Summary: Your Yandere friend invites you over to her place to help "fix her laptop," which ends up being a pretext for a surprise date. You try to excuse yourself, but she's not having it. At least, not until you have a cup of tea…

What did I put in your tea? Oh, just the normal stuff – a little lemon, a pinch of sugar, and of course lots of love… and maybe one or two other things. (Laugh) I told you I thought of you while making it, didn't I?

If you use this, feel free to monetize it however you want and/or tweak the genders.

Link to the script on Scriptbin, the full text is also below

[Knock on door]

(To herself, muffled, not realizing you can hear) Oh, he's early… No problem. Just be chill. Just be normal. You got this. 3, 2, 1… Showtime.

[Door opens]

Hello! I, uh, didn't expect you to be early.

…

Oh, no trouble at all! I was just surprised, but hey all it means is that we'll get to spend more time together!

…

I mean… I mean more time helping me fix my laptop, obviously. Right… sorry I forgot that's why you came over. I mean–I didn't forget, I just… uh, look, nevermind. I don't know what I'm saying. Come on in!

[Footsteps]

You can take off your jacket. Actually let me take it off for you! No, no, don't even try mister, I've got it. You're my guest and that means I'm going to take care of you tonight.

…

There we go… now why don't you sit down on the sofa here, make yourself nice and comfy.

…

Why am I wearing what? Oh you mean this old thing?

…

Well, sure, I guess it is a pretty fancy dress… No, I'm not going anywhere after this. I just wore it because… Well, can't a girl dress nice for a night in from time to time? (Laugh)

…

Where is what?

…

Oh. My laptop… right… sorry I forgot again, silly me. I'm just so birdbrained this week. It's right on the coffee table over there. Dumb old thing has a black screen and doesn't work at all! Thanks again for coming over to take a look at it.

…

Yeah, the screen is just totally black. No idea why.

…

Of course, of course, you can try whatever you want. Just excuse me for a bit, I have to check something. I'll only be a moment, I promise.

…

[Laptop startup sound]

…

…And I'm back! Oh my god, you already fixed it! You're such a tech wizard, I don't know what I'd do without you.

…

What do you mean nothing's wrong with it? It had a black screen, silly. That's what was wrong with it. But not anymore, thanks to your capable hands! You fixed it!

…

You just pressed the "on" button? (Lying) Um… I guess I forgot I had to do that. Stupid me, I told you I've been birdbrained lately. (Laugh) Oh, what a dumb mistake. I'm so glad I have a clever friend like you to help me. Anyway, I brewed some tea, so–

…

Yes, there's nothing else wrong with it. I just… forgot I needed to turn it on. You know there are just so many bits and pieces and keys and widgets and what not, I'm a total klutz with technology…

…

No it was broken, it's just that you fixed it. Well okay it wasn't technically broken I guess but… but I thought it was. I don't know. Anyway who cares about that, don't you want to drink some tea? You look like you need a drink, let me get my–

…

Why are you looking at me like that? Do you not like tea? (Worried) Oh my god, wait do you not like tea? (To self) Oh stupid, stupid, why didn't I ask first. (To listener) I'm sorry. I, uh, I also have coffee and, and soda and there's actually also some white wine, though I was saving that for us to share later–

…

No, no, no! You can't leave, we haven't even had a chance to chat yet!

…

Yes I know you turned it–I mean fixed it already, but… but that doesn't mean you have to go! Just stay a bit for tea okay? Let's sit down and talk, it's been so long since we've talked.

…

Well okay, fine, maybe, but two days feels like a long time to me! Just sit down you silly boy, come on, why are you in such a rush? It's not like you have anywhere else to be at this time of night, just relax.

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(Angry) …What is that supposed to mean?

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No, I asked you to come fix my laptop. I didn't say–

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(Sigh) Okay. Since you insist on being difficult, fine. I admit it, it wasn't really broken. Happy now?

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Because every time I ask you to come over to my place, you get shy or bashful or uncomfortable, and frankly I'm tired of playing that game with you. So… I found another way to get you here.

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Yes, I suppose it was technically "lying." God, you say that word like it's tantamount to murder, it's really not that big a deal! It was just a little white lie, like… like telling your grandma her burnt cookies taste good or whatever…

…

"False pretenses"? (Laugh) You're talking like I'm some kind of criminal. It's so adorable when you try to act all tough. Calm down, and let me get that tea for you, maybe it'll help you loosen up and stop being such a little drama queen.

…

No. You're not leaving. You're staying and having a cup of– No, no don't get up. Sit down. Okay, look, I didn't want to do this…

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Ugh! [Metallic click] Why do you want to make this so much harder than it has to be?

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Yes, I did handcuff you to the arm of the sofa. I’m sorry, but you left me no choice.

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No, I'm not taking it off. I'll take it off when you decide to behave, and that means being a polite guest and not running off before we even start our date.

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Yes, our date. You heard me.

…

Okay. Go ahead, try and call them.

…

What's wrong? Oh, right… I forgot to tell you I nicked your phone from your pocket when you walked in. (Mocking) Silly me, how could that slip my mind… birdbrained.

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Oh, don't look at me like that.

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Like that! Your little scaredy cat eyes are so cute, but I hate it when you look at me like I'm… crazy or something. Like I'm some weird lunatic for inviting you over and offering you refreshments!

…

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Now sit tight, let me get you your tea. God, all your theatrics have wasted so much time it's probably cold by now… I hope you're happy, mister.

…

[Tea pouring]

There we are. Do you like honey? I bought a couple jars of the most delectable honey from the farmer's market downtown last Sunday, I can–

…

(Sigh) Oh, you're going to be difficult about this too, huh? Fine… tell you what. I'll make you a deal. Drink your tea… and I'll uncuff you. And then you can do whatever you want, okay? But at least let me serve you some tea first, please? I put so much work into it and I just want you to taste it, is that so bad?

