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[M4A] Joke's On You Pt. 2 [Established Relationship][Strangers to Lovers][Closeted Yandere Speaker][Chill Listener][Second Date][Comedy][Internal Thoughts][Kind of Wholesome][Confession][Reverse Comfort][Thrifting][Cute][Flirting][A Little Unhinged]but[Sweet][CW: Yandere Shenanigans]
Author Summary
ItsEsmeJones is a male looking for anyone in sweet
Post Body

Part 1 Part 3


Context: You matched with a sweet man named Malikai on a dating site. After chatting online for a few months, you've decided to actually go out on your first date with him. He's super sweet, if a little eccentric. You had a nice time... even if he did spring a little surprise on you. He's a yandere but... you're kind of into it?

Setting: The city streets/Tabby Cat's Thrift Store

Tags:[M4A][Established Relationship][Strangers to Lovers][Closeted Yandere Speaker][Chill Listener][Second Date][Comedy][Internal Thoughts][Kind of Wholesome][Confession][Reverse Comfort][Thrifting][Cute][Flirting][A Little Unhinged]but[Sweet][CW: Yandere Shenanigans]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:

Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! YouTube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!


Check out the rest of my scripts by using the Script Directory


[Scene opens in the city. You know the one]

[SFX: Footsteps and general city ambiance/chirping birds]

[Malikai meanders down the street, hands stuffed in his pockets and brooding while you wait for him]

OK, date two! Date two! First date went… erm… I mean, OK, I outed myself as a yandere, but it’s fine! It’s fine. They said they were into it! And they agreed to meet again, which…

[Pause]

…Oh God… What if they just said that to get rid of me?! Wait, no! No. Malikai. Dude. Bro. Calm down. If they had wanted to bail, why wouldn’t they have done it when I messed up at the cafe? They could have just made an excuse and blocked me…

[SFX: Him walking/Autumn ambiance and traffic]

[Pause]

…But I confessed to being… what I am… They probably think I’m dangerous, now…

[Pause!]

[Mal jumps as you wave at him from the park bench]

“HOLY-! O-Oh! Oh, you’re actually here!”

[Pause <3]

[He hurries up to you, hands shoved in his pants pocket, visibly shaking]

“I-I’m so glad! I thought you’d abandoned me after last time and part of me was like, ‘Well, duh’ and the other part of me was debating finding out where you live and… U-Uh, nevermind…”

[Pause?]

[He shrugs with a small smile]

“I wasn’t expecting it to be this cold, no… I didn’t really have a coat, I um… I live alone and I don’t leave the house a lot and the house is usually heated… Sorry…”

[Pause?]

“Do I… want to go thrifting for a hoodie? I dunno… Are you sure? Is… Wait, do you want to-?”

[Pause <3]

[He beams nervously]

“Oh! Uh, then I love thrifting! Yes! You, uh, totally stole my idea, haha!”

[Pause…]

[He pouts but takes your hand as you offer it]

“I know, I know… ‘You don’t have to lie or pretend to be into everything I’m into to get me to like you. I already like you, Malikai’. I know… You’re so nice to me, you know that?”

[Pause <3]

[SFX: Cloth shifting]

“U-Uh… Why are you taking your hoodie off? O-Oh!”

[SFX: The Listener dumping their hoodie on Mal’s head]

“Hey! Don’t dump your hoodie on my head! You’re gonna be cold now, you… You, um… Gosh, you’re so pretty…”

[Pause <3]

Wait… Did they just say that I can warm them up while we walk? Oh. Oh, my fuck. Oh my God. This is it, this is how normal people flirt.

[SFX: A knife being drawn and unsheathed]

[...?]

[You turn and find Mal apparently about to gut himself]

[Pause!]

“Wh-? But… But the insides are warmer…?”

[Pause!!]

“Well, sure, I need them to live but… but you’re my life, sweetie~”.

[...]

…OK, too far. Way, way, way too far. Put the knife away you dumb, stupid idiot this isn’t a goddamn weirdly incestuous sci-fi, they don’t want to crawl into your dead body for WARMTH!

[He takes in a breath, tucks the blade away, and offers you an apologetic smile]

“OK, um… Can you please… tell me what… What you’d like me to do? I’m apparently and literally, the worst when it comes to predicting what my date needs from me…”

[Pause <3]

[He nods, cute despite his deranged owl look]

“No self-harm, mhm, got it. OK, so just…put my arm around you like this once I have the hoodie on and… that’s good?”

