She’s definitely had some good sex (along with some bad sex). I’m not insecure about seeing her satisfied. It’s hard to say “enjoyed more” but different: she’s had bigger, been pounded harder, etc. I also don’t suffer from the delusion that of the eight billion people on the planet, I’m the only one who can please her. 😊

1. We couldn’t deny our connection and chemistry. Her intention was casual dating and we both kind of got lucky.

2. He’s laying between my feet as I type. The ex has since married and divorced again and is currently engaged to be married for a sixth time. 😆

We were at a bar, and this guy was trying hard not to stare. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her but, bless his heart, he was trying to be respectful. Just some unremarkable, normal-looking guy. As we were leaving the bar, we talked about the guy who was looking at her. She said she could’ve pulled him easily, so I handed her the keys and said, “You can have the car for 15 minutes. I’ll wait on the bench next to the car.” Needless to say, she texted me 45 seconds later and said they were coming out, she kicked him out exactly at the 15:00 mark, and he was absolutely blown away by the experience. I’m sure he still fantasizes about it to this day. It was the only time I wasn’t in the same room as her, although I was just a few feet away.

We only play in the same room. We’re both firm on that rule. Neither of us have interest in an open relationship or playing without the other present.

We were abnormally open right out of the gate. Our first conversation started with us oversharing to try repelling each other (dating apps will do funny things to you). Part of my oversharing included “I’ve been to swinger clubs and have watched my partner have sex with other men.” It sparked a lengthy discussion about the topic.

Not once. It’s strictly physical. No dating, no courtship, just sex.

We don’t exchange information. Consent resets with each encounter. One guy who she’d played with a few weeks earlier grabbed her breast in the swinger club without saying a word and while she was looking away, and I made him leave.

Congrats on the long, happy marriage! I respect your view and know our lifestyle isn’t for everyone. To answer your question, yes. I can see it in her eyes when I open the car door for her, get out of bed every workday two hours before I need to be awake to make her coffee, and otherwise carry myself as a gentleman and treat her as a lady.

My GF sent me this to add:

Hi I’m soybomb622’s GF. AMA. Kidding. Don’t. But I have a few things to share. He showed me the post after it started blowing up and thank you guys for helping me pass a boring afternoon at work! Some of your responses were ridiculous and some very interesting. Thanks for the ones who fought the trolls on our behalf. I especially enjoyed those of you who can’t conceive of our lifestyle but still recognize a happy healthy couple.

Here are some thoughts from my perspective:

1. Everyone knows there’s nothing hotter than a confident male. I have one and he’s amazing. Nothing we do is degrading or disrespectful to either of us. Some of you guys who commented obviously need to take notes from him on being confident and secure. I’ve never met a woman who said “My man is so insecure and jealous! He worries I’m going to run off with another man every time I go to the store. It’s so sexy!”

2. I have been in relationships where I struggled with jealousy. I too would have thought this was not for me while in a committed relationship. Unlike soybomb622, I was unsure at first. We started with him watching and helping to please me because I was afraid to see him with someone else. He was happy with that and never pressured or even asked me for more. But the honest communication has led to so much confidence in our relationship. I ended up asking him to try more. Spoiler: we both loved it.

3. Some of you asked what happened with the guy in the car and were suspicious. Plenty happened and I promise you soybomb622 got every little detail while we had sex. Yes, this one broke our rule and yes that’s dangerous. But the whole point of this is to have fun and we both did and no one got hurt.

4. To some sex is tied to emotions (love). We have intimate sex, wild sex, great sex. Sex with others isn’t the same. But it’s fun! And performing for each other and reliving together is hot.

5. The only comment that actually irritated me was the one saying I should stick up for myself and my guy shouldn’t have to play bouncer. That’s the one thing about our dynamic that bugs you? Just because we do what we do doesn’t mean I’m a whore. I’m his GF and he takes care of me and protects me. It’s what we’re comfortable with. Our friends/family all love how much of a gentleman he is and how he treats me. That doesn’t go away just because it’s playtime.

6. Those of you worried I’m going to leave him for someone we play with had me cracking up. I know I found my forever. But, if we imagine that we hypothetically won’t make it, it won’t be because I fell for a stranger. I have no interactions with any of them outside of sex. They’re basically a tool and they know it. It turns me on to perform for my man and it turns him on to see me enjoying myself. I’m not dating these guys. Sex means different things to different people. I don’t need a connection to get off with them.

7. Some of you would be surprised to know that we consider ourselves very loyal to each other and are disgusted by cheaters. We don’t play with anyone we even suspect is married. And we have very hard lines on what we consider cheating for ourselves that might seem like very tame behavior to others.

