This post has been de-listed (Author was flagged for spam)
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
Context: You were just out getting groceries when some strange, winged man started trying to shoot you with magic arrows. He states that you'll be much happier once you accept the love of a man you've never met. Seems there's been a tiny complication in his plan though... He's been pricked by his own arrow.
Setting: A secret office/the city streets
Tags:[M4A][Strangers to Lovers][Corrupt Cupid Speaker][Bewildered Listener][Contract][Cupid's Arrow][Chase][Obsession][Fighting Back][Indifferent]to[Yandere]['True Love'][Paid 'Bounty Hunter'][Accidental Love Triangle?][Greek Mythology References][Trouble][CW: Implied Forced Love/Brainwashing]
Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects.
Monetization: Monetization is OK with me, be it Youtube, Patreon, etc. but if you have any questions, feel free to DM me.
***
[Scene opens in a fancy business office]
[SFX: Typing]
[A man stands behind another man, smilingly to himself]
âHmhm, itâs no trouble to be here so late, sir. I know that the condition you suffer from can be especially unpleasant. So, I am more than happy to help.â
[Pause]
âWell, the money doesnât hurt at all, no. But if you want the best, the price has to match. So, who is the lucky little object of your deep, twisted affections, hmm?â
[Pause]
[SFX: More typing]
âAh, here on the computer sure. Ooh. This is the one you want, huh? Letâs seeâŚâ
[Pause]
âHehe, yeah, fair enough. Well, the cost is the same, either way. You want this one to fall in love with you, itâs going to be a cool million.â
[Pause]
[SFX: A sack of money being dropped]
âPerfect. Youâre my kind of client, Mister. No arguing, no needling. You know what you want and know how to get it. Respect.â
[Pause]
âHow does it work? Oh, itâs pretty easy. One hit from my bow and theyâll be desperately in love with whoever they see first, which will be you. Once thatâs done, theyâll be hopelessly in love with you for the rest of their life.â
[...Pause?]
âHmm? Is that the case for all my package deals? Haha, no, not at all! The lesser packages get a lesser dosage. Wears off faster. The weakest one is one week, and the strongest one below yours is about⌠twenty years? Hehe, thatâs my favorite to propose to people who annoy me. Imagine twenty-plus years of marital bliss and then BAM! The âlove of your lifeâ is doing everything they can to get away from you.â
[Pause!]
[The man raises his hands for peace, smiling nonchalantly]
âHey, hey, easy. Iâm not trying to trivialize the struggles of folks like you, not at all! Iâm just a businessman, running a business, as I see fit. Now, with the payment all completed, I will be more than happy to go and take care of your âdarlingâ for you, mmkay?â
[Pause]
âYep, I should have them in the next three days. Theyâll be running into your arms, head over heels in love. Ta~!â
[SFX: A magical poof]
**[Scene transitions to the city streets]*\*
[SFX: Late night city ambiance]
[Youâre walking back from the corner store late at night, largely minding your own business, when a can slips free from a grocery bag]
[SFX: Footsteps, paced out/a can falling followed by the Listener bending to get it]
[You bend to grab it, seconds before an arrow lodges into the space where your shoulder had been]
[Pause!]
âAhh, damn! Foiled by a can of fallen corn! Canât say Iâve ever been felled by dollar store corn. First time for everything, I suppose. Be careful touching that arrow, dear⌠In the wrong hands, you can do some rather disturbing things with it.â
[Pause?!]
[You whip around and see a well-dressed man walking your way, a bow in hand]
âOh, quit with the stammering and the questioning, sweetie, I donât want to kill you. Iâm just fulfilling a contract to make you fall in love with a man youâve never met because he just so happens to be madly in love with you.â
[...?!]
âHehe, yeah. That bewildered âWhat?!â is the standard response. Yanderes, sweetheart. A different class from you and me, I guess. Ah well. At least heâs nice and rich, sweet cheeks!â
[SFX: An arrow being notched]
âNow, be a love and hold still, wonât you?â
[Pause!!]
