Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Context: You are one of a set of twins, and your family has never made it hidden that they like your brother more. You've been mistreated most of your life, but you'd hoped you could have one birthday celebration on your terms. Naturally, your brother has ruined your night. It seems like someone besides you might have taken offense to that... and did something about it. You couldn't help but repay him with a date. He gave the necklace your twin stole as collateral to you since you asked nicely...and he's crazy about you.

Setting: Zach's parent's home

Tags:[MMF4F][Bi Dangerous Himbo Speaker][Parental Speakers x2][Mistreated Listener][Husband Material][Comedy][Cute][Flirting][Meeting His Parents][VERY Protective][Comfort][Rapidly Escalating Yandere][CW: Mentions of Dysfunction]

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[Z] = Zach, your slightly crazy love interest. Danger himbo

[K] = Koa, Zach's dad, quite large

[I] = Inga, Zach's mother, quite smol

[Scene opens on Zach’s motorcycle]

[SFX: A motorcycle just riding freely]

[You’re riding with Zach and Hot Dog on his motorcycle when he pauses and pulls off to the side of the road]

[SFX: The motorcycle petering down]

[Pause?]

[Z] “Oh yeah, everything’s OK, Lil Mama! I think my bike needs a quick oil change though. My parent’s house is right around the corner from here, would you be OK stopping there? Then we can get to our movie date later!”

[Pause…]

[He smiles at you warmly]

[Z] “Hey, c’mon, they’ll love you! They’re good people, and I know they’ll have T-R-E-A-T-S for Hot Dog here, eh?”

[SFX: Wiener dog yips]

[Pause!]

[Zach groans, good-natured]

[Z] “Aw man, he’s getting too smart! I spelled it out that time and he still went crazy… You be good for Lil Mama here, HD!”

[SFX: Wiener dog yips and the bike petering off once more before coming to a gradual stop]

[Zach pulls around the corner and parks before a nice but small home]

[Z] “Ma! Pa! I’m home and raiding the garage!”

[Pause]

[Z] “Also I brought my girlfriend and Hot Dog!”

[SFX: The front door opening]

[A mountain of a man jogs over who looks similar to Zach, but somehow bigger and laden with tattoos on his muscular arms]

[K] “Zach! Pehea ʻoe! What brings you by?”

[They exchange an absolutely gargantuan hug, laughing and smacking each other on the back]

[Z, laughing] “Changing the oil out on the bike real quick! Then I need to get Lil Mama here to the movies so we can see that dumb new animated movie. They bet me ten bucks I’m gonna cry like a bitch, and I intend to use my winnings to get a victory soda!”

[K] “Hehe, fair enough, son. Go and grab what you need, it’ll be a great chance for me to talk to your partner here.”

[Z, warning] “You behave, Pa. I mean it!”

[K, laughing] “Always!”

[Zach shoots his Dad a look but hurriedly jogs off, leaving you in the lion’s den]

[Pause]

[K] “Howzit! You must be Zach’s girlfriend, eh?”

[You shake his hand politely]

[Pause]

[K, laughing] “Brave enough to shake my hand, too! You really are fearless, huh? Come in, come in! Name’s Koa. Please call me that, all of this “Mr. Kahale” nonsense makes me feel even older, hehe.”

[Pause]

[Z, distantly] “Dad! DAD! DON’T SCARE OFF THIS ONE!”

[His Dad bellows with laughter and gestures you inside]

[K] “Me? Scary?! Inga knows I’m just a big old teddy bear, huh, Inga! Come on, come in! Inga’s dying to meet you. Frauchen, Zach brought his girlfriend home and abandoned her to the sharks!”

[SFX: The two heading inside]

[An older woman with pale blonde hair peers out from the kitchen. Counter to her husband, she can’t be more than five feet tall and is chunky as a bunny]

[I] “Lieber, be nice! You know Zach is really into this doggy lady! You heard how he talked! ‘Beautiful eyes’ this and ‘Have my babies’ that!”

[Zach screams distantly. You can’t tell if he’s saying something or it’s just a long string of vowels]

[Pause <3]

[Koa laughs again]

[K] “Heehee, he’s so upset. I love hearing our son suffering juuuust a little. I consider it payback for the few years he decided he needed to bite every single part of my legs when I was doing yard work. ‘I’m a flea, papa!’. Yeah. Understatement of the century!”

[SFX: More distant Zach desperation and the Listener being sat down]

[I] “I’m Inga, by the way. Originally from Germany.”

