So for context me(20 male) and my now ex(21 female) dated for 2 months and were together for about a month. We had a mutual friend who is gay who I'll call tom(20 male).

Me and my ex had our share of ups and downs but there were 3 that rly set the events of what happened. The first was the day after we first kissed. My ex came onto me and I did reciprocate but when we talked she said she regretted it not because she didn't want to but because she didn't know if she was rdy to have a relationship. After that call we didn't talk for a few days.

During that time I talked to Tom about it because he was a mutual friend and he told me to give her space, but also told me things about my ex that she had told him in confidence that changed my opinion on her. He also told me he would try to make my ex talk to me but he told me to move on.

After a few days my ex called me and we talked. She apologized and we both agreed that we enjoyed it and we should start dating. Then I asked about Tom and she said he told her to never contact me again and that I was a bad person. I told her that he had told me stuff on her and we both agreed not to share personal stuff with Tom again to prevent this.

On the 2nd incident it was the day after we had fun time together and she wanted me to visit her. I asked if my mom could meet her because she rly wanted to and my ex agreed and we decided on a place. My ex lived in a part of town 1 hr away and it was a very run down part of town. She didn't tell me about it and both me and my mom were very concerned. When we met up my mom asked us if we could go to a park nearby because she wanted to talk to my ex there. I agreed and got in my ex's car and asked her to drive to the park 1 minute away. My ex did then was asking why my mom wanted us to go there to talk and I told her my mom was uncomfortable with me being in this unknown part of town at 11pm at night. My ex accused me that the reason was this area was "primarily hispanic". I got out of the car ASAP and said bye. That night she accused me of being racist and classist and a lot of other things I can't type. We didn't talk for 4 days after.

Tom and me met up with some other ppl to play tennis and Tom asked me about my ex. I told him we didn't make any contact but that I hoped things would work out. Tom told me that my ex was realizing she blew up on me and that she didn't know how to apologize. Later that night we called and talked and made up. She apologized and clarified that she shouldn't have called me those things but the damage had been done. We agreed to hang out next week and hope to talk more.

The following week on Monday we all hung out and things were good. Tuesday went to her place alone and we had fun time. I expressed that I was feeling like this wasn't working but she brushed it off as me bein tired. Then Thursday night we called and I said something about her visiting her sister and she said I was coming off rude and hung up. She called me an hr later and apologized but I couldn't deal with it.

I told her that I couldn't date her anymore and that I was tired of this lack of communication and lack of understanding what we rly were. I also brought up tom manipulating her to which she denied but when I brought up examples she went silent. I ended the call by saying goodbye and blocked her. Now it's a few days later and I did send her 1 I'm sorry text but that I can't be with her and she told me "she's good" and "don't text her again" which I have kept to.

Tom on the other hand reached out and accused me of things and said I would suffer the consequences of my actions. I told him to not contact me and he told me to grow the f up, then replied saying he wanted to talk, and the next day to talk and that there wouldn't be any violence... at this point I've called 911 on him and am awaiting my case officer. My ex is still not contacting me and I don't intend to text her either. Other mutual are involved because he has made threats to others before and now it's slowly coming together.

AITA?