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Script Directory

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Context: You prepared a Thanksgiving meal for your boyfriend's family last year. It didn't go well, and it's clear that they really don't like you. But you're fine with that. You've decided to try again this year and let everything just smooth itself over... right?

Setting: Your boyfriend's family home

Tags: [MFMM4F][Abusive Family Speakers][Sweet Boyfriend Speaker][Supportive]but[Vengeful Listener][Petty]to[Nuclear Revenge][Fighting][Mild Comedy][Awful Family][Comfort][Reverse Comfort][Don't Ever Come At Me Again With That BULL][CW: Abusive Family/Attacks/Disturbing Implications]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender swapping is totally fine! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording please DM me first. Thank you :3

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[J] = Jason, your sweet, gentle giant of a BF

[M] = Jason's bio-mom. Raging narcissist

[SD] = Jason's stepdad, Steve. Just a dick all-around

[T] = Tyler, Jason's younger stepbrother. Streamer, pervert, and about to have a whole community talking about him

Italicized text is Tyler's stream chat, and is optional. VAs can convey the scene however suits them :3

[Scene opens in the car, on the way over to Thanksgiving dinner]

[SFX: A car humming along]

[You sit in the passenger’s side, fiddling with something, while your boyfriend drives]

[J] “Hey, babe?”

[Pause?]

[J] “Listen… We can turn back and just have Thanksgiving at home. Last year was… so godamned awful for you. My family was… so awful to you, and I just sat there and I didn’t know what to do…”

[Pause <3]

[J] “Well, yeah, it was awful! My stupid stepbrother grabbed your chest from behind ‘as a prank’, my stepdad kept talking down to you and my Mom… Well, she did what she always did and ruined everything over a ‘burnt’ turkey… I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

[<3 <3 <3]

[He smiles shakily]

[J] “If you insist… This time, if we need to bail, you tell me. OK?”

[Pause.]

….

[Scene transitions to the mansion his family lives in]

[SFX: The car pulling up and parking]

[Like always, his mother rushes out and practically pounces on your boyfriend]

[M] “Jason!”

[J, exasperated] “Hi, Mom.”

[M] “Oh, you’re skinny as a twig! Aren’t you getting enough to eat? If you need *good* food, then I can certainly-”.

[Pause.]

[J] “Mom… I am a six-foot-five, three-hundred-pound boxer. I promise. I am getting more than enough.”

[Her smile turns into a cold sneer as she sees you]

[M] “Mmh. You made it.”

[Pause <3]

[She rolls her eyes]

[M] “Oh, I bet you wouldn’t miss it for the world… Most people in your neck of yearly pay wouldn’t.”

[J, warning] “Mom…”

[She sighs and gestures you in]

[M] “Fine, fine… What on Earth do you have on your heads?”

[J] “Oh, we were gonna go hiking this weekend and are just trying to get used to the headlamps. Neat, huh?”

[M] “Ugh, hiking is so dangerous. Was this *your* idea, Little Miss Adventure? Because you could very easily become-”.

[Pause?]

[She seems taken aback at your simple question]

[M] “Young lady! I was in the middle of-!”

[Pause?]

[M] “FINE! YOU CAN BRING THE FOOD IN! Good lord… Going to give me a heart attack… Steve, they’re here!”

[Steve, your boyfriend’s stepfather, gives a curt grunt]

[SD] “Still with this one, eh?”

[J] “Yes, Steve.”

[SD, rolling his eyes] “Good luck with that. Gold diggers are all the same.”

[Pause?]

[His mother turns scarlet]

[M] “No, I did not have a lot of money when I married Steve… Are you implying that I-?!”

[Pause?]

[M] “YES, YOU CAN BRING IN THE FUCKING TURKEY!!!”

[<3]

[You turn and practically skip off to grab the food. Or, so they think… Instead, you round the corner and head upstairs]

[SFX: Stairs being climbed and distant gaming noises]

[T, distantly] “-stupid older brother is here with his stupid girlfriend. She’s totally into me, haha. I got her by the chest last year and she *loved* it.”

