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Context: You were with him for nearly eight years. He wore his feelings on his sleeve while you tended to be more guarded, garnering something of an 'Ice Queen' nickname. It all came to a head when his lifestyle got too dangerous, and you broke up. You wish you could get through to him that you do care... you just don't want to watch his own lifestyle kill him. He can't see it but... it might not matter anymore, regardless. Or...?
Setting: A hospital
Tags:[M4A][Tsundere Ex-Boyfriend Speaker][Kuudere Ex-Partner Listener][Break-up][Sacrifice][Remorseful][Bitter][Hurt][Confession][Saving Him][Crying/Regret][L-Bombs][Good Ending][Supportive][Reverse Comfort][Comfort][A Chance?][CW: Drive-By Shooting/Angst]
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[Scene opens in the hospital]
[SFX: Very faint chatter]
[Your eyes flicker open after Lord knows how many days of being out. You can hear your ex-boyfriend saying somethingā¦]
ā...Itās going to be OK.ā
[You think thatās what it is]
āItās OK, itās OK, itāsā¦ā
[His voice cracks. From how hoarse he sounds, it sounds like heās been crying]
ā-last payment on the ring, tooā¦ I had just made the last paymentā¦ I was going to propose, but then you burst into tears and said, āI canāt watch you dieā. And, naturally, I had to be a dick because thatās my only state of being, and I just yelled and yelled until you kicked me outā¦ā
[...]
[He jolts]
āBaby?! Baby!!ā
[He hugs you and you hold in a pained groan]
[SFX: A well-meaning embrace]
āBabyā¦ Oh, my babyā¦Youāre awakeā¦!ā
[Pauseā¦?]
āWhat happenedā¦ā
[He exhales through his nose, not moving away from you at all]
ā...They arrested the shooterā¦ Some amateur local drug dealerā¦ Apparently, Carlos told him that I had his money to avoid that same gun. Theyāre both in custody, now.ā
[...]
ā...Youāre safe, now. Butā¦ But you got shot three times, once in the spineā¦ The doctor said you were probably going to have to learn to walk again. B-Butā¦ But he also said there was a chance youādā¦ never wake upā¦ā
[...]
[He lets out an odd mix of a sob and a laugh]
āSeriously? Youāre worried about me? The guy that almost ruined your life??ā
[Pause!]
ā...Iām fine, baby. Iāmā¦ You saved me.ā
[Pauseā¦?]
ā...I have been crying a lot, yeahā¦ I didnāt know what else to do while I sat by your side. I even tried calling Dad, but got a ānew number, who thisā? Ughā¦ Guess I know where I got my āpiece of shitā genes from, eh?ā
[Pause <3]
āHehā¦ If I was a piece of shit, I wouldnāt be here, huh? Damnā¦ā
[...]
ā...Can I h-hold your handā¦ Please?ā
[You nod]
āThank youā¦ Christ, Iā¦ I canāt even begin to tell you how much of a relief it is just to hear your voice againā¦ To see you open your eyes, pretend like I didnāt hug a little too hard, just like alwaysā¦ā
[Pause <3]
[He takes your hand and gently squeezes it, shaking violently]
ā...I-Iām soā¦ā
[...]
[Heās barely able to speak as he holds your hand]
āIām so sorryā¦ I understandā¦ I-I understand, nowā¦ You werenāt angry, you were scared, you were scared for me, scared this exact thing would happenā¦ And it didā¦ If you hadnāt pushed me, I-Iā¦ā
[P-Pauseā¦]
[He nods, tears spilling down his cheeks]
āNo no no, donātā¦ donāt apologize! You were right to break up with me, Jesus Christ! Watching you bleed outā¦ Twitch like that, thatā¦ finality in your eyesā¦ If I put you through this if it had been you watching me dieā¦ I understand, and Iām so sorry, babyā¦ā
[Pauseā¦]
[SFX: Fill-in of hospital ambiance]
ā...I was so sureā¦ the doctors were so sure that you wouldnāt make itā¦ They said it was a fifty-fifty chance, at best, and there were two times you flatlined a-andā¦ I had never been more afraid and helpless in my entire lifeā¦ I remember my eyes just darting around the room to see ifā¦ I donāt know, I could spot the Grim Reaper and fight him! Or demand he take me instead, justā¦ something! But I was totally powerlessā¦ā
[A sob escapes him]
[Pauseā¦?]
ā...They said Iā¦ I-I might need to start making funeral preparationsā¦ Especially after I told him that youāre estranged from your family. That it was justā¦ us. I think I almost started a fight with them, then and there. I was fucking livid that theyād even suggest you werenāt going to make it! They donāt know you! They donāt know how damned strong you areā¦ Hmph. If they did, they would have known you were just taking your time cause you like to sleep in, right?ā
[...]
ā...You donāt need to thank me for not giving up on you, babyā¦ I never had, have, or willā¦ā
[More sobs rack him, to the point where it sounds painful]
ā...Iām so sorry I was such an asshole to youā¦ I justā¦ I thoughtā¦ I thought they were my friendsā¦ Friends donāt fuck you over, they donāt try and get you addicted, and they sure as shit donāt attack the love of your lifeā¦ But when youāre in so deep, you justā¦ Youāre garbage, so you may as well act it, you know?ā
[Pauseā¦]
ā...I know you never saw me as trashā¦ Youāre the only one who didnātā¦ And youāre the only one who has ever loved me enough to risk your lifeā¦ No one has ever loved me like you love me. When I was holding you in my arms, you gave meā¦ the tiniest little smile. It was sad butā¦ but like you were sad for me, not yourself. Like you knew that Iād be left hurting once you were goneā¦ ā
[Pauseā¦]
[He holds your hand, rubbing his thumb along the skin gently]
ā...Please donāt make me go away until youāre better, OK? Please? You need physical therapy and care and Iām not going to just abandon you againā¦ā
[Pauseā¦?]
āNoā¦ The police found the guy that shot at us like I said. The rest of the āgangā is laying lowā¦ They donāt claim him, I guessā¦ But I donāt claim them anymore, either. Iām hereā¦ OK? I love you. Even if you hate me, even if we never get back together, even if you tell me to get the fuck out of your life afterā¦ I still love you, OK?ā
[...<3]
[He smiles shakily]
ā...I know you love me, tooā¦ You big dummy. Cāmon, you gotta start getting better taste in men, you know?ā
[Pause? <3]
[He laughs quietly]
āAny I can recommend? Pfft. Not ones that would still be alive if they hit on you in front of me, but Iām sure one will come along someday thatāll be too big for me to take a swing at. That one, you can keep. I guess.ā
[Pause <3]
[He chuckles weakly and rests his head on the hospital bed, looking exhausted]
ā...Do you thinkā¦ thereās a chanceā¦? For us, I mean? I know itās a lot to ask, and you probably donāt even want to think about it right now, but Iā¦ā
[...<3]
[He exhales shakily and shuts his eyes]
āOKā¦ I love you, sweetheartā¦ā
[Pause <3]
āMā not a sleepy boy, you hushā¦ā
[He yawns, fighting, but not hard]
ā...Never leave me again, OK?... Please?ā
[Pause]
[He sighs again, barely able to whisper:]
āThank youā¦ā
[Heās out, doing that cute little snore that used to annoy you before you decided it was sort of adorable. You rest a hand on the crown of his head, and try to find more sleep, as well]
[...]
[Itās going to be OK]
[The End]
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