Context: As one of the newer medics in your company, you’ve been subject to intrigue from a lot of your new colleagues. Unfortunately, one of those colleagues seems a little too interested in you… and the experiments he keeps doing in his lab definitely aren’t helping.

Words: 1203

Monetization: It’s perfectly ok to monetize and record any of my scripts, you can change pronouns and stuff around too! Just please remember to credit me! However, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PAYWALL MY SCRIPTS!

Notes: High difficulty script!

A/N: Can you tell that I’ve been playing a little too much of a certain game lately. Also he’s just a guy. A silly goofy guy. A funnyman. I love him.

[My Script Hub] [Nyan’s Sound Effects Drive]

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[muffled boom]

[muffled coughing]

[pneumatic door sliding open]

[louder coughing]

“Ugh–!”

“Goddammit…”

[recording device clicks]

“Experiment Number P1674… subject underwent rapid unplanned disassembly…”

[recording device clicks]

“That’s the fifth failure this week– oh hey!”

“Newbieeee! I haven’t seen you since I stole some of your hair last week!”

[pause]

“Er– Naaah, did I say your haaaair? Nooooo, I didn’t take any of your hair!”

“I meant your blood!”

[pause]

“... From the blood test you did when you came onboard! You know?”

[pause]

“Well– I wouldn’t say I stole your blood, but I will say that a fluid ounce or two miiight be missing from the sample… but besides that!”

[he leans onto a cart]

“What brings you here to my corner of the facility–”

[rolling cart noise]

“Whoa!”

[crash]

[pause]

“... Ow…”

“... I forgot that cart rolled.”

“Anyways! Hup!”

[he springs up]

“Ahem! Have we actually… introduced ourselves to each other?”

[pause]

“Yeah, I thought not.”

“Doctor Aaron Lee of Origin Labs. Nice to finally meetcha face to face!”

“This handsome face is one of the members of the research and development team. Yeah. You’re talking to a pretty big deal here, newbie! I’m one of the people who helps develop new medicines and treatments! Isn’t that nice?”

“Oop, no need to introduce yourself. I already know eeeeverything about you! Those employee files tell you a lot, you know!”

[pause]

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t know everything everything about you. Won’t be long before I do, though!”

[pause]

“Ah, nothing to worry about! Just something I’ve been cooking up in the background.”

“So! Why are you here? Here just to see my face? I know, I know, I’m very handsome. The ladies say it all the time.”

[pause]

“... Huh?”

[pause]

“You keep seeing me out of the corner of your eye?”

“Man, I thought I was sneakier than that.”

[pause]

“What? Stalking you? No! Nooooo, I would never!”

“I was just… checking up on ya! You know, it’s easy to get lost in this huge facility! Sooo I wanted to make sure you were doing okay, newbie!”

[pause]

“... The syringe I was holding in my hand was from a prior experiment! I would never poke anyone without their consent! C’mon, what kind of person do you think I am?”

[pause]

“Ah, that little poke on your arm could be from anything! What makes you think it’s from me of all people! Me! A harmless, feeble researcher who screams in terror at the sight of a cockroach!”

“... Forget that last part.”

[pause]

“Come oooon, look at my face! Does this handsome face look like he would lie to you?”

[pause]

“Yes? Oh come on!”

“I’m just another researcher! What makes you think that I would be following you around? I’m not a lost little puppy!”

“Though if you pet me on the head I certainly wouldn’t mind being oneee~”

[you smack him]

“Ow! Owowow hey! That hurt! Meanie…!”

[pause]

“But I wasn’t, I promiiiise! And all those tools you saw me carrying around while following you were just because I happened to have some experiment I needed to use it on!”

[pause]

“Oho! You have lots of evidence? What kind of evidence do you have, pray tell?”

[pause]

“... You. Put a hidden camera on your body.”

[he gulps]

“Uh– well! M–Maybe I was following you around…”

[pause]

“Why?”

[unintelligible grumbling/pouting]

“... I was trying to get a sample… or fifty…”

[pause]

“Oh come oooon, don’t look at me like that!”

“I just want to know everything about my fellow colleagues! That includes their favorite foods, their spice tolerance, their sleep schedule, their habits, their blood type, how they sleep, what kind of chemicals are in their bodies…”

“And since you’re a newbie, I needed lots of samples to know everything about you!”

[pause]

“Hm? Sorry, repeat that? I couldn’t quite hear…”

[pause]

“C’mon, say it a little louder? I promise I couldn’t hear it!”

[pause]

“Hahaha! That title always gives me a thrill!”

“The Mad Scientist of Origin Labs! That’s me, in the flesh, bone, and the many chemicals that are probably in my body from my experiments!”

“Yup! No wonder they call me that. Mad scientist… man I like how that title sounds.”

[pause]

“... Huh?! You already told Doctor Amy about me?!”

“Uh– she wasn’t that angry, right?! I mean– she knows that I tend to do this to everyone, right? Right??”

[pause]

“... She said that I’ve been experimenting on you for an extended amount of time?”

“Ah…”

[nervous laughter]

“Hmmm, that’s what she said? Well she told you that it was normal of me to experiment on my colleagues, but ah– that last part…”

[he clears his throat]

“Now that’s new… hehehe…”

[pause]

“You… want to know why?”

“Well ah… um…”

[long pause]

“Well… I can't put my finger on why exactly, but... I find you interesting!”

[pause]

“Yup! There’s something special about you, you know! I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on you!”

“What could it be that made my heart rate increase to abnormal rates so quickly when I laid my eyes on you for the first time? That’s right! You must have something different about you!”

“So I’ve been trying to figure out what it is about you that caused such an abnormal response from my body! That’s why I’ve taken a special interest in you!”

"I've been running experiments to see if there was something that caused this abnormal response, but so far? Nothing! You hide your secrets a little too well!"

“You should be honored, you know! It’s not every day that someone catches my attention and holds it in such an iron grip! Why I’ve barely thought about my actual research ever since you came here!”

“It’s starting to get a tad annoying, how you occupy all my thoughts… if that’s a magical power of yours or whatever it is, I’d really appreciate it if you stopped it, you know! It’s interfering with my work!”

[pause]

“... Why is your face so red?”

“Ack– could it be that you’re having an abnormal response too?! The same thing happened too!”

“Oh, that’s fascinating! You’re affected by your own strange properties!”

“Hey! I’ve got an idea!”

[pause]

“Weeeell, I want you to come in! You can work under me for a while! You haven’t chosen which department to work in yet, yeah?”

[pause]

“Awesome! So you can come work in the R&D Department with me! That way, I can study you better, and you can get the experience you need to help out Origin Labs!”

“How about it? Wanna come in as an official test sub– er– assistant?”

[pause]

“... Really?! You will?!”

[he laughs]

“Oh, this is fantastic! My test subject came to me of their own accord!”

“Ah– I mean– my… assistant came to me! Now I don’t have to rely on the robots to stabilize experiments I can’t deal with right that instant…”

“Right! Come on, let’s go! No time to lose, we have experiments to do!”

[pause]

“Go where? Why HR of course! We need to grab the documents to register you as my actual assistant!”

“I do some things by the book, you know!”

“... Not that I do things against the rules! None! Nothing at all! Ahahaha…”

[he clears his throat]

“Come on now, test sub– assistant! There’s a lot of experiments we must do today!”

“Onwards to new discoveries!”

~END~

Thanks for reading!