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[M4A] Cocky Thief Flirts with You [Thief Listener] [Thief Speaker] [Flirty Speaker] [Banter] [TW: Violence] [TW: Implied Murder and Torture]
Author Summary
NyanToDaMax145 is a male looking for anyone in Banter
Post Body

Context: You’re one of the many thieves stalking the streets of the Kingdom, earning a living by stealing whenever you can, and being commissioned to steal. Unfortunately for you, you have a rival; the thief known as the Magpie who just keeps stealing your thunder!

Words: 1673

Monetization: It’s perfectly ok to monetize and record any of my scripts, you can change pronouns and names around too! Just please remember to credit me prominently! However, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PAYWALL MY SCRIPTS!

Notes: High difficulty script!

A/N: No I didn’t just watch Puss In Boots the Last Wish what are you talking about

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[bustling city streets]

[crashing sound: a merchant stall collapses, chaos ensues] (If you add a distant “MY CABBAGES” here you have my respect–)

[the Magpie leaps over your head]

“Oop! Sorry dear, I’d love to chat but I have to go!” (voice fades out)

[you give chase]

(VA Note: Most dialogue should sound out of breath throughout this section)

(fading back in) “Or, you can give chase. You feel like coming along, I see!”

[the two of you leap over stalls and continue the chase]

“Goodness, my darling friend. Surely a pretty face like yourself shouldn’t be forced to chase this petty criminal through these dirty streets? You might dirty your visage.”

[you kick a wooden board at him that he barely dodges]

“Whoa! Trying to trip me up so that I get caught? …Whatever happened to honor among thieves, hm?”

[pause]

“Ha! Still angry about me messing up your heist that one time? You got out of that mess I caused just fine, didn’t you?”

[you toss another object at him]

“Hey!”

[he slices it apart with his dagger]

“Surely you know better than to throw things at me that can be cut? I’m quite handy with this dagger, you know!”

“Maybe it would have been better if you’d stayed out of this, because now the guards think that you were in on this!”

[you leap across and tackle him]

“What– ugh!”

[the two of you crash through a window]

[heavy breathing for a few seconds]

“Wow… you really just tackled me through a window, huh…?”

“Oh, fine! If you’re so insistent on coming along, then–!”

[he grabs your hand]

“Come on, old friend! We’d better fly before the guards get here!”

[running, heavy breaths, shouting from the guards fades out]

[footsteps slow]

“Haa… haa… phew… I think we’re safe now!”

[he pats some dust off his clothes]

(out of breath acting segment dies down now)

“Well now, I suppose your plan to get me caught by the guards didn’t work, eh, old friend?”

[you punch him]

“UGH!”

[he stumbles]

“Ow… Okay, that… that was just unfair.”

[pause]

“Ha! Feel better after that, huh?”

“Well, if you need to vent your frustrations, I don’t mind being your punching bag. Who knows, I might start to like it!”

[pause]

“I was just joking! Please wipe that scary look off your face. You look much better when you smile!”

[pause]

“Oh well, disdain is a fine expression on you as well.”

[pause]

“I know you could have escaped from any prison those incompetent fools could have put you into, but you can’t deny that it would have been most inconvenient. We both have our wanted posters up all over the kingdom, you know.”

“Well, I do. Your wanted poster doesn’t even have an illustration attached!”

[pause]

“Frankly, the fact that no one but me has managed to get a good look at you is quite an honor!”

“If there’s any thief worthy of the nickname of ‘The Ghost’, it’s most certainly you.”

“But… hmm, the fact that you’ve allowed me to look at what’s under that trademark hood and mask of yours must mean that you think highly of me! Or perhaps…”

[he leans in to whisper in your ear]

“You… like me?”

[you throw another punch]

[he catches it]

“Ha! Not falling for another punch!”

“But look! We’re essentially holding hands now, hm? If you wanted to hold hands with me, you could have just asked!”

[pause]

“Alright, alright.”

[he lets go]

[pause]

“What did I steal this time that had the entire city’s guards after me? Well… something that puts all your previous heists to shame!”

[pause]

“Oh my dear ghost, I don’t lie. Not to my fellow thieves.”

[pause]

“Since we’ve run into each other… shall we visit the Thieves Retreat together? I’ll buy you a drink.”

[pause]

“Ha! Of course. Ever since you made off with the precious wines of the Duke of Atlas, your taste for the old alcohol of the Thieves Retreat must have waned!”

[pause]

“You’ll never accept a drink from me? I seem to recall us having many nights drinking together while swapping stories!”

“I quite miss your company on those cold, lonely nights. You make my time in this world just that little bit brighter, you know?”

[pause]

“Oh? I was under the impression that you liked my flirting. I may not be able to see much beneath that mask and hood, but I can hear the embarrassment in your lovely voice.”

“... Makes me want to tease you more.”

[pause]

“Hm, fine! Then I suppose you don’t want to hear about what I stole for my client?”