[K] “Came to the States on educational study twenty years back, saved some big musclehead Hawaiian man who choked on a wing bone at a bar, and decided to marry said musclehead. Guess the education didn’t do much to educate on making smart choices, eh?”

[Pause]

[Inga shoots him a look and he gives that same expectant, loving grin Zach gives you]

[I] “Someone must want attention to be so sassy, seeing as I still have the video of you trying to outrun a bus to the airport just to ask me to stay with you!”

[K, laughing] “Hehe, still can’t believe the cop that had to untangle me from the traffic lights attended our wedding. Dave is good people!”

[Pause <3]

[Inga shakes her head but smiles]

[I] “Let me get us some drinks. Koa, you behave yourself around our guest. That might be your daughter-in-law soon!”

[SFX: More Zach agony. Zachony]

[She pads into the kitchen, leaving you with the gargantuan man leaning shirtless in his armchair]

[K] “So… What do you see in my son?”

[The question surprises you but you answer easily enough]

[Long Pause]

[Koa strokes his chin, listening respectfully, until you finish]

[K] “Hmm. You like him as he is. You don’t want to force him to change or be someone new…”

[Pause.]

[K] “And you know he’s always going to be… himself, right? He might clean up in a suit from time to time, he might come across as respectful to teachers and coworkers, and, for you, he’d probably even kill himself trying to be whatever man you wanted. But you want him for him.”

[Pause.]

[K] “And you’re sure?”

[Pause]

[The massive man leans back thoughtfully as Zach finally hurries in, dripping sweat and a little oil in his hair]

[Z] “PUT THE BABY ALBUMS AWAY AND NO ONE GETS HURT!”

[Pause!]

[K, jovial] “Zach, you made it! You gonna marry this one, yeah?”

[I, delighted] “Zachary! Come here, give me a hug!”

[You watch your boyfriend die inside while he stoops so his tiny mom can hug him]

[Z] “I am SO sorry if they did anything that made you feel uncomfortable! They’re good people, they just-”.

[Pause <3]

[Z] “...Really? You’re having a nice time?”

[Pause!]

[Koa pats his back with a big smile]

[K] “Yep! You found you a good one this time, Zach! Papa Koa Approved!”

[I] “And Mama Inga certified!”

[Pause <3]

[Zach looks between the three of you in moderate confusion before he heaves a sigh and flops on the couch]

[Z] “Hrmph… Guess this must have been what you felt like when some beautiful lady started taming you, huh?”

[Pause <3]

[His father laughs and puts an arm around Inga]

[K] “Hoho, yeah! Soon you’ll be sitting there, wondering about savings, potential kids, a place together… Gonna be real scary!”

[Zach groans but perks as you put your hand on his shoulder]

[Pause]

[Z] “...I love you, too, Lil Mama… I’m using that as an excuse to curl up on your lap.”

[Pause!]

[You laugh as he curls up on your lap… or attempts to]

[K, wheezing] “Boy, you’re like one of them horse-sized dogs sitting on a cat-sized person! Get your mangy self up, come help me set up the grill.”

[Z, confused] “But… we have a movie date…?”

[K, stern] “And movie snacks are ridiculous. C’mon, we’re fattening you two up before you go see your cartoon. Now c’mon, move.”

[Zach shrugs, kisses you, and follows his Dad. Inga sits across from you, eyes twinkling]

[I] “Hmhm, Koa’s gone to give him the talk… and rings, I imagine.”

[Pause?]

[She smiles at you and that’s really all you need]

[I] “Oh, it doesn’t matter if I think you’re good enough or not. I do, but it’s not up to me. You make my son happier than he’s ever been. Even with his head in the clouds, he’s firmly down here, feet on the ground and holding your hand… You have your choices too, of course, but I find knowing someone like Koa loves me… freeing.”

[Pause?]

[She laughs and nods to the window. You can see Koa and Zach almost immediately start playfighting]

[I] “Look at them, already playfighting… That’s what I love about my Koa. That happiness in being himself, and the happiness of being such a major part of it. I know my Koa… he might get in trouble, but I know he’ll come home, smile that silly smile, and I’ll feel loved and safe, even if I want to be mad.”

[Pause…]

[I] “Just do what feels right when the time comes, dear… Oh! Want to see his baby pictures while he’s distracted?”

[... You know what, maybe fuck that movie, the time is now]

[Fade out on Inga giggling and SFX: photo albums being deployed]

[To be continued]

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: “Man, FUCK YO’ TRAFFIC LIGHTS-”, a local Hawaiian man commented to news reporters as he was rescued via crane and eight firefighters.

Second note: Yes, Koa does, in fact, like them big and chunky.