I totally get it, I'm aware of the subreddit and it started off the same for me. Obviously it's a delicious combo with porn.

One of my bedroom walls is a mirror. You know that mandy self love thing? I just take mandy, doll up, dance for myself and pleasure myself. All that mandy self love is healing 💖💖 I simply started preferring my mirror reflection. I make my own porn so to speak 😜

I expected a fun clubbing night but a terrible suicidal comedown in the following days. I thought it might trigger a depression relapse but whatever YOLO. Instead I had a fun night clubbing, I felt extremely horny and got wet by just dancing. The I had almost 10days of afterglow where my anxiety disappeared almost completely. ✨ My music taste has changed completely now. Went from metal to sexy club tunes 😂

Just early exposure to the Internet. Probably more common than you think.

Also smoking weed made it a bit worse. Insane horniness. 😁

It was very difficult to orgasm without porn. And I developed fetishes/kinks that I probably not enjoy in real life, just because of that perpetual escalation that comes with porn. You just need it to be more and more intense as you fall down the rabbit hole. I definitely understand that post nut clarity shame feeling 😂

It makes me extremely horny. I suspect I might go back because I started fucking with speed. But even then, I just prefer myself in the mirror. It's kind of a cheat solution. I'm beautiful and why would I prefer some fake shit on my screen when I a shower myself with love and fall in love with my body e en more while doing that? It's just a wholesome thing like that.

I was abused a little, nothing too horrid

For me, it's actually what really fuelled my porn addiction. I often got stuck in a smoke weed and watch porn loop all day. I could come 8 times and my clit would be sore but I just would go back to doing it.

I do, to cannabis. Not mandy.

Don't expect too much, just try not to have expectations. But there will be alot of self love, acceptance and self empathy.

Oh, my bad. In Europe speed has amphetamine it, not meth. Still pretty bad news, but not as bad as meth.

You're correct to advise this though, thank you kind stranger

I started preferring what I see in the mirror. The girl in the mirror is my fave pornstar now. I doll up, dance for myself and go to town on my holes for hours. It's wholesome and has boosted my confidence big time

Wtf Just one time? Lucky you. My social anxiety returns after the afterglow periods. Happy for you but jealous 💖

I do remember that first social anxiety free mandy night though... It was amazing just to know that feeling like this was possible. To talk to people without anxiety, you cannot forget that or remove from your experiences even after mandy wears away. I guess that could rewire your brain enough to have such an impressive result.

I have not heard this about MDMA, usually it's some LSD analogue that's a few molecules off, but is still LSD when broken down in your body.
In any case, my country has a lab that will test your stuff for free anonymously. I always test my drugs, and my MDMA has never turned out to be something else.

very very good point. you might not feel the high at all but the drug will still do it's thing in your body and could create a very dangerous situation.

Same if you're on certain anti-anxiety, like benzos. They will just work against each other and you won't feel the high.

On the other hand, this is what motivated me to get off my SSRI. I wanted to feel like what LSD felt like, so I tapered myself off. Looking back, psychedelics and MDMA brought more positive change to my life than the SSRIs I tried before.

Lab tested. If you read my other comments, you'd see it makes me insanely horny and at first I was using it to edge with porn for hours. Doesn't sound like mandy do you? ☺️

Mdma is exactly what made me open to new ways of life. I has made me more open to new experiences. I don't think I would have achieved such natural and quick results with any other method.

The way it happened was just pleasuring myself in front of the mirror. I now prefer the cute lovely little slut I see in the mirror over porn, it's as simple as that. Is kind of wholesome. Very self healing.

Yeah I've sometimes dreamed of having a partner who likes to so the same. What a disaster it would turn out to be in real life 😂

Maybe a little, at least I know I've been there . But not to porn at least, which is the point of the post.

I think you've misread something pal :)

Since about 12. So I've struggled with body image issues and I've compared myself to pornstars for a really long time.

I'm super worried about younger kids who got iPads shoved in their face when they were toddlers. Cause they will accidentally run into porn even earlier. If not, creeps out there be creepin' too. Some creeps are the reason I have certain fetishes now.

I did mention speed. In Europe, it's amphetamine a shitload a caffeine and god knows what else.

yeah I can't cum while on MDMA and even the whole day after. My partner can get erect but he really has to pound mercilessly to be able to cum at all, and it does take a while.
But with that horniness, it's hard not to get a boner, right? I wonder if emptying your balls a few times before the MDMA trip could help?

I'd definitely disagree on that but I really really do appreciate your concern. Because it's a slippery slope and I understand the best thing to do would be to never do it again.

Thank you, you're giving kind advice and it's good to be aware of dangers of drugs and other addictions.

However, I don't see how I possibly could not like watching myself in the mirror so much that I prefer it to porn 😜 it's a self love and acceptance thing.

Kind of similar here. It's been very very healing. Would love to hear more. We're spreading the word! But I'm looking for inspiration too 💖

Thank you for this insightful comment.

Unfortunately I know everyone is just as lost. Nobody really cares, everyone is worried about their own thing and you're just an NPC in their lives. The universe is so big and we will all die, none of this matters. I don't understand why knowing all this doesn't help me the same way it helped you 😞

But we all have our own journey and I thank you for the reminder to be kinder to myself. I've started doing it a little bit. Hugged myself this morning 😌😁

Did you take mandy just once or have you had more healing trips?

I did find it hard to wait 3months between mdma uses. And I have abused it lately with frequency and very high doses. I don't think I'm addicted, you just simply can't take it every day, it's kind of self regulating. I do struggle with moderation and it worries me.

I do have a proper addiction to cannabis though. fucking devils lettuce 😂😂

I'd say visit Amaterdam or google how to take proper precautions and order from a darknet. Order/buy mdma crystal and not xtc pills.

ALWAYS TEST YOUR MANDY. Western countries often have labs that will test anonymously for free. You can also buy your own reagent tests.

Yeah, I'm fully aware I'm a dopamine chaser. And yes, always had depressive tendencies

I'm not even sure. I guess it's just very stimulating?

I do like the less fake amateur porn more and lately I've really been into the sounds. Not like pornstar moaning but sounds of a very wet pussy or pulling out a butt plug, or my fave - guy just cumming without holding back

What doses are you taking?