Notes: This script is okay for monetization. Can be used on Patreon, just let me know if you do. If you use it, please give credit. You can change pronouns if preferred but otherwise please don't edit the script. My scripts are meant for adult audiences and all characters are 18 . For clarification on the format of the script, any place that says (Pause) is a place for the Listener's response. Anything in \asterisks and italics** isn't meant to be read aloud, it's there to either hint at the tone or provide context that might help the script make more sense.

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Summary: Listener has been a bit said about their cat allergies since they really love cats. Narrator, their partner, has noticed this and has thought of a way to help ease Listener's sadness. Luckily, they both end up loving it.

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Word Count: Approximately 1,338 words (Not including any actions or cues left in asterisks and italics)

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Writer’s Notes: Me, writing a script to cope with my cat allergies? You bet I am! Lol hope everyone still enjoys anyway!

Script Below:

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\Listener stands in the kitchen, putting away the dishes while listening to music. As they put away the last of the dishes, they hear a familiar pair of footsteps coming towards them.**

“Hey, babe? Are you almost done with the dishes?”

(Pause)

\Slightly sheepish** “Okay. Um, when you’re done, would you mind coming to the living room?”

(Pause)

“No, no, nothing’s wrong. It’s nothing important at all. I just… I have a little surprise for you, is all.”

(Pause)

“I’m not hiding behind the wall.”

(Pause)

\Playful** “No I’m not. If anything, you’re hiding in the kitchen, because I can’t see you.”

(Pause)

“Like I said, it’s a surprise. But if you hurry up and finish the dishes, you’ll be able to see it sooner.”

(Pause)

“Then you better hurry up!”

\Narrator laughs as they walk away. Listener finishes putting away the last of the dishes before walking towards the living room.**

“Wait! Before you come in, close your eyes.”

(Pause)

“Just do it, alright?”

(Pause)

“Okay, good. Now, before I show you the surprise, I just wanted to uh, explain it a bit? I guess?”

(Pause)

“No, it’s not like that. I just don’t wanna make myself look stupid, okay?”

(Pause)

“I appreciate that, but still let me explain, okay? Because I don’t know how you’re going to react to this, and I wanna make sure you’re ready.”

(Pause)

“Alright, so you know how we were watching all those cute cat videos last night? You were getting all sad because you love cats but you’re super allergic to them, and you kept saying how you wanted a cat to hold and pet and cuddle. And you know, I love you and I hate seeing you sad, so I um…”

(Pause)

“What? No! No way. I love you, and I know you want a cat, but I’m not going to get you a cat, no matter how much you beg. You’re allergic to them. And no matter how many times you say that you can handle the symptoms, we’re not getting a cat.”

(Pause)

“Because you get all red and itchy when you’re around cats, and you can’t live your life being red and itchy all the time!”

(Pause)

“No, you can’t.”

\Narrator groans.**

“C’mon, babe, we’ve talked about this. I know you really want a cat, but with how bad your allergies are, it won’t work. That’s why I, uh… Um…”

(Pause)

\Uncertain, embarrassed** “No it’s just… I’m starting to think this is a stupid idea. God, it’s a really stupid idea. Forget I said anything, this was- Wait! Wait, no, don’t move your hands-!”

\There’s a pause before Narrator sighs.**

“Yes, they’re cat ears. I dunno, I thought that… Hey, quit laughing!”

(Pause)

\Embarrassed** “Seriously, I just- I thought it was gonna be a good idea!”

\Listener continues to laugh, making Narrator huff.**

“You know what? Fine. You keep laughing, I’m just gonna take a nap.”

\Narrator begins to walk away before Listener wraps their arms around Narrator to stop them from leaving.**

“Don’t hug me while you’re still laughing! I’m already embarrassed enough.”

\Listener says that they aren’t laughing at Narrator, they were just caught off guard. Narrator huffs.**

\Dry, sarcastic** “Uh huh, sure, you were just ‘caught off guard.’ I totally believe you.”

(Pause)

“Sure, I totally haven’t heard that one before.”

(Pause)

\Soft** “...Really? Do you mean that?”

(Pause)

“Do you really think that they look cute on me?”

(Pause)

\Happier** “Aw, babe, you’re so sweet!”

\Narrator kisses Listener’s cheek a few times.**

“So, you really think I look good with these cat ears? You’re not pranking me, right?”

\Listener kisses Narrator’s face all over, making Narrator laugh.**

“Okay, okay, I got the message! You like the cat ears! Now quit kissing me before I suffocate from your affection!”

\Trying to stop the barrage of kisses, Narrator pushes Listener’s face away, making them both laugh.**

“See, look at this! I’m pushing your face away while you’re trying to kiss me! I’m basically the perfect cat experience already!”

(Pause)

“Oh yeah? Well, you know, the curtains are looking pretty damn climbable right now… I bet I could do it, if you really think I need to act more like a cat.”

\Narrator laughs.**

“Alright, alright! The curtains are safe… for now.”

(Pause)

\Playful** “What? I’m just a cute little cat, you can’t blame me for whatever trouble I cause.”

(Pause)

“Because I’m too cute for that. Look at me; I’m adorable. How could you ever look at my cute face and my cute kitty ears and be mad?”

