*** = listener speaking

Can be monetised, just please link back to either this post or my YouTube!

Gender(s) can be changed if wanted!

~~~

Ah, ah, ah~ Not so fast, little sidekick.

[crash as the villain makes a blockade]

I can’t have you running off after the hero.

***

Relax, little sidekick. I’m not going to hurt you.

Trust me, if I wanted to, I could’ve been your worst nightmare for the last moments of your life… though we both know that already.

***

What I want is for you to take off the mask so we can have a proper discussion.

Not villain and hero’s sidekick, but as civi- woah!

[listener tries to attack speaker but is stopped]

Ah, ah, ah. I already told you that I’m not here to fight.

Just a warning - I’m not above incapacitating you and dragging you off to someplace where no one can hear you scream.

…Actually… that might be a good idea…

***

Ah, sorry, little sidekick. I didn’t mean to startle you.

I just need you to listen to me, or I might have to escalate things.

And I don’t want to do that, so be a good little sidekick, okay?

***

…Little sidekick?

You look upset. What’s wrong?

***

[speaker sighs]

I’ll let you go only if you promise me you won’t retaliate. Or run away.

Do we have a deal?

***

Okay… I’m letting go of your hand now.

[speaker drops the listener’s hand]

Now, I want you to tell me why you’re so upset.

***

Hah, that’s quite the cute glare you’ve got there – and fine, give me the silent treatment. I’m pretty sure I know why you’re so upset I called you ‘good’ anyway.

***

Because I’ve done my research on you. I was fascinated by you from the moment you made your debut – you were meant to be a sidekick, but in my eyes, you outshined all the heroes on the field.

But it wasn’t just me who thought that, was it?

You gained a plethora of fangirls and fanboys basically overnight. All of them clamouring over your skills and looks, wishing they were in danger so they could be saved by you.

A bunch of needy losers whining for your attention.

However, the next time you were out on a mission, you suddenly seemed… more reserved and cautious. And even more withdrawn the next time. And even more the time after that.

That’s because the hero forced you to take a backseat, didn’t they?

Maybe it wasn’t obvious to a regular onlooker, but when we were up close and personal, I saw some bruises on you that weren’t from me.

***

There’s no use trying to deny it. Like I said, I’ve done my research.

You heroes think your headquarters is so secure, despite how many people I’ve got giving me information on the inside.

They told me everything. About how angry the hero got – and even still gets – when people pay more attention to you, and they take that anger out on you. They’ve even used their powers on you before, haven’t they?

…And told you to take it like ‘the good little sidekick you are’.

And when you tried to go to the hero’s administration, they shot you down and forced you to be silent because of how much of a bigshot the hero is. They’d have to scrap a lot of merch if their biggest star was suddenly outed as a more vile human being than their enemy.

***

Shh, shh, shh… it’s alright. I’m not going to hold it against you.

[speaker hugs listener]

I’m here for you. I won’t let that fake hurt you ever again.

It’s why I wanted to talk to you.

Run away with me now, and leave that rotten world of justice behind.

I have more to offer you than they ever could… starting with basic human decency for one.

***

Of course you can. The hero has flown off without you to deal with my team, they haven’t even noticed that you aren’t with them.

Let’s be honest with ourselves – be honest with yourself.

They wouldn’t care if you were fatally wounded and they’d just run off to let you die – they’d even be happy.

Why would you want to stay with someone like that?

***

The side of justice?

After everything they did to you… you still think they’re the right side to fight for?

You’ve seen just how corrupt the system is. How they treat sidekicks and heroes unequally, let anything slide in order to uphold a false image of righteousness.

How on earth can you lie to yourself and pretend that that is justice?

***

You can’t fix things. Not in your position.

The only ones who can do anything in that world are the morons on the administrative board and the heroes they drool over.

You won’t ever be a hero, no sidekick has ever become a hero, and only former heroes can become members of the administrative board. You’re stuck in your place.

Take the way out I’m offering you.

If you truly want to change things, I’ll help you. I’d do anything for you.

You just need to wake up and realise I’m your right choice.

***

[speaker sighs]

So that’s how it is… a shame.

I told you I didn’t want to have to escalate things.

[before listener can react, speaker stuns them]

[ringing noise and muffled voices as listener starts to become unconscious]

Don’t worry, you’ll only be asleep for a little bit. It won’t cause you any lasting damage.

[turns on a phone]

Hey, it’s me. You can go right ahead.

[speaker chuckles]

No need to console me. I’ll still get them to see reason in the end.

You just focus on what you need to do so your wife doesn’t get on your case about being home late again.

Thanks a bunch for the help. Talk to you later.

[speaker puts down the phone and walks over to listener, giving them a kiss on the forehead]

Sweet dreams, my little sidekick.