Part 2

Context: You're being stalked. You've ducked into a dive bar to seek help and find an intimidating man nursing a martini. You just hope he can help.

Setting: A dive bar/the city/your apartment

Tags:[M4A][Strangers to Lovers?][Intimidating Delinquent Speaker][Scared Listener][Stalker][Comfort][Protective][Flirting][Clicking]['Soulmates'][Pretend Relationship][Staying Over][Intimidating]to[Wholesome/Sweet][CW: Mentions of Stalking/Violence]

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***

[Scene opens in a bar]

[SFX: General dive bar ambiance]

[You hurry through the crowd at the bar toward a tall, darkly-dressed man. The man pauses as you approach him and greet him warmly]

“Um, hey…? Can I help you?”

[Pause!]

[His eyebrows raise slightly but he remains unreadable]

“Baby, huh? Hmm… that’s a cute nickname for me. What was it yesterday? Adonis? Casanova? Winner of all the Sexy Times?”

[You stare at him in disbelief and he winks at you]

“Hmm? Oh, you want me to lean down so you can tell me off all soft? Of course! Anything for you, dearest love!”

[He leans down, inches from your lips. His eyes are half-lidded but intense]

“Hey…”

[P-Pause?]

“Is that guy staring daggers at me right now bothering you…?”

[Pause]

“Do you know him?”

[Pause]

“Alright… Don’t worry, sweetheart. I got you… You need a ride home or someone to walk with you?”

[Pause]

“Walked here, sure. Me too. Alright, go on, take my arm.”

[You do so, desperately avoiding your stalker’s gaze]

“There you go. C’mon.”

[SFX: Footsteps and bar music fading to a chill city ambiance]

[You head out of the club while your stalker stares daggers into the stranger’s back]

“You doing OK, sweetheart?”

[...]

“Nah, I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t. Situations like that are terrifying. You did the right thing, though. Running to someone else or the bartender to throw them off is a good, solid tactic. I’ve taught it for years.”

[Pause?]

“What do I do for a living? Eheh, you’re not going to believe it. I see you eyeing up the leather pants and big old biker boots. And is that, ah, a bit of intrigue at my unkempt, shaggy mane? Or is it because I fucked up my eyeliner a little? If so, feel free to laugh.”

[Pause!]

[He laughs]

“Fine, fine. I’m a safety instructor. I teach self-defense techniques and just generally try to confuse old folks. How you may ask? By dressing as goth as possible and then doing things like coaching soccer, refurbishing houses, and, the best one, making THE best Summer cookout brisket.”

[Pause?]

“Heh, yeah. My profession is why I realized what you needed so quickly.”

[<3 Pause]

“Ah, no need to be that grateful, sweetheart. I’m getting to pretend to be your boyfriend for however long this walk lasts.”

[~<3~]

[He gives you a lopsided half-smile]

“Oh, you think I’m smooth, huh? Well, I suppose, statistically, at least one person has to.”

[Pause!]

[He chuckles as you two walk through the city]

“So, how’s about you? What’d you occupy your days with?”

[SFX: Them walking for a bit]

“Ooh, someone likes challenging work too, eh? Hehe. I respect it. There’s something about having to fight a little bit every day, right? I try not to admit that, sometimes, I sort of hope some of these people will pick a fight with me so I can play the hero. Just a little… kind of pathetic, huh?”

[Pause]

“Nah, I don’t really care about how I look… I just want to remind them that they can, in fact, be laid out if they want to fuck around and find out. Once had a lady that was, for lack of a more polite term, batshit insane. She wanted to get at her ex-boyfriend more than a swarm of locusts wants to get at some tasty cornstalks. I mean, she was swinging a nail file! Stabbed me right in the fucking hip!”

[Pause!!]

[He laughs]

“Oh, it definitely hurt! Totally worth it, though. Towering over her and looking unimpressed apparently knocked some sense into her. Never want to punch a lady. Or, anyone, really, but I had to crack my knuckles and do a little bit of mean-mugging. “Ma’am, you need to leave this donut chain and get psychiatric help”, basically. Dunno if she got that help… sure hope so. That poor man was terrified!”

[Pause!]

[Again, he laughs]

“Yeah, no kidding… I’m probably going to just straight up get shot one of these days. Or stabbed in the kidney. A lot of people out there decide that anyone in their way is just coffin fodder. Still, I don’t think I could walk away… Being in a crisis like that, you need someone willing to step in. Otherwise, it’s easy to panic and give them control. People like that… yeah…”

[SFX: Them walking in quiet for a bit/city ambiance]

“So… how long was that guy following you?”

