Context: You are the right-hand of the Silvestri family, a supernatural mobster family that handles espionage and sabotage, as well as intel. You and the family's head, Antonio Silvestri, are on your way to interrogate another crime lord about especially dangerous cultists. However, you've got a third passenger on this mission - Cy, an interdimensional god in the care of Enzo Agosti. Despite being a thousand in her world, she's only fourteen here, and your boss won't let her forget it... even though, maybe, he should.

Setting: A van/a bar

Tags:[MFM4A][Mafia Don Speaker][Eldritch Teenage Girl God Speaker][Crime Lord Speaker][Crime Syndicate Listener][Comedy][Dark Humor][Many Lore Drops][Supernatural][Argument][Mild Horror][Blackmail][Favorite Uncle][CW: Threats of Violence/Dark Implications/Actual Violence/Gunshots]

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[A] = Antonio Silvestri

[C] = Cy

[J] = Mr. Juarez

[Scene opens within a very nice van]

[SFX: A van cruising along/light music]

[You’re riding shotgun in a very nice van, a mafia don to your left, and an Eldritch being making especially grumpy sounds from the back]

[A] “Holding up alright back there in your little car seat?”

[...]

[A] “I’m not antagonizing her, it’s an honest question.”

[Said Eldritch being glares at you both, stewing and seething despite her neutral expression]

[C] “I am five foot even in your stupid Earth measurements. You put me in a car seat, and you have the audacity to ask how I’m holding up.”

[You can feel the malice, even from there]

[A] “It’s just the law, Cyreina.”

[C] “Cy.”

[Tony rolls his eyes]

[A] “Bunny, I hope you’re ready for our meeting with Mr. Juarez?”

[Pause!]

[C] “Meeting, huh?”

[A] “Yes. We have a brief meeting to conduct with an associate. Then, we’ll go and get you your damned school supplies… Why couldn’t Agosti just let you go on your own?”

[Pause…]

[A] “Fourteen or not, aren’t you meant to be some kind of transdimensional god?”

[C] “One that’s going to find a way to kiss your Dad if you don’t get me out of this car seat-”.

[A] “Mhmm, that’s nice. Driver, there’s the bar. Pull on over, please.”

[You side-eye Cy again. She is making a point to glare daggers into your boss’s skull]

[SFX: The car pulling over/parking]

[A] “Here we are… Look, kid-”.

[C] “Cy.”

[A] “-even if you’re a thousand years old on your side of the dimensional rift, you’re fourteen here on Earth, and that means you have to listen to your elders.”

[Pause]

[C] “I literally, factually do not.”

[...]

[A] “Yes… You technically shouldn’t be allowed in a bar, either, but I have enough pull that you should be fine. Just stick close and don’t open that smart little mouth of yours.”

[She seethes but stays quiet]

[SFX: The trio walking in/street ambiance fading into bar music]

[You walk in and notice there are about ten people in the bar, including the bartender. Some of them briefly look at you, then double-take at the sight of your boss and Cy]

[A] “Mr. Juarez! Didn’t know you did any bartending.”

[The imposing man behind the counter smiles]

[J] “Have to keep busy, eh? Uh… Did you have a kid? Or… abduct a kid?”

[C] “Hiss.”

[J] “...A kid that says ‘hiss’ in a flat, monotone voice?”

[A] “Enough… You know why we’re here, Mr. Juarez. You have information that I need on some particularly stubborn cultists… So, what is it going to take to get that information, hm?”

[Something feels off to you]

[Pause…]

[J] “I haven’t the slightest idea of what you mean, Tony.”

[A] “Cut the shit, Julio.”

[SFX: A lot of guns being trained/cocked]

[Your instincts, unfortunately, prove true. Tony’s eyes sweep calmly around as every ‘patron’ draws a weapon and aims at the three of you]

[A] “... Of course it’s an ambush. Never can do this the easy way, can you?”

[J, chuckling] “You and your side piece would already be dead… You’re just lucky that I have a soft spot for kids. I’ll be sure to escort her out before we put you two in the ground.”

[Pause]

[C] “Alright, that’s enough.”

[SFX: A very quick ghostly wail/a lot of thuds as bodies hit the floor]

[You watch as multiple ghostly hands and harms burst from the shadows and sidewind each of the thugs in the bar]

[J] “...Tony, you didn’t mention bringing a godamned necromancer to this little arrangement! The Hell kind of power do you need to summon ghostly hands out of the floors and walls to haymaker people?!”

[Pause…]

[A] “You didn’t mention trying to ambush us, to be fair...”

[SFX: A gun being cocked]

[C] “All of you, shut up. You-”.

[She points the pistol at Mr. Juarez who quickly put his hands up]

[C] Start talking or I shoot.”

[...]

[You never thought you’d seen an actual Old West shootout in real life, but stranger things have happened. You swear you can hear a hawk cry overhead, despite being in a bar]

[J] “Hmph… Your threats don’t scare me, little girl. You don’t have it in you to kill someone.”

[C] “Yeah?”

[SFX: A gunshot]

[J] “GAH! My shoulder!”

[The crime lord winds back, holding his shoulder in pain]

[C] “Try me.”

[Pause!]

[A] “Cyreina-!”

[C] “Shut up.”

[To your surprise, Tony does shut up, as does Juarez]

[C] “Thank you. Now, while you’re entirely wrong about my murderous nature, you are right that I don’t really want to kill you. I want you to talk so I can leave, get my time with this idiot over with, and eat fast food. With that in mind, the longer you fight this, the more irritated I’m going to get. I’m not going to kill you. I will ruin you, however.”

[You and Tony exchange worried looks]

[Pause]

[J] “...I beg your, nngh, pardon?”

