Part 2

Context: You matched with a sweet man named Malikai on a dating site. After chatting online for a few months, you've decided to actually go out on your first date with him. He's super sweet, if a little eccentric. You're sure you'll have a nice time.

Setting: Cafe Carnivale/A city street

Tags:[M4A][Established Relationship][Strangers to Lovers][Closeted Yandere Speaker][Chill Listener][First Date][Comedy][Internal Thoughts][Kind of Wholesome][Confession][Reverse Comfort][Reveal][Cute][Flirting][Jealous][A Little Unhinged]but[Sweet][CW: Yandere Shenanigans]

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[Scene opens on a city street nearby a cute cafe]

[SFX: Footsteps/city ambiance]

[A young man hurries down the street toward a cafe, looking nervous]

OK, OK, OK… Easy. You can do this. Just remember: sniffing people is weird, even if they smell like Heaven itself, don’t kill the waiter if they smile at your date, and don’t fixate…

[SFX: Footsteps/city ambiance]

Let’s see… Cafe Carnivale should be right-OH FUCK THEY’RE ALREADY HERE?!

“...shit.”

[You sit at a table on the outside patio, sipping your water. Your blind date should be here soon. In fact…]

Fuck, shit, damnit, ass, oh no, oh crap, oh beans, oh… Of course, they like to be early, they said, and I love that, oh, I love that detail because it makes us the same and… Wait… Are they waving at me…?

[You wave at him and smile. He’s a lot cuter in real life, though it looks like he hasn’t slept recently…]

SHIT. OK, OK, it’s fine, it’s cool, Mal, it’s cool, it’s fine… Just casually cross the street…

[SFX: Very shaky, hurried footsteps/alarmed horns blaring]

[You watch as he hurries across the street, casually dodging cars like he was a frog in a former life]

“H-Hi!”

[He hops the gate to the patio and sits by you in a somewhat fluid movement]

[Pause!]

“Uh… Oh… I guess… I s-should have gone through the front of the cafe instead of jumping the patio gate. Now the waiters are looking at me like I’m nuts… Sorry, uh, I just got so excited seeing you for the first time in person! We’ve been chatting for months now and… It’s surreal.”

[SFX: A chair squeak]

[You stand and go to hug him, smiling]

THEY’RE COMING IN FOR A HUG, EVERYONE STAY CALM!!!

“Oh! A hug? S-Sure… Bring it in, haha…”

[You hug. He smells very… minty]

…They’re so soft and sweet… Oh, listen to those little happy sounds they make under their breath. Don’t sniff them, Malikai, just be normal. Be. Fucking. Normal…

[Pause?]

[You two sit together and he exhales shakily]

“My morning? It’s been… cool and normal… Yours?”

[Pause <3]

“Aww… I’m sorry it was a little rough. Maybe a pumpkin muffin might cheer up my Pumpkin?”

[Pause <3]

Nice! You made them smile… They’re so pretty, oh my god. I am obsessed with you, I am OBSESSED with you, I love you so much, I want to-

[SFX: Footsteps approaching]

[The waiter approaches and Mal tenses]

“Oh! Uh… Yes, hello… ‘Sky’? Sorry, am I reading your name tag right? Sorry. Yeah, I um, just got here… Could I just get a large cappuccino? A-And a pumpkin muffin?”

[Pause…]

“Oh… You’re out of the muffins…”

[Mal’s right-hand grips the butter knife by his plate tightly. He forces a smile]

“Well! That’s… disappointing…”

Don’t lose it don’t lose it don’t lose it it’s not ‘Sky’s’ fault they have no pumpkin muffins but he’s also good-looking and maybe he’s trying to sabotage me?! IS HE INTO MY BABY?!!?

[Pause]

“H-Huh?”

[Pause <3]

“Oh! Y-yeah, banana bread is good, too. Good idea, sweetie.”

…you fucking idiot you just called them ‘Sweetie’, what is WRONG with you?! This is our first date!

[Pause]

[You put in your order and the waiter takes his leave. When you look back at Malikai, he seems tense]

[Pause?]

“Huh? Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to check out, there. I’m not… great with conflict… Even muffin-sized conflict. A-Also, sorry for calling you ‘sweetie’, I, um… I’m bad at this.”

