Context: You've been invited on to a show called 'Romancing the Mystery', where bachelors compete for both your hand and a massive cash prize. It's been quite a ride, thus far, and you're eager to see who will win your hand... and what 'mystery' they are hiding.

Setting: A TV set - mansion

Tags:[MMMMM4F][Strangers to Lovers?][TV Host Speaker][Himbo Werewolf Speaker][Kuudere Lamia Speaker][Bakadere Harpy Speaker][???? Shy Speaker][Bachelorette Listener][Flirting][Reality TV][Competition][Spicy][Mild Comedy][Mystery?][Reverse Comfort][Listener Is The Prize][Fighting For Listener][CW: Mention of Anxiety]

Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:

Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! Youtube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!

***

[H] = The host

[B] = Blake, a himbo werewolf

[V] = Varik, a kuudere lamia

[S] = Seren, a bakadere harpy

[F] = Frankie, ?????, some issues to consider

***

[Scene opens on the set of a reality TV]

[SFX: Canned applause]

[H] “Last time, on Romancing the Mystery, our Bachelorette saw the elimination of Griffin after an EXPLOSIVE incident in the kitchen when it came to the wedding cake challenge! An emotional departure, to be sure! Let’s check in with our bachelors to see how they’re feeling about their chances with the lucky lady?”

[JUMP CUT]

[B] “I mean, I think I have a shot! She smiled at me when we were in the hot tub!”

[JUMP CUT]

[V] “Blake does realize that she only smiled at him because his tail kept tickling her, right? Who wants to be tickled by a wet werewolf tail?”

[JUMP CUT]

[S] “Heehee, Varik is just mad that he fell asleep in the hot tub with her. We’re not allowed to tell her what supernatural creature we are, so she just saw Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome flick his tongue out before just curling up for a nap. Lamias, right?

[JUMP CUT]

[F] “Oh God, oh no, oh geeze, please don’t make me reveal my real form! No no no, I really like her, but-!”

[JUMP CUT]

[The host smiles back into the camera as the static from the cut fades away]

[H] “Welcome back, folks! For those of you just joining us, allow me to reintroduce our bachelors: Blake, our dapper park ranger! Varik, our Boho artist! Seren, our rookie football star, and Frankie, our high school teacher! And, of course, the lovely Bachelorette whose heart they are competing for! What do you think, my dear? A few more rounds and you’ll be able to pick the perfect man for you!”

[Pause!]

[The host laughs smoothly]

[H] “Yes! The little twist that comes with our show - once you’ve selected your bachelor, he will have a secret to reveal to you! You can choose to stay with him and keep the money that comes with it, OR you can rebuke his love and each of you keeps half. Exciting, isn’t it?”

[Pause?]

[The host rolls his eyes subtly]

[H] “Aww, she’s got a bleeding heart, folks. Don’t you worry, missy! No one is in any danger, nor will they be at the end. These lovely gentlemen are under no duress at all.”

[B, from a distance] “We promise, Miss! We’re OK! I think Frankie has some unresolved anxiety issues, though!”

[SFX: Silence…]

[Pause…]

[B] “...OH SHIT, WAIT, THAT WASN’T TO TRY AND GET HIM DISQUALIFIED OR ANYTHING! I SWEAR!”

[SFX: Canned laughter]

[H] “Hahaha, oh Blake! So charming. Isn’t he, my dear?”

[Pause?]

[The host’s smile turns almost into a grimace]

[H] “Frankie… is fine. Aren’t you, lad?”

[F] “A-Ah… uhm… y-yes?”

[H] “Great! Now, let’s go ahead and start the round! This is a simple one, gentleman. Our Bachelorette has one question for all the bachelors today. All you have to do is answer earnestly and then she’ll choose who she wants to spend the evening with! Easy peasy, huh? Go on, then, my dear!”

[SFX: Musical stings, if desired]

[You read off your question, looking between the bachelors]

[H] “Ooh, an interesting one! ‘How would you spend a rainy afternoon with me?’. Let’s start with Blake, shall we?”

[Pause]

[B] “A rainy afternoon? Ooh! A walk! Walking in the rain and splashing in puddles is a lot of fun! If it was warm enough, then I’d take you for a nice walk around the park because the park has the best puddles!”

[SFX: Canned applause]

[H] “Very, um, wholesome… And Varik?”

[V] “Gah, these fucking studio lights are s- a-ahem! I um… The mood lighting would be perfect to have you pose for a painting. The intimacy between canvas and artist is especially intense on rainy afternoons…”

[SFX: Canned applause]

[H] “Very spicy! And how’s about you, Seren?”

[S] “Oh, movies! Nothing better than a good movie while it rains outside! Your choice, of course.”

[SFX: Canned applause]

[H] “Nice and straightforward. Alright, Frankie… if you think you can speak…?”

[Pause?]

[Frankie nervously meets your gaze as you try to smile encouragingly]

[F] “I-I, um… I-I think… y-you’re the kind of person who… t-treasures rainy days… s-s-so, I think your choices would be more meaningful than mine. I-I’d trust… you to… t-to um… pick something good.”

[SFX: Canned boos]

[He flinches as the set produces the canned ‘boo’ sound effect]

[H] “Frankie, Frankie, you gotta put yourself out there!”

[Pause!]

[The host jumps a bit as you stand and scold him]

[H] “U-Uh… Miss, you need to sit back down, this is part of the show.”

[Pause!!]

[SFX: An actual, live audience going ‘ooooh’]

[H] “Alright, alright! Apologies for the booing, Frankie, sheesh1 We’ve got a fiery one this season, my friends!”

[SFX: Canned laughter]

[H] “A-Ahem… So, the bachelors have presented their answers, my dear! What do you think? Who would you like to spend a nice, romantic evening with? Remember, you have a budget to work with, and anything goes… so long as it’s spicy enough!”

[Pause]

[SFX: The audience ‘gasping’]

[H] “R-Really? You want all of them to have dinner with you? I, uh…”

[You see him turn to the nearest cameraman and hear him whisper:]

[H] “Is… is that allowed?”

[B] "Yeah, is it? Cause that sounds like a lot of fun!"

[V] "Just not the hot tub again, please..."

[S] "Ooh, there's this place nearby that does great ribs!"

[F] "O-Oh Lucifer, help me..."

[Pause]

[H] “I… did say anything goes, true, so long as it was spicy…”

[Pause?]

[SFX: The crowd getting riled up]

[H, yanking at his collar] “A-Ahem! Well, I can’t stand here and say that four gents with one woman doesn’t have the potential to turn a little spicy! BUT, this is PG-13, so let’s keep it PG-13 spicy, shall we?”

[Pause~]

[H] “Well… It seems our bachelors are in for an interesting night, audience! Our Bachelorette is the large and in-charge sort, and I am LIVING for it! But will the bachelors be able to live through it? We’ll find out next episode!”

[SFX: Canned applause and cheering]

[The host smiles as the show ends around you before he turns, smile waning]

[H] “...Cute move, Missy, but try not to do it again, hmm? I don’t appreciate any attempts to upstage me.”

[Pause]

[H] “Hmph… Yeah, yeah, we’ll set up the date. Just try not to do anything too crazy, alright? Off camera.”

[Pause]

[H] “Yeah, yeah… Good luck, Miss Bachelorette. You’re going to need it with those four.”

[To be continued?]