Context: You'd been with him for so long, almost since middle school. He'd always had a bit of an ego, and becoming a rockstar certainly didn't help. The partying, the long times apart, his growing attitude, and selfishness became too much, and you cut things off. But a new predicament has arrived and, well... you have to talk to him.

Setting: The Listener's home

Tags:[M4F][Loves to Exes][Rockstar Ex-Boyfriend Speaker][Pregnant Listener][Angst][Pregnancy][Confession][L-Bombs][Argument][Making-Up?][Uncertainty][Regret][Pleading][CW: Break-up/Pregnancy/Anxiety Attack]

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[Scene opens in the Listener’s home]

[SFX: A phone ringing/the Listener pacing]

[Pause]

[SFX: Still ringing/pacing]

[...]

[SFX: Half a ring before the Speaker answers with a surly, tired:]

“Hey.”

[Pause]

“What do you want, it’s 10 PM on a Tuesday.”

[...]

“...Look, I really can’t do this right now. You dumped me. You can sort out the scheduling of me needing to come to pick up shit or whatever. Just please leave me alone.”

[...]

“...You’re… sorry. That’s it? That’s all you had to say after kicking my apparently pathetic ass to the curb?”

[...]

“For fuck’s… Please don’t start with the waterworks, I cannot. I can not. If that’s all you had to say then can I please just-”.

[Pause!]

[You finally manage to get the words out. He goes silent for a good bit]

[SFX: Him reacting to the news quietly and then falling quiet for another:]

[Pause]

“...You’re… pregnant.”

[...]

“I-I…”

[Pause…]

“Wait, what?! You just ‘wanted to tell me it existed before we parted’?! Why on God’s green Earth would you think I wouldn’t want to be a father?!”

[Pause!]

“What…? No! Look, I know I’m a kind of a celebrity and I have to be out partying a lot, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a father!”

[Pause!!!]

[He falls silent again]

“...Why would you think I’d want to be a father when I made it clear I never wanted to be a husband…? Baby, I… Fuck. I get it, OK? I’m away a lot. I party a lot. Not the best environment for a kid… But we can change that, it’s no problem!”

[...Pause.]

“W-What? No, just because I’m saying it’s no problem now doesn’t mean it wasn’t a problem then! Fans don’t like seeing rockstars married or in a relationship. They direct all that pent-up frustration at an innocent person whose only crime was being with said rockstar. You’re so sweet, baby, I didn’t want those sharks to tear you apart…”

[Pause?]

“...Would I change it for you now?”

[...]

[He struggles for a moment before he utters a quiet:]

“Oh, my god…”

[...?]

[You hear his distress through the line, desperate and pleading]

“No, I…? No. No! No, there’s no way I’m that… awful. I’m working on the drinking! I quit the… other things, just for you! I swear, this isn’t about you, I just… the idea of getting married scares me. You barely avoided it for all these years, and now you’re going to be getting harassment from the paparazzi, and I… You know I love you, right?”

[...]

“You know this isn’t about you? Oh, thank god, I-”.

[Pause.]

“It…never has been? N-No, don’t… Don’t say that.”

[...]

“Baby… I love you… Tried and true, red and blue, remember? That was our secret greeting back in middle school. The first time I took your hand, and you turned so red, and I said, ‘I betcha one day I’m going to m…m-marry…you’...”

[Pause]

[It takes you aback when he lets out a quiet sob]

“No! No, fuck, FUCK! FUCK!”

[SFX: Some muffled crashing]

[Pause!!]

“No, no, no, no, how could I do this?! How could I fuck up this badly?!”

[SFX: More crashing]

[Pause!!!]

[You raise your voice and the crashing stops]

“H-Huh?”

[Pause]

“B-Breathe… Ah… OK. OK… Phew.”

[His breathing calms but remains slightly shaky]

[Pause?]

“...Am I OK?”

[...]

“...No.”

[Pause]

“Talk you through it? Fuck, I’ll… I’ll try. There’s this comedian. Her name’s Susan, real big lady, loves to fight. But she did this bit that always stuck with me. I’m paraphrasing, but, ‘The worst thing about being famous is knowing the chin kick is coming. Or, as I like to call it, the ‘fuck-up finale’. It’s a culmination of all the shitty things we did while drunk on power, under the assumption Karma would let us speak to its manager. The fuck-up finale is when it all crashes down but, not just that, you realize it’s happening. You learn your lesson just one second too late… Bit shit, yeah?’.”

[Pause?]

“This is a fuck-up finale, yea. I knew one would come eventually. Figured it’d be an addiction or an overdose or a homicide… The usual celebrity methods, you know? Or I’d be sitting in an old folk’s home with no visitors, just waiting to die. But it’s none of that. It’s this. Realizing that I’ve lost you and my stupid, hole-filled mass of gel-thoughts couldn’t make it anyone else’s fault. Oh god, it hurts so badly…”

[...]

[He cries for a moment as you struggle to think of what to say]

“...Do you know if it’s…a boy or a girl yet?”

[Pause]

“Too soon to tell… Oh… I hope they get your eyes. You have such amazingly beautiful eyes…”

[...]

“...You were right. I don’t know why I wanted to pick fights with you so often, I just… It felt like we were drifting apart and I just wanted to get your attention.”

[Pause]

“...I do want to be in the child’s life. Not just pay support or whatever I need to do. I want to be at appointments and to help pick names and… and I want to be there for you, too, alright? Gods know you probably need the support…”

[...]

“...First appointment on the eleventh at 10 AM? No problem, I’ll be there. That’s with Dr. Casale?”

[Pause]

“OK…”

[He pauses for a moment, sniffling]

“...Do you still love me?”

[...]

“...I know… I know I disappointed you, but I still… “

[Pause.]

“Right. Sorry. I’ll, um… text you in the morning and I guess we go from there… Are you OK?”

[...]

[He lets out a timid laugh]

“Yeah, dumb question. I’m terrified, too, but… I’ll do my best not to disappoint our child. Even if we raise them separately, I want them to know that… their Dad still loved their Mom. If you have cravings or anything, please just… Please don’t shut me out, OK? I know you’re tough but the thought of something happening to either of you… Makes my chest feel like it’s collapsing inward.”

[Pause]

“Right, yeah. I’ll talk to you tomorrow… Can… Can you say it back, just one more time? Please?”

[...Pause]

[He exhales, audibly pained]

“I love you, too. Night, baby.”

[SFX: The call ending]

[To be continued?]