I am recently divorced after 22 years when my wife unexpectedly served me with divorce papers last year. I always felt I was an good husband and an excellent Dad. I took pride in this and it was my identity. We were both complimented.by family and many friends We stuck together and worked together to solve really complex issues. We lost our first child to SIDS and raised twins to adulthood and still have a medically complex 15 year old that we share custody of.

I get that intimacy in the best of situations can lessen but excluding a few mutually drunk nights my ex was completely disinterested for a decade. She made comments like " If only I had a sister wife that could handle your needs and wants" , or " the bedroom is always too cluttered to feel romantic surrounded by a mess". I made multiple efforts to clean house and even hired a cleaner to no effect. Finally after a heart to heart she informed me she was not attracted to me, and was interested in women. She told me the term Late Blooming Lesbian and I looked it up. It's far more common than I knew. The problem is she failed to share any of this with her family or our kids. I finally was fed up and told her very religious Mom and Brother and showed them a photo of pages out of her diary to prove this. So am I the Asshole for directing a key factor they had no idea of?