Context: It seems like everyone around you seems to be in love wherever you go, and it’s starting to get irritating. As it turns out, the reason why is that a very clumsy cupid keeps trying to shoot you, but keeps missing! That is, until they appear before you to try and hit you point blank… and hit themself, somehow.

Words: 1348

Monetization: It’s perfectly ok to monetize and record any of my scripts, you can change pronouns and stuff around too! Just please remember to credit me! However, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PAYWALL MY SCRIPTS!

Notes: High difficulty script!

A/N: I was having a really bad writer's block. Found this prompt on the writing prompts tumblr and had to give it a shot.

[My Script Hub] [Nyan’s Sound Effects Drive]

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“Urrgh… what is it with this human?!”

“How come I miss them every time I try to shoot them with one of my love arrows?!”

“It’s just hitting one human with one love arrow and then this crossbow can auto-target another! I didn’t do that terribly in my archery classes…! Right…?!”

“They can’t see me, right…? From the way I always seem to miss them, it almost seems like it…”

[pause]

“No… no. Humans can’t see us unless we intentionally reveal ourselves to them… and according to my human studies class, humans tend to get scared when we reveal ourselves.”

[pause]

“Okay, I need a plan, ooooh think think think…!! Hey… wait a minute!”

“If I reveal myself right in front of them… th–they could be frozen in shock! ! A–And then I can shoot them with a love arrow point-blank!”

“There’s no way in heaven I could miss a point blank shot! … I’d get dragged to hell and back if I did…”

(A groan of loathing) “... I’ll still get dragged to hell and back if I pull this stunt at all…”

[they give a determined huff. ]

“I mean… I wouldn't be able to sign up for cupid duty anymore… and I might lose my privilege to visit Earth at all for the next 1000 years or something…”

“But I don’t even want to think about what Ernest might do if I come back without all the names on this list crossed off…”

“He’s an archangel for a reason…”

“Oh, screw it!I’m going to get the job done, no matter what!”

“I–If it goes wrong, I’ll just wipe their memory or something! Easy!”

[wings flapping]

“Alright… they’re all alone… no other humans nearby…”

“Nothing that could possibly affect my shot…”

“... Okay. Deep breaths, let’s do this.”

[deep breaths]

[magic poof]

“BE NOT AFRAID!”

[Bowstring twang]

[the arrow ricochets off the back wall]

[the arrow hits the cupid]

“AUGH!”

[they tumble to the ground]

[pause]

“Uggh– ow, that hit right in the head…”

(SFX: magic influx, something that plays that indicates the magic is taking hold)

“Oh no, oh God, this is bad…”

“This is really really bad…”

[pause]

“A–Am I okay?”

“What… a–aren’t you startled…?”

(thinking) Oh no… are you kidding me?! We can get affected by love arrows too?! H–How does that make sense?! Who’s idea was this?!

[pause]

“Um… y–yes… as you can see from my wings… I–I am an angel…”

“Well… these days, mortals like you call me ‘Cupid’…”

[pause]

“What am I doing here?”

“U–Uh… well you see…”

(thinking) What am I doing?! Am I about to just them everything?!

(thinking) My heart’s beating so fast… a–and they look so attractive…

(thinking) No, no! S-Snap out of it! It’s the- the love arrows, not your real feelings!

(thinking) Come on, wipe their memory and get out of here! Whatever Ernest will do would be better than this embarrassment!

“I was… well I was trying to hit you with a love arrow… but you somehow kept dodging …”

[pause]

“Um– well– it’s not that you mortals only fall in love because of us…! S–Some mortals fall in love organically, some don’t feel love at all, so we leave them alone… but if a mortal has been feeling lonely lately and looking for a partner, we– we help out a bit!”

“We don’t interfere in every aspect of human life. (A chuckle) , That would be exhausting.”

“But um… you…”

“... You kept dodging my arrows…”

[pause]

(with a huff of indignation) “I–I’m not a bad shot! I was doing just fine with every other human before you showed up on my list!”

“And then you just kept on sidestepping my arrows…!”

“... I’m kind of curious as to how, actually…”

(thinking) Oh god, this is really bad! I’m digging myself into a grave here…!! Come on, just– just fly away at least! Have someone else deal with the aftermath!