[Pause…]

[T] “Yo, hold up, tho, I gotta go take a piss.”

[SFX: Him standing and exiting his room]

[He stomps out, looking no less greasy and grody than last time you saw him]

[T] “Oh. You’re here already.”

[Pause]

[You smile politely at Tyler who flips you off and trudges past to the bathroom]

[T] “Fuck out of my way, Roast, I have a piss more important than making nice with you.”

[SFX: Footsteps trudging off and the door slamming]

[You smile politely, remaining still for a moment before you creep into his room and wave into the camera to his chat]

[SFX: Chat going nuts]

[Note: Italicized text is chat and is optional dialogue, up to the VA’s discretion]

Yo who the hottie?

Damn, he's into the fine madames!

SHOW US YOUR-!

[You laugh the degeneracy off and just explain you’re dropping off a package for the little cave troll]

You can drop this package off!

Wait, are you his aunt?

[SFX: Chat doing what chat does best - being stupid and cat spams]

[You carefully set the package down, making a big show of letting people see what’s inside, and, ‘oh no’, the package splits open revealing a rather unfortunate amount of-]

HOLY SHIT

NO WAY DOES THE MAN NEED ALL THAT TO BRAG

WAIT, THAT’S ILLEGAL? WHERE THE LAWYER IN THE CHAT AT, I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE SOMEWHERE!!!

CALL AN AMBULANCE… BUT NOT FOR THIS GIRL, DAMN!

[Note: I will leave it up to the VAs discretion on what the Listener reveals]

[You oh-so-sincerely apologize to his audience for any trouble and wish them all a happy stream… and Thanksgiving, if they celebrate]

[SFX: The chat going nuts still and the Listener walking away]

…

[Time passes - thirty minutes or so]

[SFX: Plates and dishes being laid out]

[You stand back and admire your handiwork. You don’t think a cooking show could have made a prettier Thanksgiving spread. A few more twists and tucks and then you call for the others]

[SFX: The trio entering the dining room]

[SD] “Damn… This looks like a proper meal, actually done correctly.”

[<3]

[SD] “Any idea where Tyler is? He usually comes running at the first smell of food.”

[You shrug innocently]

[Pause~]

[J] “Everything looks amazing, babe. Thank you so much for spending all this time on it!”

[Pause <3]

[Even his mother seems impressed by the spread you prepared]

[M] “Well… It seems you certainly took my advice and improved from last year…”

[Pause?]

[She perks a surly eyebrow at you]

[M] “Hmm? No, I don’t see any burns this time.”

[Pause???]

[M, looking to your boyfriend’s stepdad in confusion. The man is too busy trying to sneak turkey]

[M] “Yes, I’m… I’m sure. Have you gotten even simpler since the last time you dragged your sorry self into our home?!”

[And that’s it. Without another word, you seize a fire extinguisher from under the table and fucking let loose on everything]

[SFX: A fire extinguisher going ham]

[SD] “The food!”

[Tyler runs into the room, red-faced and practically wailing]

[T] “MY WHOLE CHANNEL GOT BANNED! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!!!!”

[His mother, in all of her delight, stares at you in disbelief]

[M] “You… You insipid, crude, WASTE OF MY SON’S TIME! HOW DARE YOU! YOU AND YOUR FILTHY KIND!”

[Pause???]

[You feign innocence, only wanting the best for her and her palate. She rises in a rage, shaking with fury]

[M] “I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU PAY FOR THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE THOSE EARRINGS HE WASTED ON YOU! GIVE THEM TO ME, THIS SECOND!”

[She all but lunges at you and you respond in kind and weave around her]

[J] “Mom, that’s enough! All of you have been fucking AWFUL to the love of my life, treating her like garbage! That little ‘hiking headband’ we’ve both been wearing? Cameras.”

[Everyone in the room freezes]

[M] “Y-You… You don’t have my permission to record in my home!”

[SD] “Our home… And it’s a one-party state, Greta. I clearly didn’t beat it into you how important it is to keep bad influences out of the family, but I’m more than happy to do it now!”

[Pause!]