8. We keep count because it’s fun for us. We have shared access to a journal of sorts and, once we realized the number was going to be high, we decided to keep track.

9. Guys, this isn’t all we do. We have normal lives. We cuddle and watch shows, read, go on vanilla dates. We have an amazing life together. We just have a different hobby.

Thank you. “Radical honesty” — love it! That describes our communication style. After a full year together, we still don’t bicker or fight. We calmly state our thoughts and feelings, communicate our wants and needs, and have enough respect for one another to listen and act accordingly.

Although she is physically beautiful, our bond and so many things I love about her are part of what I see every time I look at her. I’ve never seen or been with a woman more beautiful to me.

Yes. Physical sex and intimate sex have never been the same to me. It was hot the first time and (save a few bad experiences where I’ve had to play bouncer) has been hot every time since.

Thank you. We both feel like we hit the jackpot.

We’ve had mostly good luck. We’re constantly communicating and enforcing our evolving boundaries (they never evolve in the moment, though). Example: choking is a hard no for her. This is stated clearly before any physical contact. Hands go around the neck, the encounter is done and the guy is kicked out immediately.

Swinger club, people (men and woman) trying to touch without permission. They don’t get a warm response.

She’s not a size queen. Most of the guys over 7.5” haven’t had much success staying hard, so they’d probably be disqualified.

5’6” and 130 pounds, thin/athletic, natural 34DDD (not a typo—they get a lot of attention at the swingers club), blue eyes and dirty blond hair.

We’ve had four online hook-ups and one in the wild. The rest have been at a swinger resort. Sometimes it’s more than one in a visit. Two weekends ago, we played with three couples in one night. It’s not a “This is how we spend every Saturday” thing for us.

You sound unhappy. I hope that changes for you.

As I matured (later than I’d like to admit), I started to realize my ego was a shield for my insecurities. As I shed my ego, I found levels of confidence and self-awareness I never knew existed. Sure, some other guy might make her climax (although most don’t), but I’m confident she doesn’t crave them afterwards the way she craves me, and I know it’s just us having physical fun.

One guy started talking disrespectfully towards me a couple months into it. Some dudes are into that. I’m not. He was immediately kicked out of the room.

We get front seats to watching each other star in live-action porns and then talk about it afterwards while we have sex. We both know it’s strictly a physical thing. It’s not for everyone, but we enjoy it.

Shortest was less than a minute, longest was maybe 20 minutes. She likes to be on top, and most guys don’t last long.

There was no emotional reaction. It’s usually hot, sometimes less hot than others. My internal monologue was typical of any red-blooded American: - this is hot - my foot itches - oh shit, she’s getting on top - can’t decide if I want nuggets, a burger, or both after this - lol his toes are curling - I can’t wait to take her home and fuck her after we shower - God bless McDonald’s for staying open late

Our key is boundaries don’t change in the moment. They are discussed beforehand.

Two Saturdays ago, I fucked three beautiful women (including my GF) and was sucked to completion by another one. Unless we’re defining cuck as “Guy who has a sore back from all the fucking” then I think you missed the mark.

We don’t kiss others. It’s just sex.

Stating a fact. I prefer she did if she’s going to put in the effort. Is it that hard to fathom a male with healthy confidence?

I refuse to take anything as an insult when it’s delivered with poor grammar. Want to clean it up and try again?

Not at all. I’m confident my girlfriend is as pleased as I am when it’s just the two of us. I’m not into disrespect or degradation.

We usually participate.

Aww, poor lamb. I’m sorry someone forced you to click on the post and comment despite you having no interest in it. Need me to get your special blanket for you?

Communicate, communicate, and communicate. Establish boundaries, don’t change those boundaries in the moment, and don’t hide anything. After each encounter, you should talk together about the experience (likes, dislikes, plans for next time). Let it be a spice to your relationship, not the main course. Take breaks when needed.

We always use protection, but she also has an IUD.

We’ve not had an STD/STI. We use protection. I don’t feel conflicted. We enjoy it, and it works for us. Some people like drinking, some like driving fast, some like talking to people online in a way they’d never have the courage to in-person (not you but some of these douches who’ve commented). We like to just like to have sex with strangers.

90% of our experiences have been at swinger clubs. I think you’re thinking of cucks. That doesn’t describe me or our dynamic.

I know, right? People should be playing Warzone Mobile, not enjoying a fun sex life in a fulfilling relationship.

