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Context: It's been some time since the Battle of Thorin. Vampires attacked holy knights nearby your church years ago, and you tried to save every life you could, vampire or no. The event left you with a weight on your shoulders that nothing seems to relieve. What you don't know is that your actions did help someone. And that said someone is watching you, waiting for just the right moment...
Setting: A lonely church
Tags:[MM4A][Enemies to Lovers?][Yandere Ancient Vampire Speaker][Encouraging Minion Speaker][Nun Listener][Yandere]but[Respectful][Regrets][Holy x Unholy][Comedy]with[Some Angst][Mild Lore Drops][Confession][Shame][Jealous][Possessive][Kind of Adorkable][CW: Mentions of Death/War]
Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:
Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! Youtube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!
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[B] = Cain aka "Boss"
[M] = Derrick, a very considerate minion
[Scene opens outside of an old church]
[SFX: Someone pacing]
[Two men stand outside of an old church, one pacing nervously while the other watches. They hide in the nearby forest]
[B] “Phew, phew, phew, OK. OK… We made it here, before the church. Yes… Good. Good work, Derrick.”
[The younger man with him looks at him in confusion]
[M] “Sure, Boss, but you still really haven’t explained what we’re doing in front of this old church? Aren’t you a vampire, though?”
[The older man sighs, pacing and tenting his fingers]
[B, through grit teeth] “Yes, Derrick, I am a vampire.”
[M] “So… won’t the church hurt you?”
[Pause]
[B, sighing] “Listen to me, faithful minion… I’ve been preparing for over a decade to come back here and win the love of my life! I’ve prepared my speech, I’ve prepared a ring, brought these flowers… I just need to work up the nerve…”
[SFX: Pace, pace, pace]
[Pause]
[M] “So… Are you going to go knock?”
[B, irritated] “Give me a damned minute!... These things take time, and churches give me gas. I just need a second… Just another minute…”
[SFX: The door to the church opening]
[B] “SHIT-! HIDE, HIDE YOU FOOL!!”
[SFX: A slight rustle of bushes]
[M] “Argh! My foot… Boss, what-?!”
[Pause]
[B] “There they are!”
[He ducks back behind the trees again with his confused minion]
[M, confused] “The sad-looking nun watering the flowers, boss?”
[Pause]
[B, with a slight hiss] “Shh! Quiet! I don’t want them to know I’m here…”
[M, more confused] “But… I thought we were here so you could finally make your move, boss?”
[The vampire paces nervously]
[B] “Derrick… Listen. This person is different. They’re good. They’re pretty and sweet and the love of my life and I’m bad and sinfully handsome and probably the worst fucking thing that could happen to them… Look at them!”
[M] “They seem… pretty.”
[B, voice demonic] “What did you just say?! They are mine, you’d do well to remember that!”
[Pause?]
[The vampire yelps as you call out to ask if someone is there. Only the rustling of bushes answers]
[...]
[You continue to water the flowers, making a note that the squirrels might be getting a bit too chunky]
[B, quiet] “...Shit, ah… They look busy, maybe we should go and come back another time?”
[Pause]
[M] “But you said we-?”
[B] “SHHH!!! They’re looking!”
[Pause…]
[OK, the squirrels are definitely getting too chunky]
[M] “Aw, c’mon, Boss! You’re handsome, you’re smart, you speak real fancy, and you’re a vampire! Who wouldn’t want you to have a nice partner?”
[B] “Literally God himself???”
[SFX: A door closing distantly]
[Pause]
[M] “Looks like they went back in the church… Oh yeah, vampire… Well, I’ve seen star-crossed lovers that had more stacked against them than one person being a vampire and the other being a nun!”
[B, hopeful] “Really?”
[M] “Yeah! What about Agelast and that henchperson? Or that incubus and angel? OR, OR, Jeanine in accounting and Mike in marketing? Enh?”
[B, sighing] “The one time my ship came in for such awful people… When is the wedding?”
[M] “October.”
[B] “Thank you, Derrick, you really are a fantastic minion… Do you really think there’s a chance…? I… I’ve never even spoken to them again after the first time we met…”
[Pause]
[M] “Love is love, Boss! C’mon, get those pretty flowers you brought.”