[J, innocently] “But my sweetie brought you all gifts! Look, Tyler, she got the very first sexy conversation you had with your e-girlfriend framed, and even made special versions for all your subscribers! Wasn’t that sweet?”

[SFX: The frame shattering on the table and the paper wafting free]

[His step-brother turns white as a sheet, staring down at some, admittedly, foul sexy talk]

[Pause?]

[J] “Oh, good question honey… How old is she, Ty?”

[Pause…?]

[SD, furious] “Tyler-!”

[T] “I-I… I hate you!”

[J] “The feeling is mutual. You ever talk trash or put hands on my girlfriend again, I’m going to take a page out of her book and make sure every trash-talking drama channel knows that you’re a creep.”

[His stepbrother lets out a litany of angry, young adult noises and races off into the depths of his little mansion]

[M] “You’re DISGUSTING, both of you! How could you do that to your own brother?!”

[For the first time since you’ve met him, your sweet, kind, gentle giant of a boyfriend, raises his voice]

[J] “Mom, shut the FUCK UP!”

[SFX: The fire crackling to fill in the tense silence]

[She takes a few steps back, eyes darting about. You know she’s about two seconds from pulling her normal bullshit, so you bull the same thing right back]

[M] “H-How could you pick on a poor, old woman?! And your own mother?!”

[Pause.]

[SFX: More paper folders being flung to the table]

[J] “Another good question, sweetie… How could you cheat on your own husband?”

[It’s her turn to go white as a sheet]

[M] “N-No, I-!”

[J] “With the local Reverend, too? Steve, isn’t he your golfing buddy? Lifelong friend? Must suck to know that he was using all of your generous ‘donations’ to take your wife out on the town, hm? And before you come at me, you best remember that every dirty little secret of yours, every bit of fraud, character assassination… I know, and my sweetie has proof.”

[His stepfather doesn’t pale, but he does look a strange mix of stoic and defeated]

[SD] “...What is it going to take to make this right, Jason. You and your little… girlfriend… clearly have no qualms about ruining lives.”

[Pause.]

[J] “She’s right. We don’t, because you had no qualms about trying to ruin mine. You’re a fucking prick, Steve, and if I could choose between giving you an organ to save your life or giving it to a dog to eat, I’d choose the dog… but you still don’t deserve this garbage human being of a wife.”

[M, wailing] “How can you say that?!”

[SD] “Greta, shut the FUCK UP!”

[Once again, the house quiets]

[J] “I want all of you to stay out of our lives, our business, our wedding, our…whatever. I don’t give a shit about my inheritance, and my sweetie doesn’t care about being rich. Save your fucking money… Tyler’s gonna need some damned good lawyers if he doesn’t want to end up a stain on a prison floor.”

[Pause]

[You gently tug his arm and he sighs]

[J] “...Yeah, I’m ready to go.”

[M] “NO!!! YOU CAN’T TAKE MY BABY!”

[She lunges again, ten times as wild, and you do the only thing you can think of]

[SFX: The lunge and then a fire extinguisher being blasted]

[You blast her in the face with the fire extinguisher. She lets out a howl and staggers back while you watch in incredible indifference. SD says nothing, simply looking at the mountain of papers and photos before him]

[Pause.]

[J] “Yep. See you all in Hell. C’mon, babe. I’m feeling like Chinese food for Thanksgiving.”

[Pause <3]

[With that, the three of you head out of the mansion and get into his car]

[...?]

[Your boyfriend chuckles]

[J] “Maybe a little too far… but I don’t think I’ve ever smiled that hard at seeing those three monsters knocked down a peg… especially after all the shit they put Pops through.”

[Pause!]

[J] “Hey, yeah! I bet Pops would be really happy to be over for the holidays! Good start to making a family that isn’t awful, eh?”

[SFX: The car turning on and heading off]

[Before you head off, he leans over and kisses you]

[J] “Mmh… But you were the best start I could have chosen. I love you, sweetheart…even if you are one petty little devil.”

[<3]

[The End?]

Note: IS THIS PETTY ENOUGH, TWITTER? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?? <3