[Pause…]

“Eugh, gross… You should probably file a police report. Assholes tend to not take stalking seriously, though… but at least you’ll have it on file. Should put up some security cameras as well if you can spring for them.”

[Pause]

[He shoots you a confident, relaxed smile]

“Or I could sleep over, true… Mmh, you are a bold one, you know that? I don’t get a lot of ladies brave enough to just flirt with me. Or guys. Hell, sometimes the guys are a thousand times more nervous.”

[Pause]

“Hehe, have a soft spot for the big, protective sort, huh? Hell, why not! Hi, I’m Miguel, nice to meet you. So, you want a summer wedding or a fall one?”

[Pause?]

[He grins at you as you wait for the crosswalk]

“Oh, please, you are SO an Autumn wedding sort. But, whatever wifey wants, wifey shall receive.”

[Pause?]

“Sure, we can get a dog, so long as it’s from a shelter and not a puppy mill.”

[Pause?]

“And a cat companion, of course. Where do you want to honeymoon?”

[Pause]

“Ah, good choice! You have great taste, my insanely hot fiance. Hey, can I wear a steampunk tuxedo?”

[Pause!]

“Hell yeah, you can wear a funeral dress! Mini-taco bar?”

[Pause!]

“Oh yeah, from Miguel’s, obviously. So, what’s our special song?”

[Pause]

[He blinks, seemingly taken aback]

“That’s… my favorite song…”

[...]

“I mean… I’m sure it’s a coincidence. It’s a really popular song. From a band with eight followers on social media… and who plays in local bars…”

[He perks an eyebrow at you, a bit sarcastic]

“Before you ask, no, I’m not also stalking you, and I’m pretty sure you’re not stalking me. Can you imagine? It’d be like that pointing meme, hehe.”

[Pause]

“Oh no, and you’re a memelord too? Geeze… Did we just become soulmates or some nonsense?”

[Pause?]

“Hey, I already proposed! What, do you just want to ask me out?”

[Pause]

[He laughs]

“Yes, huh? Alright, alright, I’m game! You’re a little spitfire, huh? That guy got lucky that you were on the smarter, less violent side. I bet you could have laid his ass out, eh?”

[...]

[His smile fades and he becomes quiet]

“He had a knife…”

[...]

“...OK. Yeah. I’ll hang out tonight if you feel safe having some buff stranger in your house, anyway?”

[Pause]

[He cracks up and shakes his head]

“Dammmn! You mind less cause I’m hot? You mean to tell me you would’ve let that guy shiv you if he were hotter?”

[<3 Pause <3]

“Hehe… Goodness, you are a wild one. Do me a favor though, OK? Make sure you let some friends or family know I’m here. Take a picture of me if you feel it’d help. I want to make sure people know I’m here and that I’m not going to do anything to hurt you. That and I’ll act as a witness when you file the report, alright?”

[Pause]

“Hey, I am, if anything, not a creep. Oh, this your building?”

[Pause]

“Alright, c’mon.”

[SFX: The two of them walking into an apartment building and using the elevator]

“Huh… This place is only moderately run-down. Very nice, my friend!”

[Pause]

[SFX: The front door being unlocked and the two of them shuffling in]

“Nice place… Oops, is that a black void staring at me or a particularly fat black cat? Heeey buddy. Heeey, pretty thing, pspspsps!”

[Pause]

“Oh, he’s a grumpy biter, huh? Seems friendly to me.”

[You look on in disbelief as your grumpy old fart of a cat comes right on over and rubs up against his leg]

[Pause!]

“Don’t take it personally. I volunteer with animals sometimes and I think I have an aura around me that draws them in. Isn’t that right, buddy? Yes, give me that muffin-head. Ohh, you have a widdle muffin-head, you do!” Yes, you do!”

[SFX: Purring]

[...]

“Hehe, all cats have a little bit of asshole to their personality, don’t worry. Right, it’s one in the morning. I’ll hang out on the couch and then go down with you to the station to file a report. You got a spare blanket?”

[Pause]

[SFX: A blanket shuffling]

“Thank you, my new friend. I’ll try not to snore too loudly.”

[,,,?]

[He pauses, studying you]

“Do I think it’s weird that we’re acting this close after just meeting? Mmh… Nah, not really. I don’t know why but… I feel comfortable around you.”

[Pause]

“Same, huh? Well…”

[He smiles. It’s a bit bashful this time]

“Good. Go get some rest, Spitfire. I’ll see you in the, um, later morning.”

[SFX: The Listener going to bed]

[...Well…. This is weird. You kind of want to ask him if you really did just become soulmates, but… you’re kind of scared his answer will simply be, “Yep”.]

[To be continued???]

Note: NO, HELP, I LOVE HIM-