Google Docs ~ ScriptBin

I, SplashiestPig, the author of this script, personally endorse the pursuit of any typical action taken with this text. You can edit it. You can put it behind a paywall. You can monetize an audio made from it. You can even use your magical life experience to teach it how to ice-skate! Dive In! Credit SplashiestPig, and if it could be managed, I'd love to get a link to your work!

​

​

​

( ) = Verbal Sound Effect

[ ] = Added Sound Effect

* * = Silent Insert

Snow-Brainer

[frantic scratching on ice begins]

{panicked}

Woah!

Clear a path!

I can’t stop!

Help!

[frantic scratching on ice stops]

(grunt)

Oh, you… you stopped me! Thanks!

*listener accepts*

No, that was really cool! I thought for sure I was about to plow you, but you just grabbed me and… actually stopped! With that little hop thing and… turning the skates! Do you like, do this professionally or something?

*listener comments*

Well, you should! I think. I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about competitive ice skating, but I bet you’d do great!

*listener thanks*

Anyway, thanks for not just side-stepping me. My face is very grateful that you didn’t let me fall on it.

*listener states*

Right. Okay, let me just… push off and…

[frantic scratching on ice begins]

*small pause*

{panicked}

Wait, no! Not that way, I-!

[frantic scratching on ice stops]

[thud]

Ouch. I got a second chance and everything, and I still fell. Incredible work, ya’ penguin.

*listener comments*

What? Oh! I hadn’t even realized, I’m so sorry! Let me get off you, I’ll just… roll this way-!

(grunt)

So so sorry for that! I noticed that fall felt softer than the others but, I just assumed I was going numb!

*listener speaks*

No, that was completely my fault! I should have asked you to move first, I knew how bad at skating I was!

*listener comments*

Oh, thank god you don’t mind! I would hate to have my first-time ice skating end in battery.

*listener asks*

Yeah, it’s my first time on the ice. I know I’m so immensely great that it’s hard to tell, but I’m brand new! Just moved into the area about a month ago, actually! A friend of mine told me about this lake and said it was a nice spot for the locals to skate during Winter. I’m meeting them here tomorrow, so I’m trying to become a little less terrible today.

*listener offers*

I couldn’t ask that of you. I already crashed into you. Twice.

*listener insists*

Well, if you insist, then maybe I could admit that I really need your help. Like, so much. I don’t even know how to turn.

*listener states*

Thank you so much. I was really hoping to find someone willing to teach, but as you can see, there’s like, no one here.

*listener claims*

Wait, what? That’s why no one’s here?

*listener confirms*

Are… are we in danger? Should we get off the ice, or..? I mean, how thin is too thin?

*listener assures*

I’m… a bit confused. Do you have some secret ice skater knowledge or something? If the ice is too thin to skate on, why are you out here, skating on it?

*listener speaks*

You’re keeping it from breaking?

*listener confirms*

I… I don’t get it.

*listener alludes*

Okay, I’m… I think I can get it on context clues but, I’m still pretty confused. I grew up in a really small town. Like, ninety-nine percent human type small. So, I don’t really know much about, well anything magic related.

*listener explains*

Ooh! That makes a lot more sense.

*listener asks*

Oh, no, not that stuff. I barely get ghosts and vampires, and were-anythings really confuse me. I’m sure your explanations make sense to someone a little smarter, but it is entirely lost on me.

*listener questions*

Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any Yokai, much less… Yuki-Hito? Am I pronouncing that right?

*listener corrects*

Hito. Yuki-Hito. Cool! New words! Anyway, I meant you look really pale. And you’re not wearing much so, I kinda thought you had frostbite or something. But you were pretty lively for someone dying of hypothermia, so I was a little unsure.

*listener comments*

Well, I didn’t know! Since your hair and eyes and… tongue I think… focus! Since you had so many white motifs going on, I just assumed that was part of the plan. But I didn’t really think people could get that pale without being dead, so… yeah.

*small pause*

It looks really good on you if that helps! Again, I really don’t want to accidentally be mean, especially to the person who is simultaneously offering to teach me to ice skate while also being the only thing keeping me from drowning.