Physical appearance shouldn’t be the foundation of anyone’s confidence, or lack thereof. Maintain your physical appearance (bathe, groom, and dress like you care about yourself) but healthy confidence can be more attractive to some women than physical appearance.

Your comments reek of insecurity masked with hypermasculinity. Reading them, I picture Hank Hill trying to assert himself as the man of the house to Peggy and Bobby when he gets home after his first prostate exam. Most of you chest-beating dumbasses on here are too stupid to realize how transparent your insecurities are to those of us who’ve overcome our own.

This is a statistically probable fact, not a brag. I’ve had more quality sex with desirable women than anyone you know. I’ve had sex with more desirable woman in 2024 than you’ve had in your lifetime.

If I wanted to have sex with men, I have the confidence and security in who I am to own it and act on it. I wouldn’t need a closet. And I damn sure wouldn’t need to beat my chest to try throwing people off my scent.

Two days ago, a woman I used to date (5 years ago) texted me. She was just checking in. I immediately told my GF and we discussed whether or not I would respond, how each of us felt about it, etc. We show each other respect and communicate about everything. We’re honest even when it’s hard. We have no secrets.

Sounds like you’ve worked hard to adapt to her needs.

My favorite thing about my GF is when she touches me (not sexually) while I’m driving. I catch her staring and smiling at me while my eyes are on the road. I’ve never been loved like this, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone or anything.

Our children are grown. We’ll continue as long as we’re both having fun, although we take breaks when needed and will quit entirely when either or both us decides it’s time.

Confidence comes from within. Being proud of who you are, honest with yourself, accepting of your faults. Obviously, you have to earn that by taking care of yourself physically and mentally, and it helps to have some brutally honest conversations with yourself. Face your fears and insecurities. Confidence will come. Women can spot a confident man.

We live together, share our lives together, and plan our future together. The swinger sex is just an extracurricular thing.

Make the time now! Not necessarily for sex with others but for a satisfying sex life and strong relationship. Find babysitters, make time to date each other, etc. I was married almost 15 years, and our marriage and sex life were both DOA by the time our kid was old enough to be home alone while we had date nights. The connection was long gone.

You’re about the fifth person who’s replied to someone with this comment on the thread. I think it’s something people say when they have nothing to contribute. How, exactly, does my username have any connection to my response?

I’m sure you could! I’m just a normal-looking guy. Confidence, security, and honesty bump me up a couple notches, though. MrFloridian1 wouldn’t understand.

Oh, I’m going to marry her one day. She’s incredible!

The kind of guy who’d ask that on Reddit isn’t the kind of guy who’d likely have much of a chance.

I don’t live for others’ approvals. Fortunately, my mom would be over-the-moon thrilled that I’ve found someone I’m truly happy with and wouldn’t have judged anything we did for fun.

We both enjoy rice and beans.

90% of the time, we’re at a swinger’s club. We live in a tourist area, so it’s almost always 50% or more new faces.

I think watching spider documentaries is weird, but to each his own.

OF definitely isn’t for us, but to each his own. We do it strictly for our own pleasure and entertainment.

I’ve been enjoying Cody Johnson’s latest album.

None for either of us.

When I was last single, I was having sex at a rate of about one woman every two weeks. Safe sex. My lifetime number is about 300 (I’m neither proud nor ashamed of that), and I have yet to catch anything. Of course I’m aware, and I take safety measures, but not so much that it deters me from having a great time.

More importantly, will you always be a virgin?

Not Brent but I like some metal.

We have two amazing dogs.

Zero chance

Mostly at a swinger resort. We both have to agree on all participants, and we both have veto power at any time.

It’s just sex with them. They don’t get to have a romantic night out, a quiet night in, sharing favorite TV shows, texts throughout the day, or even a kiss.

We’ve done several threesomes.

Anything from flirtation to sex without the partner’s knowledge and consent.

We keep a journal of all our escapades.

We were both into it. No jealousy. I was mostly sure I’d be OK with it, but I know myself well enough to know if I try something and am not into it, I mark it off the list and turn the page.

One begins his journey to a pathetic existence, I would suspect, by shitposting on Reddit. Not to be unkind, but I think a virgin shouldn’t have a strong opinion on the sex others have.

I have no doubt you’re the kind of guy who wears a shirt when he swims.

There were definitely some duds. Some guys (especially away from swinger resorts) also suck at grooming and hygiene, and they don’t seem to know all the key areas to scrub while bathing.

Interesting how the insecure males in the comments reply versus the secure males and almost every female.

Men who use clap emojis between words aren’t men. Judging by your posting and comment history, I doubt you have the required experience to speak on intercourse.