(Pause)

“See? Even just looking at you, I can tell how much you wanna pick me up and squeeze in a big hug and kiss my face all over!”

(Pause)

\Playful, flirting** “Oh? Are you sure you don’t? Look at me and my fluffy little cat ears - you can’t tell me that you don’t find me irresistible.”

(Pause)

“C’mon~ You know you do~ You know you wanna pet me~”

(Pause)

“Mhm, of course you can. For tonight, I’m your kitty-cat, so you can pet me as much as you want.”

(Pause)

“Yep, whatever you want. Was there something that you had in mind?”

(Pause)

"Well, I’m not sure I can fit in your lap like a cat could, but I will totally cuddle you as much as you want. Maybe I could lay my head in your lap? Y’know, so you can pet my head? Would that work?”

(Pause)

“Perfect. Then c’mon, get on the couch and get comfortable. Yeah, right there’s fine. Then I’m just gonna lie down right here so I can lay my head on your lap like this…”

\Narrator lays down, laying their head on Listener’s thighs. They shift around, getting comfortable before sighing happily.**

“Mmm, your thighs are so comfy~ Like soft, warm, fluffy pillows. A perfect place for cuddles and a nap.”

(Pause)

“Exactly, a cat nap! I can just snuggle up to you like this and sleep right here while you pet me.”

(Pause)

“...Hey, that’s your cue that I want you to pet me.”

(Pause)

“Mhm, pet me. Give me head scritches. I demand it.”

(Pause)

“Because I’m an adorable little kitty, and I demand affection, so you must give me affection. That’s how this works.”

(Pause)

“Yep, that’s exactly how it works. Now pet me. …Please.”

\Listener begins to pet/scritch Narrator, making them hum contentedly.**

\Happy, satisfied** “Yeah, just like that. A little more to the side, behind the ear. No, the cat ear. Mm, yeah, right there.”

\Narrator sighs before quietly letting Listener continue to pet/scritch them for a while.**

“Hey, babe. Cute little kitty cats need kisses just as much as they need pets. You need to give me kisses, too.”

(Pause)

“Yeah you do. Look at me, look at my cat ears and my adorable pout - you need to give me kisses. You know you need to.”

(Pause)

\Playful, joking** “C’mooon! I demand it! Succumb to your instincts to shower me with love and affection!”

\Listener kisses Narrator a few times.**

“Ha! See?! I knew you couldn’t resist my adorableness!”

\Listener begins to kiss Narrator’s face all over, making Narrator laugh.**

\Amused** “Hey, wait! You can’t just attack me with kisses like this! Noooo, it’s too much affection! You’re gonna smother me with your love!”

(Pause)

“Seriously! Don’t make me do that little cat-paw-smack thing!”

(Pause)

“Yeah, swatting! Quit with your affection or I’ll swat at you! …Except for those nose kisses. I liked those a lot.”

(Pause)

“Mhm, like, when you kissed the tip of my nose? That was really cute, I really liked it.”

(Pause)

“Yeah, just like that.”

\Narrator chuckles.**

“One sec, let me scoot up a bit, my neck’s a bit uncomfortable like this.”

\Narrator snuggles up to Listener a bit more.**

\Calm, content** “Oh, yeah, that’s much better.”

(Pause)

“Hm? Are you petting me again?”

\Narrator chuckles again.**

“It really is like an instinct for you, isn’t it? Just petting my head like I’m a cat.”

(Pause)

\Amused** “Yeah, I guess I am your cat, huh?”

(Pause)

“You look so happy right now, petting me and playing with my cat ears. It’s so cute.”

(Pause)

“Mm, yeah, very. Absolutely adorable. You’re smiling so much, and your eyes have this happy sparkle in them when you look at me. Not to mention that you keep giving me kisses, which is something I’ll never complain about.”

\Narrator and Listener kiss a few times. Narrator sighs happily.**

“Yep, I’ll never get tired of kissing you.”

(Pause)

“Or of these scritches. Seriously, these are amazing. I don’t know how I’ve never thought of this before; if I knew I was gonna get all of your attention, plus your kisses and scritches, I would’ve done this months ago.”

(Pause)

“Oh, definitely. I’ll be your cat for, like, forever. This is absolutely heaven. I could do this for the rest of my life.”

(Pause)

“Yeah, go ahead. You can turn on whatever you want, just keep the volume down a bit. I’m feeling pretty warm and comfy right now, and it's making me really sleepy so I’m gonna try to take a nap.”

(Pause)

“Yep. I’m comfy right here, and I’m not moving anytime soon. Your lap is waaayyyy too comfy for me to leave. And also I know you’re totally gonna pet and kiss me more because you love me and my kitty ears too much not to.”

\Narrator and Listener kiss a few times.**

“Mhm, just like that.”

\Narrator laughs, soft and sleepy.**

“Alright, you can go ahead and turn on your show or movie or whatever. I’m probably gonna start drifting off soon, but feel free to kiss and cuddle and pet me to your heart’s content.”

(Pause)

“Mm, yeah, that’s perfect. Thanks, babe. I love you.”

\The audio can either end here, or can continue into a sleep aid with breathing sounds/head scritching sounds/TV ambience/weather ambience/etc.**