Context: You spend most of your time in the depths of the oceans. After all, that is where you rule. From time to time, however, a large maelstrom will open on the surface and mortals will drop coins and other offerings to curry your favor. They tend to wish for safe sails, calm waters, and mercy… but none of them have had the spine to ask for your hand in marriage. Not until today, it seems…

Setting: The Maelstrom / The Castle

Tags:[MMM4FA][Obsessed Yandere Prince Speaker][Addtl. Royal Speakers][Water Goddess Listener][Royal Child Listener][Lore Drops][Betrayal][Sacrifice][At Any Cost][Two Listeners][Fantasy][Underwater Horrors][Sea Monster Listener][CW: Betrayal/Death]

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[P] = Poripheon, the Prince of Sapphirn

[K] = Kelos, Poripheon's Uncle

[R] = Rowas, the King of Sapphirn

[Scene opens before a massive maelstrom]

[SFX: A raging maelstrom/pirates shouting to each other]

[Three boats remain barely anchored around your domain. An endless maelstrom frothing and raging to swallow unwary souls. You survey three men, each leading one of the vessels, shouting to each other over the roaring]

[P] “There! The Maelstrom is fully expanded, over five kilometers wide!”

[K] “Rrgh, then drop the damned coin in it and summon the damned beast! Any closer and that monstrosity is going to swallow all three of our ships!”

[R] “Easy… We’re dealing with Eldritch forces here, far beyond our understanding… We must be cautious…”

[Pause]

[SFX: A gold coin being flipped into a raging whirlpool]

[P] “There. The coin has been cast, Father. Uncle, do remind me what we should expect?”

[R, with a scoff] “Well, if there’s any merit to it, then we’ll be-”.

[SFX: An IMMENSE rumbling and water sloshing]

[You rise from the Maelstrom, easily stretching around it twice over. Your body is like a human woman from the waist up, but the rest of you is an endless, nightmarish tail of fractal coils]

[K] “Gods above…”

[R] “The Denmother is real!”

[P] “And thank the gods for that!”

[SFX: The Listener slowly lowering herself to get a better look at the ships]

[...Pause?]

[The ships rumble from the power of your voice]

[The man at the head of the middle ship holds up his hands, as though offering tribute]

[P] “Hear me, Denmother, for I am Prince Poripheon of the Sapphirn Kingdom.”

[Pause?]

[SFX: Rumbling and water crashing]

[P] “You ask me what I want…”

[His apparent Uncle speaks up:]

[R] “For the love of God, Pori! Make the damned deal before our ships get torn to shreds!”

[K] “Agreed. Son, do as we rehearsed. Ask the Denmother for protection for our lands from the Virosian threat!”

[Your eyes turn back to the Prince. He could swim in one of your pupils and still never reach one side or the other]

[Pause…?]

[P] “Is that what I desire…?”

[The Prince smiles, eyes widening with a familiar madness. He holds his hands up once more, palms upward]

[P] “No. I desire you, sea goddess!”

[SFX: The maelstrom roaring]

[K] “What are you doing, boy?!”

[R] “Pori, no! A sea witch cannot be trusted!”

[SFX: The Ohn Kri battle cry - I am using this as a rough sample for what they sound like, but feel free to substitute/the boats being swarmed]

[You let out a few creaks and hums from your gills, watching in amusement as the ships are swarmed by your cult worshippers - the deep ones. The Ohn Kri. The other men panic, but the Prince never wavers]

[R] “Ohn Kri! Don’t touch them, men! They make look beguiling as any siren, but they’ll tear your throat out the second you piss them off! Just stay calm… Hands up. No sudden movements…”

[The men follow his lead, though the King’s brother appears to be much less calm than himself]

[K] “Prepare to fight!”

[R] “No, Kelos! Call your men off, for the love of the gods-!”

[SFX: Unfortunate sailors being unfortunately slaughtered, unfortunately]

[Pause…]

[P, with a mad laugh] “Yes, yes! I offer them as tribute. I offer any of my subjects! I offer my own soul if it will capture your heart!”

[K, struggling/battling] “Poripheon, you filthy fucking-! NNGH! Off of me, you vile harpies!”

[In all the madness, the Prince remains unimpacted, even as blood sprays across his face]

[Pause~]

[P] “My desire… is for you to wed me, Denmother. To give me children of such significant power, we will never be threatened again! The mere knowledge that you’ve cast a curious eye on other men… Perhaps even women… it boils me alive!”

[R] “Poripheon, STOP THIS-!”

[SFX: A ship getting lifted into the air/men yelping in surprise before the ships are smashed to bits and the yelling quiets… leaving only Poripheon and his ship]

[He smiles madly, not seeming to care that he is surrounded by endless coils of madness]

[P] “Oh, and finally, quiet from those two… If they are to serve your handmaidens, I’d ask you to treat them well. Could you do that for me, my beautiful goddess?”

[Pause…]

[You suppose. You extend a palm and he hops into it happily, barely a speck no matter how close you draw him to your face]

[P] “I have asked my wish, Denmother! I have conquered the Seven Isles, defeated your champions, and even let them live to soothe your temper! I have even brought you the ultimate wedding gift!”

[Pause…?]

[He reaches behind his back and produces a glimmering Trident]

[P] “The Trident of the Water God! The ultimate prize for any that loves the sea as I do, as any pirate does! I offer you this, sharing in my kingdoms, all the glimmering prizes you could ever want… If you will agree to be my bride and bear my children. What say you, Denmother? Queen of the Ocean!”

[SFX: The Ohn Kri crying out to you]

[The ocean is in an uproar at this proclamation. A human daring to ask a Denmother for her sole affection?... Curious]

[Pause…]

[P] “I swear to you, I will show you love that the cold, cold seas cannot! You will have my sole affection and attention, always! I will love you in ways that the Rassanian Deep Ones have never thought of! All I ask is that you be my wife… What say you, Denmother? Will you be mine?”

[...]

[What will you say, indeed…]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Time Skip - Five Years]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Scene opens in the royal hallway]

[SFX: Night time ambiance]

[Your father sits on the throne, having told the tale at long last. He flashes a smile down at you]

[P] “And that is how I met your mother.”

[Pause!]

[P] “How did she shrink down to live here when she’s not at work in the waves? Old magic, my sweet child. Your mother’s power is truly something to behold. Why, she could line an entire coastline simply by stretching for a yawn!”

[Pause!!!]

[Your father laughs and ruffles your hair]

[P] “You may very well learn to transform in just such a way one day, yes. Juno has taken to the role quite quickly - and don’t let your egg mate give you too much sass, my dear little one. You know they always need to get the last word, hmhm.”

[Pause <3]

[P] “Yes, I do think it’s time for bed. It is quite late… but, don’t worry, Mommy will be home very soon, alright? I get to kiss her first, tho~”.

[Pause!!]

[He laughs and gets you tucked in gently]

[SFX: Bed tucking]

[P] “There we are, loves. Looks like Juno passed out early, so I’ll just sneak on out and give them a kiss on the forehead tomorrow.”

[SFX: Careful footsteps and a door squeaking shut]

[P, with a smile] “Goodnight, darlings. Papa loves you~”.

[Pause!]

[SFX: The door swinging shut]

[To be continued?]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Still a better ending than How I Met Your Mother? I’m sorry, I’ll stop.

Second note: As a matter of fact, it IS indeed 'that' Juno. Deal with it