(thinking) … But I don’t want them to just… forget me… how many angels get the chance to speak directly to a human? Even guardian angels rarely have to step in in person…

(thinking) W–wait! That’s the love arrow talking!

(thinking) But… How could I not at least talk to them after scaring them like that?! I– I even shot at them with something they probably didn’t see…

[pause]

“Um… yeah, I… I tried to shoot you with a love arrow just now, but… it…”

[covers face in embarrassment]

(muffled) “It ricocheted off the wall and hit me…”

[pause]

“N–NO! This doesn’t mean I’m in love with you now!!!”

“L–Love arrows don’t work that way! The being has to be actively looking for someone to love!”

“See this crossbow? All I have to do is hit one of the intended pair, and then the crossbow will auto-target for me!”

[pause]

“... So why didn’t I just hit the other half of your intended pair?”

[long pause]

[facepalm]

“Oh my stars, I’m an idiot.”

[pause]

“I’m not blushing! I’m not!”

“I just– I’m-I messed up, AND in front of a human…”

“I must look like such a fool right now…”

[pause]

“I shouldn’t feel bad about an honest mistake…?”

“A–Ah… thank you…”

[pause]

“What happens now?”

“Um… I– I’m supposed to… to…”

(thinking) Nonono, I can’t tell them that I’m supposed to wipe their memory now! I don’t… I don’t want them toforget about me…

(thinking) The way they look at me… my heart’s racing…

(thinking) … Hey wait a minute. If the being hit by the arrow has to be looking for love in order to be affected by it, d–does that mean that I was looking for love?!

(thinking) That doesn’t make sense! I– I was dedicated to my duties as an angel! I wasn’t… lonely at all…

(thinking) … I wasn’t lonely… was I…?

[pause]

“Ah– I mean–”

(scrambling for an explanation) “I’m… s–supposed to watch over you for a while!”

[pause]

“Y–yeah! If we angels reveal ourselves to a human, then we have to become their guardian angel!”

(thinking) … Well that’s not technically a lie…

[pause]

“Y–Yeah… we do.”

(rambling) “In fact, there are Guardian Angels who don’t reveal themselves as angels to the humans they protect! They just turn into a human and become their closest friend instead! Wh–which makes things tougher in many ways, but it also comes with its own benefits!”

[pause]

“Huh…? Yeah, I have a human form.”

[pause]

“Oh, you want to see it?”

“Alright. One sec.”

[snaps fingers]

[magic tone]

[pause]

“... What do you think?”

[pause]

“H–Huh?! What do you mean my human form is- is attractive?!”

“I mean–”

[clears throat]

“Of course! We’re angels, after all!”

[nervous laughter]

“So… I have to stick around you now… w–whether you like it or not!”

[pause]

“... ‘cool’? Is that all you have to say?”

[pause]

“I… I thought you’d be annoyed or something…”

“Especially since I’ve been trying to shoot you with a love arrow this whole time…”

[pause]

“... It ‘works out’?! Wh–what do you mean it ‘works out’?!”

[pause]

“... You’ve been looking for a partner anyways, and I shot myself with a love arrow intended for you?”

“B–But–”

“That’s not how it works! It–”

[frustrated noises]

[pause]

“... I don’t have to date you if I don’t want to?”

“I– It’s not that I don’t– I mean– I shouldn’t–”

[groaning]

(defeated) “Oh screw it. I’m in too deep already.”

“But! I’m not going to date you just like that!”

“I… I want to be friends first… and see if this effect wears off.”

[pause]

“Ack– N–No! Like I said, love arrows aren’t supposed to affect angels!”

“Unless they meet the conditions… w–which I don’t! I definitely don’t!”

[heavy breathing]

[pause]

“Huh…?”

“... Coffee? You want to go get coffee with me?”

[pause]

“... Since I’ll be your guardian angel from now on, you want to show me around town?”

“Oh… um…”

[long pause]

(smiling) “... I’d like that.”

(thinking) \sigh*... I guess I’m going to beapplying to be a Guardian Angel…*

(thinking) But then again… they’re so kind and friendly.

(thinking) … Maybe it won’t be so bad, hanging around a human like this.

~END~

Thanks for reading!