This is straight up inspired by Link and Zelda I'm not even gonna hide that, so if this doesn't make any sense just keep that in mind. Next Script is gonna be in the apocalypse Laser-Verse.

As always good to monetize and modify and I dig feedback.

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/timeraft

Archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/ASMRScriptHaven/comments/x9hb9v/script_archive/

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Dialogue in plane text

*Sound in bold between asterisks\*

(Context in parentheses and italics)

[Context that changes the audio in bold italics between brackets]

(Listener is the chosen one to the Guardian/monarch/god/wizard/person/thing that protects their valley from the encroaching darkness. Whenever they need something they call upon the chosen one. Like literally Every. Time. The Chosen One is getting a bit tired TBH and has anyone even seen this demon army? Somebody better get to the bottom of this)

(Chosen one lies in bed dreaming, the ethereal voice of the guardian calls out to them through the mists of the dreamlands)

The Blood Moon rises once again

Across the valley the shadows grow deeper and longer

Let ye who hath ears hear! For I the guardian of this valley speak!

This land is a speck of light surrounded by shadows ready to snuff it out at any moment

I cannot allow that

If you can hear me dreamer know this: You are my chosen one

My champion, the one who will carry my banner of unending light into the endless battle against the immortal darkness.

For thousands of years I have held the line against the legion of Immortal darkness. Never wavering, never doubting my purpose.

But my power grows dim oh champion mine. Lo the demons gather round with bloody gums and sharpened blades. I cannot hold the tide without your help. I require your bravery.

My soul is tormented by a mighty gnawing hunger that threatens to sap my strength until I am too weak to hold off the master of eternal shadows. If you can hear me, please heed my words!

Ride out tonight. Take nothing with you but what you shall need for your quest.

Go down into the deepest depths of the valley to that nice 24 hour Thai restaurant on highway 22. Go there, Chosen One for they and they alone possess what you shall need.

Go there and order me a bowl of Thai Curry Soup! The largest portion they offer!

Then make haste! You must ride to my observatory on the highest peak of the highest mountain. If you have not brought me this soup ere it goes cold I will succumb to despair and hunger! And lo the valley shall fall to shadow!

Rise oh chosen one! Rise from thy slumber! For I have need of your courage once again!

In my name oh Champion Rise!

(pause)

Rise!

(Pause)

Rise….

(Pause)

I said rise gosh dang it! Get your lazy ass out of bed and get me some soup! I’m starvin up here!

Yes, the safety of the valley is at stake! I would never call upon my chosen one if it wasn't life or death! Even now oh Champion I see the icy hand of death approaching.

That time with the couch doesn't count! That was just you helping me as a friend!

Listen, don't you know the prophecy?

You know the prophecy! Uhhhh the great sage Jimmy once said:

*Opening narration for a overly dramatic fantasy movie voice\*

“In the darkest of nights the truth was laid before I in the form of prophecy. Lo for it is known to the wise. When the planets align a great hunger shall strike the guardian of the valley. Only the soupbringer will be able to prevent calamity! Let him who has reason Reckon the identity of the soupbringer. For they shall be known when the guardian speaks to them in their dreams.”

Should I have made that rhyme?

Look, just because I made it up right now doesnt mean it isn't a prophecy!

Come onnnnnnnnn you didn't used to be so difficulttttttttt. I’m so hungry dude like you don't even know, and all I got up here is like a half empty box of golden grahams.

Sorry sorry! I guess I should have found time to go to the store in my downtime from keeping an army of relentless demons from eating your soul.

*Sigh\*

Ok look, keep the receipt and I’ll reimburse you. And get something for yourself too. And some crab rangoons.

Alright so get up and go.

Dont “Five more minutes" me! up!

C’mon!

*Peppy Chanting\*

Chosen One! Chosen One!

[Listener falls out of bed]

[Time passes, Listener brings the takeout to the speaker who answers the door in a snuggie]

*Knock\*

At last you have arrived, oh champion mine.

The hour grows late and my hunger burns. Have you delivered what I have asked of you? Or shall I shrivel into dust and watch powerlessly as the light of the valley is snuffed out?

