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[Artificial SFX]

(Verbal SFX)

*Non-Spoken Context*

|Character Speaking|

Judgment

|Order|

So we are in agreement then?

|Chaos|

I’ve been telling you that from the beginning! Those monsters are a blight!

|Order|

Yes, but I fear we are still not in agreement as to why they are so flawed.

|Chaos|

I hardly think that matters.

|Order|

I disagree.

|Chaos|

And just like that, we’re back in conflict. All because you can’t sweep a few details under the rug!

|Order|

You know I can’t do that.

|Chaos|

We both know you could.

|Order|

I will not go back into this argument again! There is a process that even we must abide by!

|Chaos|

So you keep telling me.

|Order|

Don’t take that tone with me. I could not deceive you any more than you I. There are rules, and we must follow them.

|Chaos|

And that’s why we can never agree on anything. The rules we must follow, and the rules we must follow aren’t the same thing. Case and point, I summoned the accused ages ago.

|Order|

You did what?

|Chaos|

Don’t act like you didn’t hear me. I selected a human to stand trial and brought it before us somewhere after the ten thousandth time we almost came to an agreement.

|Order|

You didn’t.

|Chaos|

I did! And believe it or not, the universe isn’t crumbling because I worked a little bit outside the lines. Oh, and what’s this?

(gasp)

Despite having been in our presence before we reached a unanimous front, this human’s head hasn’t exploded! Who could have guessed?

|Order|

Do not speak to me as if you think I am that foolish. You know as well as I that the human’s head was never going to explode! But now that it’s heard more than it was meant to, its testimony will be biased!

|Chaos|

It was going to be biased either way!

|Order|

It could not have been dishonest if it hadn’t known what to mask with deceit! That is exactly why we must present a uniform judge when observing the subjects!

|Chaos|

Oh please. The humans might be dumb, but they still fear death. It was going to plead for life either way.

|Order|

You don’t know that.

|Chaos|

Well then, by all means, let’s find out.

|Order|

By electing a new candidate?

|Chaos|

No, by examining this one!

(clear throat)

Human. We who have watched all, have found your species lacking! If you cannot prove to us that you are deserving of the energy you expend, then you will be wiped away, to never burden the universe again! How do you plead?

*listener responds*

See? Told you.

|Order|

That questioning was beyond lopsided! Of course when you say it like that the human would defend their species! If you actually attempted to be fair for once, you would garner a different response!

|Chaos|

Well, now I disagree. We’ve come full circle.

|Order|

No, we have not. While you may have greatly tarnished our investigation, I may still recover it. It’s not as if I have no experience cleaning up your messes.

|Chaos|

I’ve told you time and time again, what I do is clean. You are the one making a mess.

|Order|

We are not discussing this in front of the accused. Be silent, and allow me to finish what you squandered.

(clear throat)

Human. We have been watching your species grow for a long time. You’ve done plenty of good, but it’s so often poisoned by what comes with it. We think that a time has come to let a new era usher in. Would you be willing to step aside for the future?

|Chaos|

Now, who’s weighing the dice? You can’t honestly plan to make a species-wide genocide sound noble, can you?

|Order|

If not noble, then what would you call it?

|Chaos|

Necessary.

|Order|

Whether it is necessary is still to be decided.

|Chaos|

Only in the sense that we have not done it yet. We’ve already come to a conclusion. More than once! You just need to get over the fact that we don’t see eye to eye on why.

|Order|

As I said, I can’t do that.

|Chaos|

Can too.

|Order|

Can not! We-!

*listener interjects*

What was that, human?

*listener repeats*

Firstly, you would do well not to interrupt our conversation.

|Chaos|

Actually, I’m all for you blurting in. It just makes our case stronger.

|Order|

No, it doesn’t! Not intrinsically, at least. How disrespectful this one is doesn’t translate into how much its brood is disrupting the universe.

|Chaos|

Then let’s hear what it has to say, shall we? Creature. Speak.

*listener comments*

You did not just say that to me.

|Order|

(chuckle)

Oh, it very much did. And I do have to give the little thing points for consistency.

|Chaos|

Don’t you talk about consistency! It went on for minutes silent and scared! It’s more tumultuous than a raging storm.

|Order|

Is that an admittance that you picked a specimen unfairly?

|Chaos|

Oh please. You know I wouldn’t do that.

|Order|

Well then, I see no reason not to let it continue.

|Chaos|

Fine.

|Order|

Human? Why don’t you tell us about yourself, hm?

*listener speaks*

Is that so?

*listener continues*

Truly?

|Chaos|

Don’t feign interest. It’s unbecoming.

|Order|

I am doing no such thing.

|Chaos|

Is that so?

|Order|

I don’t know what you think you’re implying, but I’ll-

*listener interrupts*

Did you just… interrupt me again, human?

|Chaos|

(snicker)

|Order|

And you! You were baiting them to do it, weren’t you?

|Chaos|

Maybe a little.

|Order|

Of all the things you could do, this is the most unprofessional use of an official passing of judgment you could have possibly chosen.

|Chaos|

Oh, boo-hoo. The ever-so-sacred passing of judgment that is entirely arbitrated by us, is getting upheaved. Whatever will we do?

*listener states*

I’m sorry, what was that, human?

*listener repeats*

|Order|

See? It’s not all fun and games when it’s impeding you, now is it?

|Chaos|

I won’t be hearing that from you. I need to remind this human of its place.

|Order|

You will be doing no such thing.

|Chaos|

Oh yes, I will. We’ve already agreed that humanity’s good to go, so I’m kickstarting this. But don’t worry human, I’ll make sure to return you just long enough so that you can tell everyone the end of the world is all your fault.

*listener asserts*

|Order|

(laugh)

And even when you bluster, the human doesn’t back down! I think I may like this one.

|Chaos|

Do not even begin to tell me you’ve actually decided to change your mind.

|Order|

I may have just.

|Chaos|

That’s it. Human, it’s time for you to go. We have something to discuss.

*listener begins*

|Order|

So sorry on this one human, but I do have to stop you too. Your trial session is over. You’ve said all you’re allowed. Be grateful that you will get to hear of our decision before your kin.

*listener complains*

|Chaos|

Ha! Even after all your defense, it still spurns you! And after it’s “official time” is up! Thanks, human, you’ve made this an easy decision.

*listener speaks*

Nope! I won’t have that sharp tongue turned on me! You’re going back to your home, and we’re making a ruling. Buh-bye.

*pause*

[knock]

[door opens]

|Order|

Hello again, human.

|Chaos|

Did you miss us?

*listener speaks*

Well, we were thinking about all the lovely little things you said, and we came to a conclusion.

|Order|

We believe we need a larger query session.

*listener questions*

We think you lent a unique position to our judgment, and that we should spend some time with you to better grasp humanity.

|Chaos|

Or to say it plainly, you’re the first accused to stand up to us, and we want to know what makes you tick.

*listener objects*

|Order|

We understand that you may be apprehensive to this process, but we hoped you’d be willing to give it a shot. After all, the current verdict is still complete destruction. If you want to change that, then you don’t have much of a choice.

|Chaos|

So what do you say, human? Are you willing to house a couple of especially judgmental entities? Or do we need to take, drastic measures?

|Order|

Wonderful.

|Chaos|

I knew you’d come around.

|Order|

So, what will we be doing first?