Context: You and your boyfriend are partners in crime, wreaking havoc in the city streets and working towards your vision together. One day, while going to inform your boyfriend of some news, you walk in on him practicing for the inevitable defeat of the heroes…

Words: 1091

Monetization: It’s perfectly ok to monetize and record any of my scripts, you can change pronouns and names around too! Just please remember to credit me prominently! However, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PAYWALL MY SCRIPTS!

Notes: Beginner script!

A/N: I really like writing monologues. People should write monologues more.

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[muffled]

“AHAHAHAHAHA! Do you see, you pitiful heroes?! Your efforts are useless! No matter how hard you struggle and cry… your defeat is inevitable!”

“When will you realize that your futile attempts to stop me will only lead to more destruction?! Look around you! Streets cracked underfoot, cars bursting into flames, whole buildings brought to ruin!”

[you open the door]

[his voice becomes clear]

“What you heroes fail to realize is that you contribute to destruction more than we villains do! Who do we villains target? The big, the strong, the ones who flaunt their wealth and power with no regard for the consequences! But you heroes… you claim to protect the strong, but–”

[pause]

(abrupt shift in tone) “Wait no that’s not right. Where did I put my script?”

“Uhh… I think it’s–”

[he turns around]

“GAH!”

[pause]

“H-Honey… how long have you been standing there?”

[pause]

“Stop laughing! I-It’s embarrassing…”

[pause]

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with practicing a triumphant monologue, okay?! I know those heroes have always defeated me in the past, but this time… this time I’ll win!”

[pause]

“I know you would have helped me practice but… it can get embarrassing, okay…? I want you to think I’m cool, and it doesn’t look cool if I stutter during my monologue!”

“So…”

[plushie squeak]

“These lil guys have been serving as the defeated heroes for now. Look! I even made Mr. Duckie here a Triton mask, hehe!”

[pause]

“Of course I’m gonna be able to take them down this time!”

“You saw the plans, right?! Look at how cool this thing is!”

[he grabs a gun-like contraption]

[sounds of a machine charging up]

“With a single zap, it’ll take away the powers of any superhero and store it in this container here! I’ve already tested it many times… without their powers, heroes are basically useless! AHAHAHAHA!”

[pause]

“Heh, do you like it? I’ve been practicing my villain laugh!”

“But anyway!”

“Now even The Elements can’t stop me! That annoying thorn in my side of a hero team… especially Triton! I still remember how you got swept up in that tidal wave he created, you know. I’ll avenge the outfit you were wearing that day!!”

[pause]

“Huh? You have a report for me about the Elements team?”

[he sets down the contraption]

“What is it? Did they find this place? Get to the Ancient Relic I was planning to steal before I did?”

“Oh– wait, please don’t be nervous, darling. You know that I won’t be mad at you for being the bearer of bad news!”

[pause]

“Huh?! Their base was destroyed?!”

“By whom?! Was it another villain…? Where are they now? Do you know?”

[pause]

“All of their statuses are confirmed except for Triton?”

“ARGH! CURSES!”

[he groans]

“If Triton’s missing, then I’ll have to put off my plan… I mean, I also wanted to get back at Cinders for burning your villain outfit, but I mostly wanted to defeat Triton. Oh well…”

“Still… why is Triton the only one missing? From your report, it seems like the base was bombed when he was the only one there. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to cause that kind of carnage while all of them were there? An explosion of that size might have been enough to take them all out at once.”

“But then again, if they survive, that’ll be quite the problem.”

“Maybe the other villain behind the bombing was only after Triton?”

“Ugh… what a pain.”

“So! Anything else to report?”

[pause]

“Come closer? Hm, okay.”

[he leans in]

“What is– mmph!”

[you kiss him]

“H-Hey! Unfair!”

“You c-can’t just kiss me out of the blue like that! It… it damages my image…!”

[pause]

“I– T-Typhon the Destroyer doesn’t blush! Typhon is strong! A-And terrifying!”

“... And too in love with you to protest…”

[pause]

“No… you’re more important than my image will ever be…”

[he gives you a kiss]

“What would I do without you, hm…?”

“My biggest fan and most loyal partner…”

“You know… I still get worried when you join me in the field. I’d prefer it if you stayed safe in the background, safe and sound… but you and I are very alike.”

“It just seems like neither of us can let each other get into danger, hm?”

[pause]

“Hahaha! No, you’re never gonna go fight without me by your side. And I hope you’ll always be by my side as well.”

[pause]

“Ah, right! My monologue!”

[papers rustling]

“This script went through a ton of revisions, you know! It was peer reviewed on the villain network and everything! Come to think of it, maybe I could comb through the villain network later and see if anyone claimed the attack on The Elements base…”

“But! Back to the monologue!”

[pause]

“Oh, but I don’t think you should be in the audience… when I say all this, you’ll be standing triumphantly at my side, after all!”

“So… why don’t you stand by my side? Come ooon, put on that intimidating villain persona that always manages to give me chills!”

[pause]

“Yes! There we go! Okay, let me get into mine… *clears throat*”

[pause]

[deep breath]

“AHAHAHAHAHA! Do you see, you pitiful heroes?! Your efforts are useless! No matter how hard you struggle and cry… your defeat is inevitable!”

“When will you realize that your futile attempts to stop me will only lead to more destruction?! Look around you! Streets cracked underfoot, cars bursting into flames, whole buildings brought to ruin!”

“What you heroes fail to realize is that you contribute to destruction more than we villains do! Who do we villains target? The big, the strong, the ones who flaunt their wealth and power with no regard for the consequences! But you heroes… you claim to protect the weak, but your actions do far more harm than good!”

“Hypocrites, the whole lot of you! … This imperfect system that has raised you to new heights but has beaten the less fortunate into the ground… I’ll–”

“- We’ll burn it all to the ground! And build it up again in a new, perfect world!”

“Watch, pathetic heroes… watch as the corrupt system you so desperately defend is DISMANTLED BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

[heavy breathing]

(abrupt tone shift) “How’s that? Was it good?”

[pause]

“Yes! Oh I can’t wait to defeat those annoyances once and for all!”

“... Thank you for helping me, darling. I loved the way your evil laugh sounded!”

[pause]

“Sure! Let’s run through it a few more times and then go to dinner!”

~END~

Thanks for reading!