i (20f, 19 @ the time) got really close with a girl (21f) online several months ago. we texted and called each other constantly, had great rapport, and overall for me at least our relationship was incredibly positive. we started getting flirty with each other, and i began to fall in love.

fast forward to july of this year, and i really want to visit her. i find out that the university she goes to's football team is playing the school i had dropped out of, and suggested we go together. i even called it a date. she was very excited and said she'd love that. i buy two tickets to the game, a roundtrip flight to the other side of the continent, and a hotel room for us to share. this wasn't cheap.

i get there, and we have an amazing time. im not gonna go into detail about stuff that happened, but i will say that she told me she loved me several times. we held hands. we kissed in public. on the drive to the airport, i was trying not to cry because i knew it would be a long time before seeing her again.

fast forward a few weeks, and we're texting and i tell her i want to be with her. she responds saying "awww, im really sorry, i still wanna see you again but as friends yknow? i hope you're not hurt i care about you a lot."

i understand that she didn't mean to hurt me, i truly don't feel that she did, but why didn't she think a) that me spending hundreds of dollars to visit her and that anything i said to her indicated romantic interest and b) that telling me she loves me while we cuddle and letting me hold her hand and kiss her and stuff in public and calling things a date wouldn't make me think that she likes me?

am i overthinking this because im hurt or am i justified? or something else?

aita?

[yes i know this was several months ago, i feel a lot better ab it now i just never thought to post it here lol]