Let me preface by saying the title maybe misleading. My husband (m/32) and myself (f/34) have been together for 8.5 years, married for 3.5. He and I have had a thing going on for a couple of year with the idea of me being with another guy either with or in front of him. His job has him traveling for work in another state for an unknown length of time. We had played around with the idea of me going on an app meant for the lifestyle and eventually I created a profile. The first profile I had he quickly changed his mind and I deleted the app. A few weeks later we decided I would get back on and within a couple of days I had over 800 hits on my profile. My bio explained my husband was out of town and I was looking to have fun and him maybe join once he got back. I spoke to a couple of guys, nothing sparked my interest. I started messaging one guy and asked my husband if I could give him my number and he said it was fine. My husband told me he liked the idea of me being secretive and knows l'm probably gonna go out with someone but would preter to not have to hear about it. I decided to meet the guy at a coffee shop and a meet up turned into 4 hours of talking and hanging out. We ended up going to my car and Hooked up (no sex). There were rules set in place that I broke. I called my husband after I had left and needless to say he's not okay with any of this. He said we are fine and we will get thru this but ultimately I feel like our marriage is tainted now. This was meant to be fun and transactional, not what it's turned into. Am I the asshole?