[Pause]

[He gives you that shy smile]

“I-I know… You always say that I can be myself with you, b-but I’m awkward and… other things, you know? Like, when we matched on that dumb dating site, and y-you actually talked to me like I’m a person… It was nice, you know?”

[Pause]

[He laughs sheepishly]

“O-OK, I know, I can be a bit much… I didn’t mean to send a hundred roses to your office on your birthday, I promise! I-It was meant to be ten!”

You filthy liar. Lying liar lie boy! You LIE!!!!

[Pause <3]

“Heh… I guess I did also make a bunch of sweet old ladies feel pretty since you were nice enough to hand roses out… Y-You’re so nice, you know? It’s something I really love about you.”

[Pause <3]

…Did I just tell them that I love them? Fuck. FUCK. I can’t remember, I just said it three seconds ago?!? But looking into their eyes… Their eyes are up there, STOP!

[Pause?]

“Y-Yeah, I’m OK! I think I’m just getting a bit of a… high? From finally meeting you in person…”

[Pause <3]

[SFX: Footsteps approaching and plates being set down]

Great… the pretty boy is back.

“Uh, yeah, I had the cappuccino. Thanks…”

…stop smiling at them, you ponytail-having, stinking-of-hemp, probably working toward a theater degree fuck boy!

[Pause!]

[SFX: Footsteps retreating]

“Mmmh… He… seems… nice.”

[Pause <3]

[Mal looks at you like you gave him the most flattering compliment in history]

“You came here f-for me, not him? Aww… You always know what to say to make me feel really good a-and sure about myself. I really appreciate it…”

[SFX: Footsteps approaching]

[The waiter comes back. Before he can really open his mouth, you see Mal slam the knife into the table, managing to stab a butter knife through several inches of wood]

[SFX: A table being murdered]

“OK, you know what, SKY? We do not need anything else right now, so could you kindly give us a few minutes where you’re NOT staring at my fucking DATE!?!?!”

[...]

[SFX: Footsteps rapidly retreating]

[The waiter hurriedly retreats and you see Mal go from glowering to being nearly in tears]

…good job, idiot

“I… I’m so sorry, I just…”

[Pause…?]

[He bows his head, shoulders shaking]

“...I’m not OK, no…”

[He holds his head, sniffling weakly]

“...I’m not normal… I have a shrine of you, I have your pictures all over my walls, even one in my wallet… Also, I’ve really had to try my best not to sniff you, which is weird. It’s super weird. I’m… super weird…”

[Pause…?]

[He sighs and nods]

“...I’m a Yandere, yeah.”

[...]

They aren’t saying anything… Godamnit, Malikai, why did you have to ruin the best thing that-

[Pause]

[He pauses, looking at you in disbelief]

“Joke’s on me…? Why?”

[Pause!]

[His eyes widen, almost kitten-like in how they sparkle with admiration]

“...Y-You’re… into that shit?”

[Pause <3]

…oh my God

“Oh my God… You’re PERFECT!”

[Pause <3]

“Oh my God, oh my god, oh my god, you want to just, like, get married, right now?!”

[...]

“Right,.right, too much… Um… How about we… take a… walk… together?”

[Pause <3]

[You take his hand and he makes a litany of excited yan-yan noises]

“...Thank you for being so patient with me… I’m doing my best to be Malikai on the streets-”.

[Pause? <3]

[He goes red, laughing nervously]

“And yandere in the sheets, yeah… You get me~”.

[Pause?]

“Y-Yeah… Here, let me put d-down some money and we can go somewhere else.”

[SFX: Him tucking some money under his untouched cappuccino cup]

“They’re probably trying to harass the manager into kicking me out anyways… Fuck it, early morning breakfast buffet, my treat?”

[Pause!]

[He smiles and kneels]

“Here, let me kneel so I can help you get over the gate. Hup!”

[SFX: The gate rattling/pause/the gate rattling again]

[You both hop the gate and hurry off with some nervous giggles, heading toward the Egghole Buffet together]

[Pause?]

“...I do feel better now that I can be myself with you, yeah… Can I hold your hand, please?”

[You offer your hand and he takes it with a very muted squeal of delight]

…I think I just won the Yandere lottery…

[SFX: Fade out on city ambiance]

[To be continued?]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Be warned, if you ask for more of them, it will be almost 100% fluff comedy. Malikai may be Yandere in the sheets but he’s about at Dez’s level on the streets <3