…

Yes, I promise I will.

…

Good boy! I'm so happy, I thought of you the whole time I was making it, it took me longer than usual because I wanted it to be absolutely perfect for you…

…

It tastes funny? You mean it's bad? Oh please tell me it's not bad, I put so much effort into it for you…

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No? Just unusual. Well I don't know… Drink a little more, perhaps it's just an acquired taste.

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No, no, you're not getting away with just a few sips. (Laugh) Keep drinking.

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There's a good boy! Well done, you finished the whole thing!

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Yes, yes, calm down, I'll do it. I'm a woman of my word. Here you go. [Metallic click]

…

Oh you're leaving? Okay… well, go right ahead. (Laugh)

…

(Mock concern) Oh darling, what's wrong?

…

Oh… oh sweetheart, you don't look well at all. Your forehead is getting all sweaty and your hands are shaking…

…

Careful, you almost fell down! Here, I've got you, don't worry, I've got you. I certainly can't let you walk home alone in this condition, it just wouldn't be safe for you! I don’t know how I’d ever forgive myself if something happened to you! You’ll just have to crash here for the night.

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No, no, I’m afraid I have to insist. It’s for your own good, darling.

…

What did I put in your tea? Oh, just the normal stuff – some milk, a pinch of sugar, and of course lots of love… and maybe one or two other things (Laugh) I told you I thought of you while making it, didn't I?

…

Oh, that's not a very nice thing to say, dear. (Laugh) I wish you could hear how you sound right now, you can barely even speak properly… it's adorable. (Mocking impression of listener) "You… you can't do this." I'm doing it right now, silly.

…

Hm… maybe I shouldn't have made you drink the whole cup at once. The effect seems to have come on a bit too strong. It's okay, it's nothing permanent. Oh my, you can barely sit up straight! I had some other things planned for our date but maybe that'll have to wait until tomorrow, you're much more sluggish than I expected you to be. We need to get you somewhere to lie down… don't worry, my bedroom is just down the hall.

…

No, no, don't try to resist. You're much too weak to be exerting yourself like this right now, you'll only get hurt. And that's the last thing I want, believe me when I say that. Put your arm around my shoulder.

…

Aww, that's cute, were you trying to push me away? Because with your arms being all noodly… it felt more like a hug to me. Maybe that's what you wanted deep down? To give me a big hug? Here, let me hug you. Mmm… (whisper) oh you have no idea how long I've waited for this.

…

Shh, shh, none of that now. We're almost there… And, here we are! Pardon the mess, it's just so hard to find time to tidy up. Let me just lay you down on my bed here, all nice and cozy. You're sweating through your shirt. I'll just loosen that up for you… Oh calm down, god you look so scared! Relax! I'm not taking your clothes off or anything, I'm just loosening your shirt collar a little, that's all.

…

Are the lights too bright? Aww, they're probably stinging your poor eyes. I'll turn them down. There we go… that's more romantic anyway, don't you think?

…

What did you say? Your words slur so much it's hard to understand you…

…

Oh… no… you're starting to cry. No, no, don't try to wipe those tears away, you can't hide them from me. You can't hide anything from me, and you'll never need to.

…

Aww, sweetheart, shh, shh. It's okay, let it out. You're safe here, you're safe. I know you might feel really frightened and confused but there's truly nothing to cry about, you're here with me, you're absolutely safe. I'm sorry I had to be a little… less than honest about all this, but trust me it's all for the best. It's okay now. I'm here for you.

…

Here, let me join you on the bed. Oh my god… our first night together. (Laugh) It's not exactly how I always pictured it, frankly, but I'm not complaining. You and me, side by side, that's all that really matters. All the rest is just… details.

…

Oh don't be so fussy, don't try to squirm away. You're not going anywhere, mister. Here, let me cuddle you. It'll make you feel better, I promise, don't be shy. Mmm. There we go… let me put my arms around you and hold you close.

…

It's okay, I don't mind you crying. Let it out. Just bring your head down, nestle into my chest, that's right… Shh, shh, it's okay. Crying is natural when you're feeling so many strange emotions and your poor little brain just doesn't know what to do. But you won't have to think so hard from now on. I'll guide you. It'll be so easy now. You'll see.

…

Are your pants uncomfortable? They look a little tight. I have the most lovely, soft satin pajamas I bought just for you, you're probably still too uncoordinated to put them on yourself, but I can change you into them if you–

…

Alright, alright, calm down! I was just offering. Your eyes got so wide again just now, I wish you could see yourself. It's cute… But don't worry, I won't do anything you don't want me to. Sure, I had to take some, uh, liberties getting you here, but that's all in the past. Now we're together, and things are going to be different. I promise.

…

Will you… will you kiss me? I don't want to rush into things but… oh, I just can't wait! [Kiss] Oh… oh your lips are so soft. Did you like it? Just one more! [Kiss] Mmm, you're so sweet. I love you so much.

…

Also, before I forget… I'm sorry, but I will have to secure your ankle to the bedpost here… [Metallic click] Don't worry, don't worry! You'll get to take it off again tomorrow after you drink your medicine. I'll give you a lower dose next time, I promise, so you won't feel quite so woozy… it's just a temporary measure to keep you docile until you've adjusted.

…

Oh god, I'm so excited for tomorrow I don't know how I'm ever going to get to sleep! I'm sorry our date got cut short, but I'll make it up to you. I have so much amazing stuff planned, you're going to absolutely love it. I promise.

…

What was that?

…

Did you say you want to go home?

…

Oh, my silly boy. You are home. Now give me another kiss…