Ah yes thank you, Chosen One. The people of the valley may rest easy tonight, all because of you. You may go now.

[Listener insists they be reimbursed, speaker was trying to get out of that and they giggle nervously]

Oh yes, the receipt. Let me reimburse you, because obviously the honor of assisting me in the defense of the valley is not enough for the great and mighty Chosen One.

Let me see it.

What the crap!? You tipped 45%!

Well yes that is what a hero of goodness ‘n light would do, but did you consider my pocketbook?

[Listener gets snippy and Speaker grumbles]

“Consider it a delivery fee” friggin smartass.

Alright here, take the cash and your soup and go. Thanks for coming.

[Speaker tries to shut the door but the Listener puts their foot in it]

Hey, why won't you let me shut the door?

I don't care if your soup will be cold when you get home. I cannot let you into my sacred sanctum of sanctuary! I cannot allow you to observe my arcane rituals!

No I am not sitting around watching trash tv in my snuggie!

I am observing the forces of immortal darkness in the armor of unending light!

[Listener forces themselves in]

Oh sure just let yourself in, that's cool, that's fine whatever.

*Sigh\*

It's not much. Just an office and a balcony that overlooks the valley of shadows.

Here, let's go out there, you can sit on one of my deck chairs.

Kind of pretty isn't it? The valley of Eternal Darkness?

No you wouldn't be able to see the army of Evil Shadow Demons tonight. It's league night and they're all out bowling.

Hey no there's totally usually demons out there! See that's one right there!

(They point at a raccoon)

Yes, that may look like a harmless raccoon, but it's truly Goblaglion! Stepbrother of Darkeness! He eats babies for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Begone Goblaglon! You have no power here!

[Raccoon runs away]

Whew! Good thing I was here huh? He’d totally have eaten you!

You're not a baby? *mumbling\* coulda fooled me

What? Nothing!

You gonna eat that soup or just give me that snippy look?

What do you mean I have the wrong bowl? This one has shrimp the other one doesn't.

You did not just tell me you got yourself extra protein but not me! You didn't!

Oh my god. Oh my god. I literally cannot even right now.

Fine! Here!

When did you start being so difficult! You used to be so good at this Chosen One stuff.

Ok. I will repeat again that that time I had you move a couch wasn't a quest.

I did not make all this prophecy stuff up so I could get you to do my errands! What blasphemy!

I should curse you!

Well I guess I can't curse you, but I could bless you in a very annoying way! Like making all curry taste like cotton candy!

[listener asks when the last time the demons attacked was]

The last time the legion of immortal darkness actually attacked the valley?

Oh uhhhhhh

*Nervous laughter\*

Don't gimme dat look. That accusatory look! Im offended you would think I made all this up!

*Sigh\*

Ok I’ll level with you. Two hundred years ago the legion of immortal darkness ran into a couple missionaries and converted to congregationalism.

And like I guess it chilled them out or something because they stopped attacking. But like tradition y'know? They didn't want to just stop threatening the valley. They'd been doing it for ten thousand years.

So every now and then they send some guy in spiky armor up here and I get all my wargear on and we do a whole show and pose for a heavy metal album cover, just to keep the tradition alive.

Don't tell anybody!

I mean I got a sweet gig here! I stare over the valley, give speeches about heroism and do a little stunt show every once and a while. I don't wanna go back down there! I'd have to like become a dental hygienist or a mechanic or something.

C’monnnnn you know you secretly like hanging out with me! Don't deny it!

Ok from now on I’ll only invade your dreams when it's super duper important alright! Like life or death! Pinkie Promise! Does that sound fair oh Chosen One?

Ummmmm and I’ll pay you! Hourly plus expenses whenever there's a quest! I’ll just start like endorsing products or something to make a little more cash, I mean I am the guardian of the valley, I’m sure I could get a sponsorship deal. We'll be "the legion of unending light- brought to you by your local Chrysler dealer!"

Sound fair?

Rad!

Yes I just said rad, don't comment.

Let's shake on it.

[They shake hands]

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership

-30-