*listener accepts*

Whew, that’s good! And I wasn’t just saying that either, I really like your outfit!

*listener speaks*

Yeah, especially the skates! They look really comfy despite, you know, being a boot with a metal blade on the bottom. And the ice stuff on it is practically glowing! Although, I guess that’s you and not the skates, isn’t it? By the way, is that like, hard?

*listener comments*

Well then, you should be very proud. It’s really cool. And I should be wondering how I didn’t notice you were magic when you are practically shouting it from the rooftops. Honestly, I think I’ve got some permanent brain freeze moving this far North.

*listener objects*

Thank you. Now, I don’t suppose you could start teaching me how to not make a fool of myself out here?

*listener confirms*

Great! How do we start?

*listener moves*

Woah, you’re like… right here! Facing me. It’s like um… I’m making it weird, aren’t I? Sorry, I’ll… please continue.

*listener states*

Hands on your shoulders. Got it.

*listener explains*

Like… this?

*listener praises*

Okay, seems easy enough. Leg up, leg down. But uh… I hate to state the obvious but, we aren’t moving.

*listener comments*

Basics first. Right.

*listener speaks*

Ooh, yes I would like to know how to turn!

*listener displays*

You know, that makes a lot more sense! I was just kinda… leaning around and hoping for results but that seems like it’s gonna actually work!

*listener confirms*

Okay, tilt thighs, rotate ankles, head up. In that order.

*listener denies*

Head up always, tilt and rotate same time? Cool. That’s… probably for the best.

*listener explains*

And now movement. Lay it on me!

*listener states*

I want to push diagonally to get the most traction. Yeah, I think I was getting that but, I was still just sliding.

*listener clarifies*

I… don’t really know. But, you’re probably hitting the nail on the head. I’ll try that.

*listener states*

Alright, time to put it together. Keep my knees firm so I don’t do that slipping thing. Push back, then pick up. And turn with my legs, not my hips. I think I’ve got it.

*listener offers*

Oh, like, right now? Aren’t you gonna move?

*listener denies*

Thanks! I don’t know how hard it’ll be to skate backward with me but, I honestly feel like I’m gonna fall the second I can’t hang onto you, so… this is the outcome I was hoping for.

(deep breath)

Here we go! Ice-skating! Just one good push, and we’ll be moving.

*small pause*

Hey um… you will stop us if things start going wrong, won’t you?

*listener confirms*

Great! I’m ready then. Push!

[rhythmic scratching on ice begins]

Oh hey! We’re actually going! And like, in a straight line!

*listener praises*

Do I… need to warn you before I turn, or can I just… try it?

*listener speaks*

Got it. Now… head up… tilt and… rotate!

*listener speaks*

Yeah! I’m… doing it! And this definitely feels way more stable than earlier. A lot less flailing.

*listener offers*

One U-turn, coming up. Nice and wide.

*small pause*

Wooh! That’s what I’m talking about! Just a matter of time before I’m doing loop-de-loops!

*listener comments*

Right, that’s um… the wrong one, isn’t it? You know what, I gotta shoot big. I did mean figure eights but, loop-de-loops would be way more impressive.

*listener states*

Good point. But, I am honestly feeling untouchable right now. Can I let go of you? See if I can stay up on my own?

*listener claims*

I’m ready! If I fall, that’s just how it is. I gotta go for it.

*listener begins*

Great! Here I go-!

{panicked}

Wait, no!

This wasn’t the plan!

[rhythmic scratching on ice stops]

[thud]

I’m okay!

*listener speaks*

Yeah, my brain didn’t actually register your warning, until I had already decided I was going to push off. In hindsight, letting you move away from me would have been a lot more stable.

*listener offers*

Oh, I am definitely going to try again. I knew I was going to fall eventually, I just thought it would take a little longer. Small problem, I only know how to stand when I’m facing up, not down.

*listener moves*

While I would like a hand, it’d probably be better if you walked me through it instead. How do I stand up?

