It feels like my partner (33F) keeps expecting me (29M) to read between the lines. She will come to me, express something like what chores she feels needs doing but give them to me on a statement. For an example if I'm in the kitchen with her and she's making something, she might say something like "I need milk." and then expects me to extrapolate from that statement that she's asking me to get her the milk. This is a pretty flavorless example but it applies to almost every request she makes. She will make a statement about need or necessity, but won't directly make the request to me.

I have Autism/ADHD (she's ADHD too) and see this kind of communication style as kinda manipulative tbh, and I've expressed to her multiple times that my brain takes things very literally and it requires extra brain acrobatics to be able to extrapolate the hidden request within her statement, which is exhausting, and I don't always have the spoons. I have repeatedly asked to just be direct with her request. Instead of making a statement like "The dishes need to be done to make supper." Just say "Hey, can you wash the dishes please?" Or even saying "It would be a big help if you could do dishes. The first one feels like social queuing and manipulation, the other ones feels more like a direct request that gives me autonomy on the choice, and makes me feel like I'm being asked to help, not expected to.

Lately she's been getting mad at me for saying "That is a statement, what is your request?" To which hearing that, she blew up in my face, projected that I didn't want to help, and that "anyone else would just do (the thing)". And that she will just do it despite the pain and inconvenience it causes her do to her pain conditions.

Am I being unreasonable? Or am I being manipulated? Because it feels like the latter.