want to get into the vibes of the season. Spooky scary skeletons and all that!

Are you telling me you aren’t happy we can finally hang out without having to worry about people being like “ewww, why’s her skin green and rotting? Ahhh, she’s a zombie!!”

I know I am!

Just for tonight, if I hear people screaming, I know I’ll have made their night~

So come on, won’t you scream for me?

***

Ugh, you’re so mean! Even though I was so nice and went out of my way to bring you something special.

I guess you won’t be able to try drinks from the land of the dead and the monstrous~

After all, there’s no chance you’d ever be able to get these in store on this side of the living world.

***

[speaker holds up a bag of canned drinks]

What, you didn’t think I’d come empty-handed after you spoiled me with sweets last time, do you?

I always repay my debts, you know that~

***

I know that was you paying me back, paying you back, paying me back, paying you back, paying me back.

So this is me paying you back, paying me back, paying you back, paying me back, paying you back, paying me back!

Are you really going to reject me like this? How cruel~

Even though my heart’s stopped beating, I can still be heartbroken, you know that~

***

I’m glad you asked!

The wonderful drinks I have procured for our special evening are a wonderful variety of sweet in the spirit of Halloween… but also sour and spicy~

Are you curious about which one is which?

***

[speaker laughs]

You know I wasn’t going to tell you? You know me so well, of course not~

Since we’re apparently ‘too old to go trick or treating’, these drinks right here will be our own version of that!

The sweet ones will be our treat, and the sour will be our trick… and the special spicy one will be the extra tricky one.

According to my demon friend, even if you like spicy, you’re going to want to avoid that one. It’s brewed in the hottest volcano in the gluttony ring of hell~

***

Yes, sorry to disappoint, but I wasn’t the one who picked the drinks out.

I thought it would be unfair if I knew which drinks were which, so I had a couple of my friends pick their favourite and least favourites so we could share.

I even told them to cover up the labels since I can understand monster languages and you can’t~ aren’t I the sweetest thing here?

***

[speaker laughs]

You can try to by all means, but I don’t think taking a sip – or I suppose a bite would be more on brand – of a zombie won’t end well for a human.

You’ve still got plenty of years ahead of you, don’t kick the bucket yet!

We both know you’ll end up in the same place as me eventually, so what’s the rush?

Enjoy the land of the living privileges for a little longer.

I don’t mind telling our grandkids that our romance was a slowburn~ wouldn’t be that different to when we were alive.

And yeah, I asked around, and surprisingly you can have kids when you’re no longer in the land of the living.

I thought it was weird at first, but hey, what can I say when I’m a zombie?

***

Yes, you can call it weird since you’re a human.

But you can call it weird while your mouth is full of a drink? This stuff was expensive!

[speaker opens the bag to listener]

C’mon, hurry up and pick one!

Here, I’ll be nice and let you have first pick. Pick whichever one you want, go on.

***

…Oooo, that one? Are you sure?

***

I am not playing any mind games whatsoever.

I’m just making simple commentary, that’s all.

How can I play mind games when I don’t have a working brain?

Totally nothing sinister being plotted while you break out in a cold sweat about which drink is safe and which isn’t.

Mhm. Totally.

[listener picks a drink]

You’re going with it? Alright…

Well? Take a sip~ we won’t know if it’s safe or not until you take a sip~

***

It’s…

…safe? Lucky you!

My turn!

[speaker instantly reaches inside the bag and pulls one out, taking a large sip]

UGH!

Oh, that tastes horrible!

[speaker spits it out]

Ugh, that’s not just sour, that tastes like rotten eggs! Who on earth thought this would be a good kind of drink to make!?

Guess that’s karma for teasing you… ugh…

***

Yeah, it sucks that bad. You’re lucky you didn’t- mmph!

[listener kisses speaker]

[speaker laughs]

I told you it tasted bad! Did you think I was lying?

***

What do you mean, you’re not actually sure?

Ah- no coming in for a second taste.

You know the rules.

Even if I do make sure I eat before I see you… I don’t want to actually go all zombie on you.

Your face is too beautiful for bitemarks~

***

[speaker laughs]

Yes, that is what I’m saying.

I really can’t control myself around you, baby~

So be nice and don’t make me do something I’ll regret, okay?

***

Even if you do want me to do that to you, I don’t.

I jumped in front of a frigging car for you. I’m not letting that effort go to waste!

***

[speaker sighs]

I know. I said so earlier, didn’t I?

I miss not being able to hang out with you without people staring.

…Staring because I look weird, not when our friends were giving us looks to just kiss already.

But you still have a life in the living world. Think about all the people you’d upset if you left it early.

Not to mention I’d be mad at you.

If you leave now, you’d look too hot for the vampires to keep their hands off you, even without blood pumping through your veins!

So just… wait until the grim reaper visits at the time he has planned, okay?

Or I’ll hold off from giving you a kiss for a hundred years even if I don’t have to worry about going after your brain!

***

Fine, fine. One kiss to seal the deal.

This is my treat for you, okay?

[speaker laughs]

Happy Halloween~

[speaker and listener kiss]