[pause]

“Shockingly enough, this wasn’t something I stole for the glory of it. I just stole it for someone who was willing to pay a pretty penny for it!”

[he starts walking]

“So! You coming or not?”

[long pause]

[you start walking and catch up to him]

“Ha! I knew you couldn’t resist me!”

[you punch him]

“Ow! Ahahaha, okay! Calm down, calm down.”

“Save your violence for when we spar.”

[the two of you walk off]

[timeskip]

[echoey, splashing footsteps, dripping water, squeaking rats]

“After traveling through the city sewers so often, this stench becomes a lot more tolerable, doesn’t it?”

[pause]

“Hm, you’re right. The rats are still a problem.”

“But we’re thieves, you and I. We know how to deal with a few rats… literally… and metaphorically.”

[pause]

“Mmm, I cherish that memory dearly. Seeing you tear that traitor to the Thieves Retreat apart was exhilarating.”

[pause]

“Deaaaar, I don’t mean it in that way! I’m just saying that I so rarely get to see you truly… let loose. It reminds me that you’re dangerous… and you know how much I like danger.”

[pause]

“Hey, being a part of the Thieves Retreat gives me all the thrill I need and more. Nick a few shinies here and there, take an under-the-table commission from now and then… I get to take my pick from all the adventures handed to me. It’s a privilege for someone like me.”

“Speaking of commissions…”

[he shakes a sack. Something metal jingles inside]

“... The thing I stole.”

[pause]

“I know I said I’d tell you over a drink, but well, you don’t seem eager to accept a drink from me!”

“And no matter how eager I am to hear about your escapades…”

[he lets out an exaggerated sigh]

“... I suppose I’ve been stonewalled by the Ghost themself. What a shame…”

[pause]

“Hm? Willing to accept something else in exchange for your stories, eh? Now what might that be?”

[pause]

“So, you’ll tell me once we get there?”

“Aren’t you a cheeky one? If I know you, and I like to think that no one else knows you better, you’ll coax me into buying you a drink anyways.”

[footsteps stop]

[three knocks on a metal door]

“... Black cat.”

[door screeches open]

[quiet tavern ambience]

“Well now, here we are.”

“I’m not due to deliver this for a few more hours, so…”

[wooden chair screeches against stone floor]

[he sits]

“This area is quiet enough.”

“But first…”

“Hey, barkeep! Two glasses of your finest, eh? Just got back from quite the heist and I’d love to unwind!”

[you sit down too]

“Oh, save it. You were going to convince me effortlessly, so might as well just buy you a pint now.”

[pause]

“Even if you didn’t, you’re simply too lovely to force you to go without a drink! Consider it… a favor, if that makes you feel better.”

“Now then!”

[he drops the sack on the table]

(quietly)

“Take a peek.”

[quiet magic tones]

“Ahhh, that look of wonder and shock on your face. Priceless.”

[pause]

“Shhh! The Ring of the Draconic Prince and the Ring of the Blazing Phoenix are not something one should speak of so freely, even in a place like this.”

[he pulls the sack shut]

“So if you’re wondering what I stole… these little things almost cost me my arm.”

[pause]

“Oh it’s quite the thrilling tale indeed…”

[two glasses of beer are placed on your table]

“Ah, thank you Izzy!”

[he flips a coin at the barmaid]

“Tell Marge that I’ll pay my tab today, and that she can smack me over the head with that rolling pin of hers if I don’t.”

[pause]

“Of course I’m paying off my tab today. My commissioner paid quite a hefty sum for these, you know.”

“Now then!”

[he picks up a glass and drinks some of it]

“Aaah, that’s the good stuff!”

“Come on now, my darling ghost. Even if your taste for alcohol has been sullied by all that fine wine you’ve been drinking, it would be rude to not accept it after I’ve so generously paid for it!”

[you have a drink as well]

“Ah, I knew you’d come around!”

“So! What did you want for one of your stories?”

[pause]

“Hahaha! An intriguing idea!”

“A story for a story… now that there is a proposal that fits you!”

“I think that’s quite a fine idea! Let’s shake on it!”

[you shake hands]

“And now I’ve got your hand.”

[pause]

“Well, a handshake isn’t enough! You know me a little too well… you know I crave the stories just as much as I crave excitement. And you in particular, my dear, have the best stories.”

“So…”

[he kisses the back of your hand]

“A kiss to your hand. A piece of my heart, so that you choose a truly incredible story to tell me.”

[pause]

“Hmm, if I could see under that hood and mask of yours right now, I’d say that you were blushing.”

[pause]

“Are too.”

[pause]

“You are.”

[pause]

“The more you deny it, the more I’m convinced that you have the most adorable expression under there.”

“But anyways… a deal is a deal.”

[he leans forward]

(softly) “Tell me a story, my darling ghost. Make it a truly amazing one. And I’ll tell you an amazing story in return.”

“Just like old times.”

~END~

Thanks for reading!

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