Context: Your relationship with him was always a little rocky. As much as he loved you, your boyfriend always seemed to be angry about this or that. Then, it happened. A truck nearly mowed you down and he saved your life, at the cost of an arm and a working hip. Despite it all, you're still there with him, and he wants to know why. What will you tell him?

Setting: Home

Tags:[M4A][Established Relationship][Wounded Tsundere Boyfriend Speaker][Genuinely Loving Listener][Angst][Near Breakup?][Trauma][Car Accident][Healing Together][Reverse Comfort][Bitter]but[Trying][Cuddles][Nightmare][CW: Mention of Car Accident/Trauma/Breaking Up]

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[Scene opens up at home]

[SFX: Someone tossing and turning in bed]

[You’re mostly asleep when you hear your partner begin to toss and turn, muttering hurriedly under his breath]

“N-No… No, you have to move-!”

[Pause…?]

“Baby, there’s a truck coming, you have to move!!!”

[At the mention of the truck, you turn toward him and try to gently wake him up]

“Baby…?! Baby! Jesus Christ, NO-!”

[He sits up with a horrified gasp, panting]

“No… Sweetheart…?”

[Pause]

[He looks at you, eyes wild before he seems to realize you’re there]

“You’re… here. Oh, thank God, I… I saw it all happening again, just like it did two years ago… Jesus, wasn’t losing an arm enough?!”

[...]

“Don’t… apologize. It’s not your fault it happened… I’m the one that tackled you out of the way, and I was damned lucky to have made it in time…”

[He looks away, tense]

“I saw it barreling down toward you, all over again… Heard the horn blare. Just you and Blondie in front of an oncoming truck, both terrified. Frozen… And we’d just had that stupid fucking fight.”

[...]

[He takes a shaky breath and exhales]

“...For as long as you’d known me up to that point, I’d always been angry… Even our happiest moments together were ones where I was constantly looking for a fight. Being angry was just how I lived. Then I saw that truck and… it was gone.”

[Pause…?]

“The anger, yeah. It was all… gone. As if it had never needed to be there in the first place. Do you know what took its place almost immediately?”

[Pause?]

“Fear.”

[His voice grows quiet. Small]

“...I hadn’t been that scared since I was a little boy and my Uncle looked me in the eye and said he’d kill me, no problem if the mood struck him. Then, he felt like something so powerful that nothing could stop him. And that’s what this felt like. What do you call it in your fancy literary terms?”

[Pause?]

“Force of nature, that’s it. In one second, I’d lost control over everything I cared about in my life. My brain had already started to erase you to try and lessen the blow, and I saw you start to move so I was certain you’d move in time! But… then you tripped over Blondie’s leash. You threw Blondie to safety, but…”

[...]

“...Did you ever think about leaving me?”

[Pause.]

“No? What about… before the accident?”

[...]

[He exhales through his nose at your silence]

“...It’s OK. I don’t blame you. That’s one bit of good that came from that night. Having all of that control torn away didn’t just give me room to feel. It gave me room to hurt… and I can never explain how it felt to hear all the things I said repeated back. How… How much I hated myself at that moment. I just kept seeing the light in your eyes die, more and more, little by little, and it made me want to fucking die, just so you could be free of all of this!”

[...]

“...And that’s when I ran between you and the truck, yeah. Makes it seem selfish, doesn’t it? Like I was trying to run from having to confront you… I wouldn’t have, I… I hope that’s evident.”

[Pause]

[He shifts a little and pats next to him]

“Fancy a bit of a cuddle?”

[SFX: The Listener cuddling up]

[He puts his good arm around you as you settle at his side]

“There we go… Thank you. Always did like our ‘heavy talk’ cuddles. Not the most pleasant, but… It’s nice having you here when I start breaking down again.”

[Pause]

[He’s quiet for a moment before he lets out a quiet, casual:]

“Being lefthanded now fucking sucks.”

[Pause!]

[He grins as you try and muffle a laugh]

[Pause <3]

“...I love you, too, sweetheart.”

[Pause]

[For a moment, the two of you cuddle while rain pours outside]

“...I have to ask something before it eats a hole in my damned brain. Why did you stick with me? You could’ve moved on without needing to think about me twice, and… I need to know. It’s driving me crazy not knowing, so… Why are you still here, two years later?”

[Longer Pause]

“...I was afraid of that being your answer.”

[Pause?]

“Well, no, it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s that it’d be exactly what I’d hoped for. I… don’t think it’s a secret that, when I woke back up, I was in a dark place. Angrier than usual, too. Part of me wanted to lash out at you… To try and blame you for this. I never acted on those horrible thoughts, but… The reason I was able to fight those thoughts is that I dreamed that you stuck with me because you really did love me, all this time…”

[Pause]

[He smiles. It’s heartwrenching]

“...Yeah, I knew I wasn’t getting off easy this time either… I guess part of me hoped that you’d be horrible just so I could feel less shitty about being horrible…”

[His voice breaks and he struggles not to lose control]

“...Isn’t that fucking awful?”

[Pause]

[He shakes against you as you rest a hand on his chest]

“...I don’t know what I’d do without you, baby, I… I-I really don’t. I don’t know what it is you see in me, but I hope it’s enough to make up for all the times I’m shitting and miserable. Me losing a fucking arm and having a bad hip isn’t an excuse to act up.”

[Pause]

“Huh? What do you mean I just showed you what you see in me?”

[Pause]

“...I know how to acknowledge when I messed up, now, and you trust me to make an effort to be better?”

[SFX: Borzoi noises]

[You both smile as Blondie leans up against the bed]

“H-Hey, Blondie… Daddy’s OK. Just showing emotional vulnerability to the love of his life.”

[SFX: Borzoi snuffs]

“Oh, of course, sorry. Loves of his life. Sorry, baby, you know how jealous Blondie gets.”

[<3 Pause <3]

“Heh… I guess, if Blondie is doing her little Borzoi dance, it’s time for me to stretch my legs, huh? Bit rainy out for a walk, though.”

[Pause?]

“Do I… want to dance with you?”

[Pause?]

[His smile warms and he wipes his eyes]

“You know what? I’d love to. Maybe, after that, I can try and help you make some nice popcorn and we can watch a movie together, eh?”

[Pause!]

[SFX: The Listener helping him stand]

“Nngh… There we go. Brace me. Yep, good job.”

[As you brace him, he gives the top of your head a little nudge with his lips]

“...Thank you for not giving up on me, sweetheart. I’ll do my best to be worth the wait.”

[You assure him you aren’t waiting and lead him into the living room, turning on his old record player]

[SFX: Dancing music of the VA’s choice to fade out on]

[The End?]

***

Note: Ow, stabbed in the heart by my own angst :(

Second Note: So there used to be this shrimp thing called Anomalocaris and I want to sneak it into a script and by God, I will fucking find a way.