*listener explains*

Legs to the side… outer knee up… push? Okay, I mean, you haven’t been wrong yet.

*small pause*

Wow, that was… really easy. And hey, I’m standing on my own!

*listener confirms*

Well then, I’ll just start up again! But um… if you want to stay close, that’d be cool.

[rhythmic scratching on ice begins]

Hey, I’m doing it! I’m ice skating!

*listener agrees*

I can’t believe it! I really thought this would take a lot longer, but here we are!

*small pause*

You know, you’re a really good teacher.

*listener thanks*

Oh, wait. Can I rescind that compliment until I get one more lesson? I just realized I’m kinda missing a key point here.

*listener questions*

I don’t know how to stop.

*listener speaks*

(quick exhale)

That seems… risky. Are you sure we can’t just like, slow down until we aren’t moving?

*listener insists*

Right, fine. You have been very successful up to this point so… I’ll trust you. But, if I flop, you have to flop too! For moral support! Deal?

*listener agrees*

Alright. Sharp turn sideways… hips not legs… one… two… three!

[rhythmic scratching on ice stops]

Ooh, I’m still standing!

*listener confirms*

I should really stop doubting you, shouldn’t I?

*listener accepts*

Well um… thanks! Hopefully, I’ll actually remember this stuff, so I won’t make a complete fool of myself tomorrow. Assuming the ice isn’t too thin again.

*listener confirms*

Actually, on that note, will you be here tomorrow?

*listener denies*

Well then you have to let me make this up to you now!

*listener objects*

No really! I insist! You just gave me like… a private tutoring session! For free! I gotta do something.

*listener disagrees*

Here, tell ya what. I am pretty sore from all the falling I was doing before I knocked into you. And it’s just about lunchtime anyway. You should let me get you something.

*listener questions*

Well, that’s just the thing! I’m new here. I don’t know what’s good. You can pick whatever you want, I’ll pay, and then you can it’s up to you! Stay and talk, take it to go, whatever. You’d be doing me another huge favor by showing me a place with some good food, so it’s the least I can do.

*listener speaks*

Perfect! You won’t regret this, I promise. Let me just grab my stuff and-!

[thud]

Right. Still on skates.

*listener comments*

No, I’m fine just… could I get that help up now?

*listener moves*

Thanks.

*listener accepts*

I don’t suppose you’d be willing to give me an escort over to my stuff?

*listener confirms*

Thanks. Again.

*listener allows*

Well, I just feel like I’ve said thank you a lot now. It starts to feel a little empty after a while, ya’ know?

[rhythmic scratching on ice begins]

*listener denies*

That’s why I want to pay you back, actually. That and meeting someone new is kinda the whole reason I would come to the lake.

*listener questions*

Yeah, my friend was gonna wingman me through meeting local people. Find someone to date, or just another person to invite to game night. Mission accomplished on that front, right?

*listener asks*

Oh, no! The friend thing, not the date thing! We barely know each other, and most of it has been me fumbling around while you skate circles around me! Actually, when I say it like that, we aren’t even really friends yet, but, acquaintances plus food equals friends, right? I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to imply that-!

*listener hugs*

Oh, does that mean it’s good?

*listener confirms*

Wooh, three cheers for side hugs! And while skating no less. That’s pretty cool.

*small pause*

I’d try to get an arm around you but… I think that requires a slightly more advanced lesson.

*listener comments*

No, this is great. And you’re surprisingly warm for a magic ice spirit person. Wait, should I not have said that?

*listener assures*

Thanks. Again again. Better stop being so nice, or I’ll end up owing you dinner too. Or maybe breakfast…

*listener states*

Ooh! My stuff! We got here quick, didn’t we? Well uh… why don’t I change into some shoes with a little less metal blades and you can grab your stuff! Honestly, with how long it took me to get these on, you’ll probably be there and back with plenty of time!

*listener agrees*

Perfect! Um… Temporary goodbye? Or just… see you soon. That makes more sense, doesn’t it?

*listener confirms*

Yeah, well… don’t fall!