Part 1 Part 2

Context: You were with him for nearly eight years. He wore his feelings on his sleeve while you tended to be more guarded, garnering something of an 'Ice Queen' nickname. It all came to a head when his lifestyle got too dangerous, and you broke up. You wish you could get through to him that you do care... you just don't want to watch his own lifestyle kill him. He can't see it but... it might not matter anymore, regardless. Or...?

Setting: A hospital

Tags:[M4A][Tsundere Ex-Boyfriend Speaker][Kuudere Ex-Partner Listener][Break-up][Sacrifice][Remorseful][Bitter][Hurt][Confession][Saving Him][Crying/Regret][L-Bombs][Good Ending][Supportive][Reverse Comfort][Comfort][A Chance?][CW: Drive-By Shooting/Angst]

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[Scene opens in the hospital]

[SFX: Very faint chatter]

[Your eyes flicker open after Lord knows how many days of being out. You can hear your ex-boyfriend saying something…]

“...It’s going to be OK.”

[You think that’s what it is]

“It’s OK, it’s OK, it’s…”

[His voice cracks. From how hoarse he sounds, it sounds like he’s been crying]

“-last payment on the ring, too… I had just made the last payment… I was going to propose, but then you burst into tears and said, ‘I can’t watch you die’. And, naturally, I had to be a dick because that’s my only state of being, and I just yelled and yelled until you kicked me out…”

[...]

[He jolts]

“Baby?! Baby!!”

[He hugs you and you hold in a pained groan]

[SFX: A well-meaning embrace]

“Baby… Oh, my baby…You’re awake…!”

[Pause…?]

“What happened…”

[He exhales through his nose, not moving away from you at all]

“...They arrested the shooter… Some amateur local drug dealer… Apparently, Carlos told him that I had his money to avoid that same gun. They’re both in custody, now.”

[...]

“...You’re safe, now. But… But you got shot three times, once in the spine… The doctor said you were probably going to have to learn to walk again. B-But… But he also said there was a chance you’d… never wake up…”

[...]

[He lets out an odd mix of a sob and a laugh]

“Seriously? You’re worried about me? The guy that almost ruined your life??”

[Pause!]

“...I’m fine, baby. I’m… You saved me.”

[Pause…?]

“...I have been crying a lot, yeah… I didn’t know what else to do while I sat by your side. I even tried calling Dad, but got a ‘new number, who this’? Ugh… Guess I know where I got my ‘piece of shit’ genes from, eh?”

[Pause <3]

“Heh… If I was a piece of shit, I wouldn’t be here, huh? Damn…”

[...]

“...Can I h-hold your hand… Please?”

[You nod]

“Thank you… Christ, I… I can’t even begin to tell you how much of a relief it is just to hear your voice again… To see you open your eyes, pretend like I didn’t hug a little too hard, just like always…”

[Pause <3]

[He takes your hand and gently squeezes it, shaking violently]

“...I-I’m so…”

[...]

[He’s barely able to speak as he holds your hand]

“I’m so sorry… I understand… I-I understand, now… You weren’t angry, you were scared, you were scared for me, scared this exact thing would happen… And it did… If you hadn’t pushed me, I-I…”

[P-Pause…]

[He nods, tears spilling down his cheeks]

“No no no, don’t… don’t apologize! You were right to break up with me, Jesus Christ! Watching you bleed out… Twitch like that, that… finality in your eyes… If I put you through this if it had been you watching me die… I understand, and I’m so sorry, baby…”

[Pause…]

[SFX: Fill-in of hospital ambiance]

“...I was so sure… the doctors were so sure that you wouldn’t make it… They said it was a fifty-fifty chance, at best, and there were two times you flatlined a-and… I had never been more afraid and helpless in my entire life… I remember my eyes just darting around the room to see if… I don’t know, I could spot the Grim Reaper and fight him! Or demand he take me instead, just… something! But I was totally powerless…”

[A sob escapes him]

[Pause…?]

“...They said I… I-I might need to start making funeral preparations… Especially after I told him that you’re estranged from your family. That it was just… us. I think I almost started a fight with them, then and there. I was fucking livid that they’d even suggest you weren’t going to make it! They don’t know you! They don’t know how damned strong you are… Hmph. If they did, they would have known you were just taking your time cause you like to sleep in, right?”

[...]

“...You don’t need to thank me for not giving up on you, baby… I never had, have, or will…”

[More sobs rack him, to the point where it sounds painful]

“...I’m so sorry I was such an asshole to you… I just… I thought… I thought they were my friends… Friends don’t fuck you over, they don’t try and get you addicted, and they sure as shit don’t attack the love of your life… But when you’re in so deep, you just… You’re garbage, so you may as well act it, you know?”

[Pause…]

“...I know you never saw me as trash… You’re the only one who didn’t… And you’re the only one who has ever loved me enough to risk your life… No one has ever loved me like you love me. When I was holding you in my arms, you gave me… the tiniest little smile. It was sad but… but like you were sad for me, not yourself. Like you knew that I’d be left hurting once you were gone… ”

[Pause…]

[He holds your hand, rubbing his thumb along the skin gently]

“...Please don’t make me go away until you’re better, OK? Please? You need physical therapy and care and I’m not going to just abandon you again…”

[Pause…?]

“No… The police found the guy that shot at us like I said. The rest of the ‘gang’ is laying low… They don’t claim him, I guess… But I don’t claim them anymore, either. I’m here… OK? I love you. Even if you hate me, even if we never get back together, even if you tell me to get the fuck out of your life after… I still love you, OK?”

[...<3]

[He smiles shakily]

“...I know you love me, too… You big dummy. C’mon, you gotta start getting better taste in men, you know?”

[Pause? <3]

[He laughs quietly]

“Any I can recommend? Pfft. Not ones that would still be alive if they hit on you in front of me, but I’m sure one will come along someday that’ll be too big for me to take a swing at. That one, you can keep. I guess.”

[Pause <3]

[He chuckles weakly and rests his head on the hospital bed, looking exhausted]

“...Do you think… there’s a chance…? For us, I mean? I know it’s a lot to ask, and you probably don’t even want to think about it right now, but I…”

[...<3]

[He exhales shakily and shuts his eyes]

“OK… I love you, sweetheart…”

[Pause <3]

“M’ not a sleepy boy, you hush…”

[He yawns, fighting, but not hard]

“...Never leave me again, OK?... Please?”

[Pause]

[He sighs again, barely able to whisper:]

“Thank you…”

[He’s out, doing that cute little snore that used to annoy you before you decided it was sort of adorable. You rest a hand on the crown of his head, and try to find more sleep, as well]

[...]

[It’s going to be OK]

[The End]