[Pause]

[C] “A slight adjustment to the left, the bullet will pierce your clavicle. It won’t kill you, but the bone will not sit right. The pain will be minimal, at first, while you heal yourself with opioids. But then it won’t work anymore and you’ll notice it. Always there, never settling, making every single movement agony for you, and no amount of surgeries, drugs, or magic will save you.”

[J] “W-Wh-”.

[A] “Uhh…”

[Pause…]

[C] “I could graze the temple instead, give you minor brain damage. Any lover will leave you eventually when your behavior becomes erratic. You will always look stupid to anyone and everyone. A clown, without make-up.”

[J] “A-Antonio…?”

[Antonio starts to answer but Cy cuts him off]

[C] “You are speaking with me, Mr. Juarez. Not him.”

[The criminal lord stares at her, then Antonio, then you. You shrug, helpless]

[Pause…]

[J] “I-I… I have nothing to say to you. Any of you!”

[Without hesitation, she aims the pistol at the closest man splayed out on her left]

[J] “W-Wait! Don’t point your gun at that man!”

[C] “You precious thing, you honestly think you can lie to me, don’t you? Here’s what may happen: I shoot this man right in a vital artery, but in just such a way that it will take him approximately four minutes and seven seconds to bleed out. I am more than aware that this man is your younger brother, Sammy, and you’re fond of him.”

[...]

[A] “...how do you know that, Cyreina?”

[SFX: A sting of dark magic]

[Her eyes flash with a burning blue light as she looks in Antonio’s direction]

[C] “Cy. I asked you to call me Cy.”

[A] “...How do you know that, Cy.”

[Pause]

[SFX: Another dark magic sting]

[She turns her eyes back on Mr. Juarez and he visibly flinches as she very matter-of-factly says:]

[C] “...Your mom’s name was Gretchen. Right?”

[...]

[J, gawping] “How did you…?”

[Cy offers a rare smile and it is immensely shark-like]

[C] “She says, ‘Hi’.”

[...]

[A] “Jesus Christ…”

[C] “He hasn’t said anything. Now, Mr. Juarez, here’s what is going to happen. You’re going to give us the information we want. You’re going to grab your goons and take them to get proper medical care, maybe offer them some significant raises for having to have this experience. Then, you’re going to remember your place. Or, and listen carefully, I’m going to make sure you live in regret for the rest of your life. Constant, unending, agony. Understand?”

[The once imposing man just nods, pale as a ghost]

[J] “I-I… I’ll have the documents sent… Please let me go home now. Please?”

[Pause…]

[A] “I think it was a wise choice, too, Bunny.”

[SFX: Juarez gathering his men and leaving]

[Note: If you want it to be more comedic than creepy, I’d recommend having Juarez cleaning slowly up in the BG during the entire remaining duration of the script. VA’s discretion!]

[SFX: A pistol being dismantled]

[Cy takes the gun apart, still with that neutral expression]

[A] “A-Ahem… Good job on getting the information, Cy. But we’re going to need to have a talk about-”.

[C] “Do you want to say hi to Mr. Agosti?”

[A] “W-What??”

[Cy holds her phone up]

[C] “I’m calling him to report a successful mission. Do you want to say hi?”

[A] “Hang up, right now!”

[Pause!]

[C] “I haven’t even dialed yet… Why so upset? Aren’t you two horn for each other?”

[A, flustered] “We have a complex history, thank you!”

[C] “You literally could have said, ‘Yes’, and it would have meant the same.”

[Pause…]

[C] “Sooo… why are you butt hurt? Pun intended.”

[A, desperate] “If Enzo knows I took you on a dangerous mission like this and all of this happened, I will NEVER hear the end of it! Every Christmas party! Every birthday! Every ‘game night’, I’ll hear about it! ‘Wehh, Tony, how could you let my baby girl torture a man, I’m such a softie and I care and I’m a good Dad, bleehhh!’.”

[C] “Why was ‘game night’ said like that.”

[A] “...please don’t tell Agosti.”

[Pause…]

[Antonio nods at you with a sigh]

[A] “...What are your terms?”

[Pause]

[C] “My terms are this. You will offer me respect moving forward. You will treat me as a part of the crew, not a niece you enjoy bullying because you have some weird thing with her Dad. You will supply me with an income monthly, and you will match it in savings. I will also reserve the right to demand an ‘Uncle’s Day’, at my discretion, where you will take me shopping for things I enjoy, so you may rue your decision ever to insult me with a ‘car seat’.”

[Pause]

[C] “And Bunny can come, too.”

[Pause <3]

[A] “...How much are we talking?”

[C] “Eleven thousand.”

[A] “...Reasonable. Can I expect that if I treat you like an associate and need your very obvious and horrifying talents, that will be a separate rate?”

[C] “Correct.”

[A] “How often do we meet to discuss renegotiations?”

[C] “As needed.”

[A] “And you promise you won’t tell Agosti?”

[C] “Yes.”

[They shake hands]

[Pause…]

[C] “Oh, I haven’t forgotten the car seat, Bunny… And I doubt I ever will. Nor will you, Mr. Silvestri. Will you?”

[Antonio nods, even paler, somehow. She turns to you but you hold your ground]

[C] “...Bunny?”

[Pause?]

[C, with a stern nod] “You’re cool.”

[Pause!]

[You shake hands with the tiny terror before you both head back out to the car]

[C] “We’re going to get fast food, idiot, let’s go.”

[Antonio Silvestri, one of the most powerful men on the planet, simply nods with a weak:]

[A] “Hmph… Next time, Donnie can watch you…”

[SFX: The van driving off / fade out]

[The End???]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Antonio will never how close he came to death that day, saved only by a 10-piece McNuggy meal and a fashion trip with Bunny.

Second note: Donnie and Cy are never allowed to conspire together after the Pantaloon incident.