[SFX: Cloth shuffling]

[He pulls on your hoodie and puts his arm around, seeming to light right back up]

“Wow… Your hoodie smells like you…”

[Pause?]

“Uh, sorry. Right, arm’s around you and… we’re walking!”

[SFX: And we’re walking!/City ambiance]

*OK… OK, they’re leaning into us… They didn’t run for the hills when we almost disemboweled ourselves… fucking SMOOTH, by the way! You dense idiot! They’re being chill now but it’s all going to fall apart… I’ll push too hard… *

“Please don’t leave me!”

[Pause???]

[SFX: A traffic stop button being pressed/the crosswalk chirping]

Are you high?! Are you stupid AND high?!???!

[Mal flounders as you cross the busy street together]

[Pause??]

“N-No, I’m good… I just, ah… You pulled your hand away for a second and I got… a little spooked, haha. Just a little spooked…”

[Pause <3]

“Yeah! There’s Tabby Cat’s Thrift up two blocks from here. I think the couple that owns it retired back to some small town, but the owners are always fixing up electronics and stuff. I think the husband prints stickers for charities or something, but I’m not sure… I only met them a few times.”

[Pause?]

[He lets out a nervous chuckle]

“What do I thrift for? Pfft… Shoes, usually…”

[Pause?]

[SFX: A door chime/ appropriately sullen store music (Note, it’d probably sound very Hot Topic-esque/goth club inside]

“Erm, not running shoes or sneakers, per se… It’s just hard to find heels in men’s sizes, you know?”

[Pause?]

[He turns an impressive red, eyes wide]

“F-For cosplay! Y-Yeah… Cosplay.”

[Pause <3]

[He pouts, still clinging to your hand as you mosey about]

“I know, I know, you don’t judge… It’s one of the things I really love about you. I just… I don’t want to say something to mess it all up, you know? I spend so much time online reading about loser guys that fucked up a good thing because they cheated or were mean or… yeah.”

[SFX: Hangers/clothes being shifted through]

[Pause?]

“Um… Yeah, I want to get married someday.”

[Pause?]

“No on kids, for now… I want to be in a better mental space first, you know?”

[Pause]

“Definitely monogamy.”

[Pause]

“Well, I work from home, so if we did have kids, then I could stay home with them, so long as you gave me breaks and helped out with some chores…”

[Pause?]

[SFX: More thrift hoodie explorations]

“Fifty-fifty on finances and bills, separate accounts with one joint account. A prenup is preferable but not necessarily a dealbreaker… If I married you and it fell apart, I wouldn’t care what happened to the stuff…”

[Pause?]

“Hell no I wouldn’t take my mother’s side of yours for any unreasonable reason! If I marry you, you are my priority, no matter what!”

[Pause <3]

[He blinks as you hold up a cute hoodie for him]

“...It’s a nice hoodie, yeah… Did we just plan out our future together in under two minutes without fighting at all?”

[Pause!]

...Don’t do it. Don’t you try and kiss them… I don’t care if you’re feeling a kind of way, don’t-

[Mal leans down and kisses you, nearly knocking you back into the clothing rack. He’s desperate but relents when you flail a bit]

“O-Oh! I’m sorry! I got carried away and kissed you, aaaa, oh no, oh geeze, I’m so sorry-!”

[...<3]

[Again, he turns red as you comfort him]

...This is it. They’re the One. MY One! But… maybe I should ask something…?

“Hey, um… Can I ask a question, now?”

[Pause!]

“...Would… you still like me, even if I weren’t… you know… a yandere?”

[Pause]

[He ponders your simple ‘Yes, dummy’ for a moment before he smiles again]

“...You did show up for the first date without knowing, true… It’s like you said. You came for me.”

[Pause <3]

Phrasing, you tart…

[Pause >;3]

[He short circuits, holding the hoodie up to measure it]

“Ah… I just, um…”

YES THEY HAVE A FILTHY SENSE OF HUMOR, MARRY THEM, MARRY THEM RIGHT NOW!

[You pat his arm and he giggles nervously]

“OK, OK… I’ll get the hoodie. It does feel really soft… What do you want to do after…?”

[Pause <3]

[He smiles gently]

“You know what…? ‘Whatever’ sounds like a real nice time.”

[You grab the hoodie and head up to the counter. It’s shaping up to be a nice day]

[SFX: Fade out on them checking out]

[To be continued?]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: For those who caught it, yeah, I know what I did >;3

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1 year ago