My 13yo son was just diagnosed with ARFID. He's always been a picky eater but over the last 2-3 three years the foods he will willing eat has constantly shrunk til we're now left with basically meat, fish and chips. He has ADHD and a lot of the issue with food seems to be about texture and the sensory experience of eating. My concern is that he is just not getting enough calories of nutrients. He just eats very, very little. He's incredibly thin — at 13 he's actually losing weight and is now below the zeroth percentile for his age. His paediatrician says he's basically suffering malnutrition and to gain weight he should ideally be eating 2000 calories a day but quite often he'd be lucky to hit 600 (If I count his calories I do it without his knowledge). We've tried chocolate flavoured meal replacement shakes but he'll literally take one sip and say he's full and he'll vomit if he has any more. There are foods he likes, but trying to get him to eat a reasonable amount of those is impossible.

I'm really at a loss what to do. Obviously cajoling doesn't work. He hates being so thin — he's at an age where all of his friends are hitting puberty and shooting up, but that also isn't sufficient motivation. If things don't improve, realistically he will end up in hospital.

Doctors and dieticians tell us we need to get him to 'eat more', which is infuriatingly unhelpful advice. Wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and found anything that works. Feeling completely lost.