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This began last week as an intense physical relationship which I am willing to tolerate. Within a week, he is flaunting his affair on a busy block downtown in a medium sized town where I casually ran into them without exactly trying. In addition to AMA, I could use any advice for my mental health.
Edit: all gay men
That’s pretty much what OPs husband did though lol
 it's like having your cake and eating it too with comfort and emotions and sex
Cake eating is the ultimate self delusion. Â There is always a sacrifice that comes with playing with fire.
I can fathom it, but your own point about marriage failure and divorce rates undermine your argument.
Poly is mono on hard mode. Â If most marriages fail and trending worse, that means most people are fundamentally incapable of making poly relationships work. Â And further, I imagine that opening a marriage generally hastens its demise for this exact reason - most lack the trust, communication and respect for their partners required.Â
You are illustrating the point of the person you’re arguing with - you are a relationship unicorn if you can actually have long term stable poly relationships with the same set of people.
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This is only true for the relationship anarchy types.  And there’s a whole pathology behind the people for whom that kind of life appeals toÂ