Hi everyone, I would like to share a story that I experienced many many years ago when I was in my teens.

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I was traveling back home to SEAsia from Hong Kong where we were on a family vacation trip. Since its a shorter distance flight, the plane was smaller and the 3-aside seats closer to each other (think Boeing 737 for those aerospace enthusiast). This Asian father and young daughter pair sat across from my family, and while the father was a very typical East Asian person, his daughter was rather unique. She had the same typical East Asian features as her dad but had ashy, almost platinum blonde hair. You would have mistaken her for an albino if you didn't look close enough. Now, I usually don't care about such things but sometimes you cannot help over hearing stuff people say.

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I speak English as a first language, Chinese as my mother tongue and a little German now as a third (but not at the time nor relevant to this story). However, since my Grandmother was originally from Guangdong and then Hong Kong, I grew up listening to Cantonese being spoken a lot, so while I don't speak it, I can kind of guess what is being said.

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And from what I could understand from the other passengers sitting around this father daughter pair, a lot of the older women were criticising the father, whispering that he's not taking care of his daughter well. Sort of like "Ohhh how could he let her dye her hair at such a young age?! Doesn't he know that bleaching your hair is bad?" and "Sigh, young men these days think too highly of Caucasians" probably thinking that the father forced this hair choice on the daughter.

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You probably guess what happens next, since I am posting on this subreddit: the Caucasian mother walks on the plane and joins the father daughter pair, exact same ashy platinum blonde hair. Hugs, kisses and smiles were exchanged between the three and you can probably imagine the embarrassed silence from the other criticising women. I even remember being slightly embarrassed as I recall agreeing with their logic.

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I learnt much later that genetics change over time, and its not unusual that hair changes shade as you age. Hell, even my dad had a full head of ash grey hair when he was 25 and he's full Asian and yet my hair is pretty much jet black with slight hints of brown and bronze now at 26.

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Moral of my long winded story, racism comes in many forms, so don't judge others too quickly. Some times it can be a simple uncontrollable reason like genetics. Other times, its upbringing and the culture that the person was exposed to when young. If you find something weird/quirky about your SO, try looking at things from his/her perspective. Do not be afraid to ask, regardless of how disrespectful you think the question is. Remember, its always better to ask and clarify than to make false assumptions. The internet has a wealth of information, you can always do some simple research before asking. Your SO won't be insulted if you have a genuine question. After all, they are human, just like you and I.