Alright, buckle up. This is going to be long and I apologize in advance. So, hi! I’m 29 F and have had Arfid my entire life, previously being diagnosed with EDNOS before arfid really became a thing. My food issues center around extreme pickiness, texture issues, lack of appetite, and just disinterest in eating in general. This has been a lifelong struggle for me. I grew up always being pretty underweight. Not enough so that it was ever addressed medically, but enough that every single person I met told me I needed to eat a cheeseburger (seriously I hate when people say things like this). I was always anemic, always tired, and just generally not doing well physically. Fast forward, I ended up being on a medication for about 7 years that GREATLY stimulated my appetite. I got up to a normal weight and everything was good. Over time though my labs got concerning (in regards to blood sugar) and my doctor took me off of the med just to be safe. Since going off the med, my arfid has been getting a lot worse. At first it wasn’t a huge deal but now I’m losing safe foods left and right. NOTHING sounds good. In the last month alone I’ve dropped 14 lbs. I can count on both my hands how many “meals” I’ve had in that time (using meal here very loosely lol). Here’s where things get extra weird. I’ve developed this weird dry heave/gag, it’s happening mostly when I try to eat. As soon as the food is in front of me it’s like my body freaks out and panics. I have also been experiencing issues swallowing my food, once I chew it I become absolutely repulsed and have to spit it out immediately to avoid puking. I’ve been trying to drink something when I eat to help me swallow but it’s honestly barely helping at this point. So here I am, it’s been almost a month of this extreme episode. I’ve skipped SO many meals. I’m still able to go to work/take care of responsibilities but my ability is definitely dwindling. I spend all my free time laying down because standing for too long makes me extremely dizzy. My cognitive function is also getting bad, it’s taking me a super long time to reply to things and articulate my thoughts in a cohesive way. Last night pushed me over the edge. After eating some fries way earlier (that’s it, that’s all I had lol) I began to feel extremely sick last night. I started heaving in bed and ran to the bathroom where I threw up bile with some small red streaks. I woke up this morning and called my primary care doctor and made an appt, but I just feel so totally lost. Can this even be fixed? I genuinely don’t know how they can help me. I do NOT want to be admitted, that’s my biggest fear. I spent time in the hospital as a kid and it’s very scary for me to think of being forced to stay there again. Idk, is there outpatient treatment for this? Are they going to force me inpatient? This is so frustrating and so anxiety inducing. Has anyone gone down this path as an adult? I’m hoping to be taken more seriously because I’m older now but I guess the trauma from medical gaslighting never really goes away, lol. Advice, tips, and any words of encouragement are welcome. I’ve never felt so alone. Everyone I explain this to apart from my parents (who have watched me deal with this my whole life to various degrees) just thinks I’m crazy, I’ve completely stopped sharing with people because I can’t deal with feeling like such an anomaly anymore lol. Thanks for reading, I hope this finds YOU well! And I hope 2025 brings great things for you :)