[B, uncertain] “Right…”
[SFX: Flowers shuffling]
[M] “Yeah! You march up there, you look them in the eye, and you tell them, ‘You changed my life, now I wish to change yours by being a part of it’!”
[B, surprised] “Holy shit, Derrick-”.
[M] “And when they’re staring you in the eye, trying to figure out what you’re made of, you hit them with that devastating smolder and whisper seductively, ‘Please, won’t you save my soul?’.”
[B, confused] “Derrick, what the fuck-?”
[M, standing] “C’mon, Boss! You got this! Say it with me! You are handsome!”
[B] “I am handsome…?”
[M] “You’ve got a lot to offer!”
[B, more sure] “I have a lot to offer!”
[M] “You deserve to be happy and find love!”
[B, pumped] “I deserve to be happy and find love!”
[M] “YEAH!!! GO GET ‘EM, BOSS! I’ll scurry into the bushes by the door for moral support!”
[B] “YEAH! Wait, wha-?”
[SFX: A grown man scurrying across the grounds and into a bush]
[B] “...And there he goes… Alright… C’mon, Cain, you can do this…”
[Pause]
[He takes a few deep breaths for courage and strides forward]
[SFX: Boots crossing grass / knock knock knock]
[Pause?]
[You go to answer the door and open it. A very handsome man stands there, clutching a bouquet as though they are his lone lifeline]
[Pause?]
[B] “C-Can you help me? A-Ahh…”
[SFX: The bushes rustling]
[You side-eye the bushes by the door as they shiver and can vaguely hear a younger man whispering to the nervous one]
[M] “Psst, Boss! ‘You helped me many years ago’!”
[The nervous man clears his throat hurriedly]
[B] “Yes! You, ah… You were the one that helped me many years ago… Y-You see, ahm, I was at the Battle of Thorin… One of many injured that you sweet nuns rushed to aid… I’m sure I seem no more different than the many pale, pained faces you held that day, b-but…”
[...?]
[SFX: The bouquet rustling]
[B] “I, ah… Um… These flowers are… for you… If you’d like?”
[You take the flowers from him. They are a wicked crimson and black]
[M, still whispering] “You’re doing great, Boss!”
[Pause?]
[B, through grit teeth] “Don’t worry about him, he is just… An employee trying to be supportive but is actually making things a million times worse!”
[M, louder] “Aww…”
[The handsome man tents his fingers with a deep breath and exhales shakily]
[B] “I… Never forgot… your kindness, nor your face. I know many young men and women did not get to go home that day, and the sadness in your eyes… I understand it. The pain you carry… I just wanted to give you a small gift to thank you for… for saving me.”
[Pause]
[He freezes, as though afraid]
[B] “Come… into the church? I, ah…”
[SFX: Him taking a few steps back]
[B] “I… I can’t…”
[...?]
[He winces and looks away, pained]
[B] “...yes. I am one of the vampires that originally attacked…”
[...]
[He watches you. You watch him]
[...]
[B] “...If you wish to draw your crucifix… or grasp for a holy dagger or water, I won’t stop you. You saved my life… And I’ve spent a good many years simply trying to work up the nerve to simply say ‘hello’. If you wish to take back your mercy… I won’t stop you.”
[...]
[He tenses as tears spill down your face]
[B] “Wait, wait, wait, please! Don’t… Please don’t weep, I-I…”
[M, hurriedly] “Boss, remember: talk it out! You can do this…”
[SFX: Him taking a few steps back]
[B, breathless] “...I…I’m sorry…”
[SFX: Teleporting noises]
[He vanishes before you can say a word to him with a pained sigh]
[...]
[M] “...I, um… Listen, I don’t know how exactly you’re feeling right now, but… the boss is a good guy, and he cares a lot about making a good impression on you. You’re the only person he really cares about…”
[...?]
[M] “...Could I maybe come in and talk with you? I can lay everything out without bursting into flame. Not a vampire or demon, I promise!”
[...]
[SFX: The door opening wider]
[M, cheerful] “Thank you! I’m sure the boss will come back soon.”
[...]
[SFX: The door shutting]
[To be continued]
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