[You grab the arrow in the wall and run for it as more arrows whistle by your head]
âOh, come ON! The game is on in two hours and I want to be home in time to pregame a little! Câmooon, heâs not bad looking and, as I said, heâs riiicchhh. Full package, honey!â
[Pause!!]
[SFX: More arrows flying and the Listener desperately running]
âUgghh, why are you humans like this?! You bitch and moan about wanting to fall in love, then it gets dropped in your lap and all of a sudden itâs all, âNoooOoooOooo, my free will!â. Blughh, cry me a river. Câmon, letâs just make this easy for each other!â
[SFX: More arrows flying]
[Pause!]
âOh my fucking Zeus, you humans are so⌠UGHHH! And you can keep collecting my arrows all you want, sweetheart, itâs not going to help you! They donât go for that much anymore!â
[SFX: More arrows flying and the Listener running]
âGeeze, are you part rabbit?! Hold still!â
[Pause!]
[He grumbles, still persisting]
âKnew I shouldnât have started on that bottle of whiskey before coming to do this, hic. Fuckâs sake⌠Used to be able to shoot even when drunk on the finest fucking drinks, and now I canât hit some arrow-hoarding pet trying to shield themselves with cans of fucking corn!â
[SFX: Even more arrows]
âAlright, thatâs it, Iâm coming down there!â
[SFX: A big olâ swoop of wings and the Listener falling]
[A rush of air knocks you over, your poor groceries clattering about]
[SFX: Groceries spilling]
[A winged man lands in front of you, annoyed as anything]
âThere we go. Now that Iâve got you knocked on your ass, could you please just hold still and let me shoot you between the eyes?â
[Pause?!?!]
[He rolls his eyes with an overdramatic sigh]
âWhy between the eyes? Itâs the fastest method, donât judge me! Just hold stillâŚâ
[SFX: The bow being notched]
âThere we go⌠Just going to put my shoe on your shoulder to hold you still, sweet thing. Try not to get too scuffed up, I donât want to have to do a partial refund.â
[Pause!]
[He draws the bow back with the smarmiest grin youâve ever seen]
âRelax! Falling in love with a yandere is the best thing thatâll ever happen to you, sweetheart! Now, hold still!â
[You grab one arrow from the many youâve collected and stab it into his leg as hard as possible]
[SFX: Stab stab stab/The Speaker falling back]
âNNGH! OW! You⌠You fucking stabbed me in the leg with my own arrow!!â
[Pause!!!]
[SFX: The Listener scrambling up]
âGah! Nngh, FUCK! Donât⌠Donât you go anywhere, got it?! I still need to finish my damned jobâŚâ
[...]
âOK⌠O-OK, this hurts a lot, ow⌠Nngh, yep, I am seeing the humor in being stabbed by my own arrow⌠Ggnh, damn⌠At the very least, I donât need to worry about⌠abâŚabout⌠Gods, youâre beautifulâŚâ
[Pause]
â...Oh no.â
[You take a few steps back as he looks around in a daze]
âW-Wait, no, this shit isnât meant to work on me! Thereâs no way! No no no no no, not like this, câmon, thereâs no way?!â
[...?]
âNngh⌠I⌠I-I donât know, my heart is going insane! I want to know more about you, no, EVERYTHING about you!â
[...!]
âWait-! Wait, donât go!â
[The man looks up at you, desperate and panicked]
âW-Wait! Wait, I need you! Come back!â
[SFX: The Listener running away]
âDARLING!â
[Youâre long gone]
[SFX: Him punching a trash can]
âDAMNIT! NO! No no no no, this canât be happening⌠It canât be! The second She finds out, Iâm fucking dead!â
[SFX: His phone ringing]
[He sucks in air through his teeth and forces a smile as he answers his phone:]
âHeyyyy MoooommâŚâ
[To be continued?]
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 year ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/ASMRScriptH...